Quin Cooper

Fanfiction Author

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A cool idea, but could still use some work.

I think the overall plot is very interesting. It's definitely something that I haven't read before. However, there are a few things that could be improved upon. There are quite a few spelling errors throughout the whole story, and there are places where you used commas instead of periods or went without commas all together.
I would also suggest doing a bit more research on the characters you're including, especially if they aren't original. I had trouble picturing Yoda being the one speaking at the beginning, mostly because his distinctive speaking pattern was nowhere to be found. I also thought your portrayal of Darth Sidious was a little too chatty and physically involved in the action. While he is an excellent fighter, he's much more likely to pull strings from the background. I would say that he would send Darth Vader, but it's canon that Vader refuses to ever return to Tatooine, so Sidious would have to send someone else. Also, if he was so interested in Ezra, why would he leave him on Tatooine and not have him brought to Coruscant?
I have a slight problem with your original character, Indigo. I'm assuming that you intend to make her and Ezra a couple. She just feels really underdeveloped. She hasn't done anything of merit so far, yet everyone just kind of assumes that she has the same problems and abilities as Ezra. I mean, she might, but there isn't enough information given to jump to that conclusion. Everyone comes to trust her extremely fast, which I think is a bit odd.
Anyway, I feel like this is an interesting idea, but it could still use some work. On a side note, I love that you decided to use Cad Bane as the bounty hunter! (You did misspell his name, but reading 'Cane Bane' made me laugh).

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