Sydney, Australia

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Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

The potentials all there.

Hey thought I'd weigh in. Fairly good grammar and spelling, although I noticed a few slips, though there was one section when a whole bunch of speech got glued together even as they were alternating people so just need to drop a few lines. Perhaps you should break up the different moments in your chapter by making a line of - or doing a ... to make sure the events remain separate. I think you need to take some time to show the emotions rather than just telling them. But I am really interested in the concept of the story, I really think you could have something interesting going here. So keep up the good work, let's see how far you can come!

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Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.