Grant Ayers

Rad

one of my favorites

Great

So the writing has improved impeccably. From screenwriting format to an actual novel format level of writing. The dialog was a little rough but that will happen when you switch writing styles. Now as for the story itself, it's more like a teaser for Among The Star Gods. Which is a delight.

Great

Witches are incredible and the author writes them excellently.

creative out the butt

I thought it was funny more than anything else. And every chapter ended with the main character thinking "fuck" and I don't know why but I think it's hilarious. She's getting railed and then off to go fight or sneak out. The plot is funny and worth a read.

creative out the butt

Creative out the ass bud. Great job.

Great

It's a long story, took me a while to finish it. Which is a good thing. And damn. There is a lot to cover but I have other things to do. So I'll shorten my review. The characters are spectacular, the writing style is smooth, and the emotions are just flying everywhere. Love it.

Great

This story was amazing. I would recommend it to everyone that I know. I think your strong suit is your character portrayal. The way that you described them and then allowed them to speak in their own words was spectacular.

Great

I love your characters and you're descriptions. The only thing lacking is that there are a few mess-ups in spelling. But hey I would read more of it.

amazing

I thought your story was amazing to say the least. I hope you keep writing and one day gets this work published.

scp 049

SCP vibes. Cool

worth the read

it was worth the read

Amazing story

Great plot

rereading now

can't to read the story again it was that good.

Sorry

Okay so I'll try and point out everything in the comments but I hate to drag your story through the mud here. Because what you do really well is character development. But it is the emotional portrayal that is not hitting home. All your characters talk like robots with he said she said type of deal. Mix that up and I'm 100% sure that the story would be a five-star.

Mistakes

So I think that story is alright but there are just mistakes through out it that I didn't really appreciate. The main character was practically mute. And there was little information as to why are what was going on. So yeah four stars all across.

Cool

It's a great story, can't really say much else.

I don't like it

So I know that I'm supposed to give reasons, and I will but keep an open mind. Stories ain't written like this. This type of writing style, the way that it's plotted out, is just overall trash in my eyes. I don't like it and that's my opinion. And why I would give it an overall rating of three stars. And on top of that, there is misspelling and everything is in italics. Why? This isn't how you write a story. I'm sorry. It has a few good things about it. LIke characters. That's about it.

Great

I should rank this story lower because it's only one chapter. Actually, I think I will because not a lot can be said about it. I don't know what people expect when they ask for a review for a book that only has one chapter in it. you can't judge it really. I got nothing from the first chapter.

Sad

I think the novel is a bit sad but with it only being at three chapters who knows what can happen? So go check out the book.

Great story

So I know I'm late to review this, but I found the story really good and would recommend that you take an interest in it as a reader.

Damn

So let's go through this one step at a time. Your summary is legit bigger than all of your chapters. Like,.. It hurts to read. It took me fifteen minutes and like that, I wasted fifteen minutes. The story was none, existent guy. I hate to be like this but we'll begin with your plot.
I'm going to be rough and say that I'm docking three stars off the bat. One for your summary is longer than all of your chapters. another star because I didn't get what you were trying to relay in the story. All I got was that it was about terrorism. And that's all. You're not painting a picture, you're not informing, you're not telling a story. So I think that your plot suffers from the lack of detail and just having no thickness to it. And the third star because I'm just upset at reading such a thing. Like I know that's not a valid reason so I'll give you your third reason why I think the plot is worth of being a two-star. It is a book that maybe took the writer a total of maybe an hour to write. It was simple, not over-detailed, and could have really just not existed. I know it's harsh but I don't think the author was serious when they wrote the story. And so I'm giving the plot a total of two stars.
Okay, writing style time. This is where the author catches a break. So writing styles can vary and each author has a unique writing style. As I said above the author was not very detailed or informative. So what makes this writing style worth at least four stars? I give the author the benefit that they can at least write clearly. No mistakes were seen and no misspells. Plus the words used were big and juicy. That part of the story was the best part. Looking up the definition for the big words that were used. So the author gets 4 stars on writing style. And while we are at it the technical portion is five stars.
At the end of the day, the author succeeded in writing a clean manuscript with little to no errors. But at the great cost of the plot and the story itself. And as a writer, author, and journalist I think that even though the total of the story would be 11/15 which would give it a three-star I have to go with my beliefs. Which is the belief that the plot itself is the most important thing in writing. And sure you can have a neatly written and correction-free book but if the plot is nonexistent or bland then who is going to read it? So I say this as kind as I can. The story International Criminal in my eyes is worth 2 stars. I'm not going lower one because I don't want to come off as attacking this writer. And two because the story is edited to perfection. It truly does look great. And at the end of the day, it's my opinion. And I can't prove to inkitt why I scored the plot so low. I can really only say that there wasn't one to really follow and it didn't connect with me. So if you are a reader and you feel the need to prove me wrong then, please. Pick up this story and delve straight into it.

Great story

Needs a bit of editing but otherwise great read

Great story

I think there were up and downs but overall I think I would recommend it to a friend.

The One That Was Taken

So here we are again with a three-chapter book. And this is what I got from it. As it is still in progress I can't really judge the plot of the story as there is not a thick enough one to go off of. It's too early to say who's my favorite character, and overall, it's a fast-paced story. I don't even think that all three chapters combine equal five pages. But the author gets their kudos when it comes to writing a plot that is hooking. In every chapter I wanted to know what would happen next, what was going to be the upcoming cliffhangers,.. and so on. The characters themselves are awesome, adventurous with a little bit of fucked up, meaning relatable, lol. And I think that if I did have to pick favorites mine would be Adriano. Thinking that this is only the beginning and not wanting to be harsh I'm going to give the plot five stars. Because I didn't see anything wrong other than the pace of it. And face pace can work, and it has so far.
Now writing style. It reminds me of when I started professionally writing a year ago. Flawed and a little too box-like. Boring in other terms, wanting to explain every little thing to the minute detail. With that said the other does feed us information about the story but either put it in awkwardly or too blunt. Like in chapter three the very last paragraph, chapter two paragraphs the first three sentences and then goes on to the sixth and seventh sentences. Was put awkwardly or didn't put enough emotion into it. So I'm docking a point for your writing style is still new, not experienced enough to write something that is encompassing your vision perfectly. Meaning it'll get better after time. But that time isn't now and not with this story. So four stars.
Now, this is where I might step on some toes if I haven't already. I have no intention of being mean or trying to get this author a bad score on purpose. The punctuation, grammar, and sentence structure is messed up, and some words aren't spelled correctly. Not that big of a deal but worthy already of a docked point. I would normally not dock a point if it was only one or two words but there were at least six or seven different words misspelled. And I'm docking another star because of the awkward sentence structure that I already mentioned. So three stars.
Okay now as we get into the overall rating I think that it's best to remind you that out of 15 stars the story would be a 12/15. And that's cool since some stories can't even get 10/15 on this app. The story The One That Was Taken is a clever story with amazing characters and a plot that I think is acceptable and hooking. If you're into a thriller romance subplot then this is the story for you. I would suggest this to my friends. But wit the flaws that it has now I'm going to give it an over all rating of four stars.

Great overall

So the sex scenes were very vivid but the story was lacking. I just couldn't get connected with the characters. And then there were the whole dialog tags that were wrong. Plus the misspells there and here in the chapters. Either way, though I would give it a second read.

damn

I know I have to explain but it's all just going to be slander. The story is easy to predict and the writing style is very blunt and robotic. And don't get me started on the technical stuff. It's bricks of words after bricks of words. On top of that, I think the author spelled the book's name wrong. Angel is spelled A-N-G-E-L. So when you read the title of the book it reads out like "Oh please return to me obtuse angle." It's funny. This is ironic because the story itself isn't. It's very serious about kids doing kids' stuff. I feel like a jackass too saying this stuff. Like overall it's one chapter that I'm reviewing. So I can't comment on the plot because the plot hasn't developed, The writing style can change later on and I'll look like a fool. And as for the grammar and formatting, its terrible but a simple edit will fix all that. So with everything said, Scarletlove I think there's room to grow. And maybe when it's around the fifth chapter I can change the review. Because I'm sure you're talented and I want to see you grow. The one thing that I'll say that you absolutely just hit out of the park with, was your dialog. You made your characters have an individual voice. So great for you. I hope you keep writing.

Found my reflection

So with only there being two chapters, I can't really go off of anything besides what is already written. And the way I judge and review stories I'll be going through them and tell the reader why you should read it and what the author can do/ what my opinion is. Let's begin with the plot. While I do think it is interesting because the characters really bring it to life and give it that suspense that most romance stories have I also think that it's very rushed. Like we are introduced to a new character every chapter (That's not saying much as there are only 2 chapters) as we get pushed into another person's perspective. So I think I'll dock a point in the plot because it's hasty and unclear.
Next up is writing style. This novel is written like a movie script. And that's not to say that the writing is bad but there are downfalls to this hasty type of writing. Where the characters feel more alive the background lacks. Because that's what writing a movie script is like. You provide a vague place and allow the dialog to tell the story. And you see that in this book "Found my reflection in your soul, " it just reads as if the author is rushing his story. Again this goes back to point one of the plots right where I say that the pacing of the lot is rushed. And this writing style doesn't benefit the plot downfalling it just the same. So with that said I think that it's fair to dock the writing style a star.
Lastly, we have writing skills. The grammar was off as a few sentences and a few dialog tags were missing commas and sometimes just missing a letter in a word. An example would be chapter one-third sentence of the second paragraph. With the formatting also not being your typical novel format instead portrayed as a movie script format is just not my taste. I don't think it works for most novels. With that said I'll dock that two stars. One for the mess-ups in grammar I suggest a pro writing aid and the other star for the formatting of the book itself.
So the overall score would be 11/15 which would be around the low C area. And therefore I'm going to give the overall rating 3/5 stars. The story is hooking maybe a little difficult to read, but overall I can't wait for more chapters to read. It has potential and the author is really good and giving each individual character their own voice. I hope that the author takes my constructive criticism. Because the problem that they have is formatting and just a couple of edits to make. And I would slow down the pacing of the story by a tad because it just all felt a little rushed within the first two chapters. So reader come check out the story "Found My Reflection In Your Soul" by Reecha K

Here

Have the stars. I laughed my ass off.

K-belmonte

There was a review just like third from the top and I think I agree with it and say that the story had ups but mostly downs. Like grammar was a big hit to this book out of everything else. Like it was confusing who was talking which made the story frustrating to read. Plus the constant addition of plot points and characters made it harder to attach yourself to a character and what they can do. I read up to chapter five and said that I think I should put it down. Now where the story did well was the descriptions of characters and backgrounds. But you can have a cool-looking character and a cool background but without a decent story that is somewhat easy to follow your just not going to have a cool book. So sorry if this sounds harsh but I think points have already been made and I can't just copy and paste another person's review because well, plagiarism, but K-Belmonte took the words out of my mouth and I agree 100% with his review.

Didn't connect

The plot in my opinion wasn't able to connect with me on a personal or emotional level. But with that said the book is perfectly written and I can see others liking it.

Demons!!!

I want to say The Office/Riverdale/Harry Potter/Percy Jackson vibes. The twist is that there are fucking demons!!! The idea is cool and I didn't read any mistakes so good for the author on that bit.

Great

It's a powerful story about a girl who is deaf, which is a clever play on the title. I think that author did a great job writing this story and I can't wait to read more. Like I'm on chapter 8 and I just have to say it was very emotional and,.. I can't wait to read more.

Great

So I would say if you just broke up your paragraphs this would be a five-star rating all the way down. That and if you maybe bump the speed up a little bit. But that's just a suggestion. Either way, it was a good two-chapter read.

Great novel

So I read up to chapter five and it's a slow burner of a book. Right now in chapter five, it's picking up quite nicely. My favorite character is Fergus because he just is relatable and just a badass of a guy. Now the main character is a female that I found forgettable and sorry if that's the case just my personal opinion. The descriptions were okay like the background was either there or not. If the background was described then it would just be two characters talking or fighting. A lot of info dumping too. But that's not a bad thing I love a good info dump.

Great man

Just keep writing it's good.

cool

So the problem that I have with this book is that I just don't like nor do I think it compares to that of other erotica. Like erotica doesn't just have to be about sex. While sex does play a key role in erotica, the sex itself is secondary to the development of the characters and plot. A good erotica writer knows that, no matter how great the sex is, there still needs to be a good, solid story if one wants to hold a reader's interest. And this story lacks any good story. And then it also lacks in the sex department too. So both of that kind of make me want to just give the story a three-star. But I do have to give credit where credit is due. For instance, I think that the best part of the book was the description of the characters. There were a few spelling mistakes as well but who gives a shit about that? Like it's a free book that will one day be worth something so I'm just glad that I got to read it now. Maybe in the future, the author will work out these kinks. I don't know how they'll do it but I imagine it would take 1 a lot of coffee, 2 a whole new plot line, 3 and a few emotional breakdowns. Kidding on that last part. But I do hope that the author continues to write.

Generic

Like want fantasy and bad assery then check this book out. There's a few spelling errors but what really weighs the book down in my opinion is that it was more or less a classic predictable story.

Fire

😎👍🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Loved all three chapters

Love all three chapters and all of the concepts.

Funny

It goes in and out of 1st person pov and 3rd person pov. That enough is what is making this book a three star because a lot of it was hard to read. But what could be read was very hilarious. So read it if you want to laugh

Loved the twists

This is a story that kept me on my toes. Now it's a short story that felt like a whole movie. Oh and that twist at the end there wasn't something I expected. Like it was a whole moment captured perfectly.

Great

So I want to say that the story itself was great the author knew how to write and manipulate emotions through her characters. Sylvester was my favorite character out of everyone. But what the author struggles with is separating dialogue tags and maybe just thickening a few details of the story that I think I would love to see as a reader. But I would say that this book is a solid 4/5 stars. Because the dialogue tags made it very confusing who was talking and this made it harder to imagine the story. Oh, and the plot felt rushed and a little unclear. Because the train of emotion was, happy, sad, angry, happy, horny. In that order lol. but I'll be clear. If the author interacts with this review I'll bump it up to 5 stars because one author interaction is excellent and because maybe they can explain a few things for me. But in the meantime, you should for sure check this story out.

Interesting concept

So the idea of the entire book is original and a very fun thing to think about. Imagine if your first love, your "first time" and blam have to marry that person. I was laughing because my friend had just told me about his first time and how he hated it. Lol. But I wish there were more of a reason why the law exists where you have to marry the first person you exchange a sexual experience with. With that said the formatting was terrible and the whole thing was just a big block of text. That could easily be fixed so I'm not going to rag on it too much.

Ayaan

The main character is relatable and fun to read about. And just seeing how everyone interacts with him just gives an all-around cheery feeling you can tell that the author was having fun with this story. I liked the setting, the plot, and just the atmosphere of the book.

🔥🔥🔥🔥

Not much to go off right now. Dialogue was rough but the speech was amazing to read. I felt inspired from this one chapter and I think I would love to read more. I can see this book hitting shelves of every home in the usa

bad ass cover

I love the cover, and the story, and saw very few mistakes to nit-pick about. I can see this book going places. Great job author. And sorry it took me so long to write a review.

15 chapters in

I read up to fifteen chapters and I have to say other than the missing commas the author didn't miss a single thing when it came to this story. The characters are relatable and I thought the story was really sweet.

good good good

So fantasy and romance. Not a lot of good ones written out there. For example, this is just my opinion but at least this book wasn't the twilight series. Didn't like those books but The Host on the other hand. Now that was a good sci-fi/romance. Either way, this book did its job and I kind of want to read it a second. Either way good read you should check it out. Chow.

Great

So I've reviewed stories from one chapter to up to 90 and the similarity of the both of them is that every word is impactful in some way. I mean by this that the author has already shown us quite a bit with one chapter. Now it took me a week to get to it but now I have a regret. Lol. I should have read it sooner and I want to read more. I want to see these characters grow and show me a few twists. Oh, and before I continue, when I review stories, I base it on what I've read. So the grammar and writing style was good. I think that was truly extraordinary. But the plot is a 2 star because there is not a lot of plot to go off of as of right now. So with that said I think it's only fair to give it a two-star until the story grows. And I want to see that. Hopefully, this will be motivation.

P.s. I loved the story. I hope you continue writing. And that many readers get to see your imagination.

Good Idea

So this whole thing is just his idea of what time is and how he views it. There is a quote and some other colorless points. And so there isn't a plot and it's complete by chapter 1. So, in my opinion, I think that the idea and his views are five stars. But when it comes to clarifying his viewpoint I think he could do better. Pull out more examples, more quotes, and just stretch your viewpoint a little so that it's understandable for someone who doesn't have the point of view. LIke I think time is something that we have in our grasp and that we don't just follow it. That we stand there and have a choice. To either follow it or make it into something amazing. And if this was your point or if I'm off topic then it's the writer for not clarifying. See what I mean? Like clarification and some more explaining and I think this would be a great little study for people to come to check out and maybe start up a conversation. Either way short and creative. Like it.

I'm Batman

So I love the concept but there were just bricks of words and then the unseperated dialog and nearly any space. But with that said I would love to see more chapters instead you the author fixing the first chapter. Mainly only for one reason. Because like every single writer on this planet the more a person writes the better the writer. The more person edits the least amount of writing happens. But hey at least you'll be good at editing. LOL. What I'm saying is I want more chapters and your grammar could use a tad of tinkering.

Go Nick

So I think the highlight of the entire story was chapter 4. Just because I love the descriptions. It was easy to read and If I'm correct it's still ongoing so if you're a reader this is your chance to influence the story in how it's written. Leave a comment and a like because this story is worth it.

Loved it

Couldn't see anything wrong with the story. And hey if you want to argue about it read it and come back to me. But what I have to say about it is perfect characters, great emotional manipulation, and the background of the world is exactly what I wanted to imagine in a story.

Wow

I liked it. It's short sure but it was the perfect day for a short story. I can't wait for more. This is what I love about inkitt. Is that you get to read a chapter a day and the author updates with fresh ideas. Love it and you as a reader should read this story as well.

Poem to story

I liked it. But I think that what's going to happen with this story is that most people come to inkitt to read stories and seeing a book that is a story but formatted as a poem is a little off-putting. But with that said I enjoyed it. So to readers, I think you should totally read this story.

it's great

it's great. Like I didn't go into it thinking that it was poetry so I thought it was messed up and that the author didn't know what she was doing. But reading the other reviews I went through it a second time and it was a more pleasant thing to read. But I don't know. It's just not for me I guess. Still, I'm not going to give this person a bad review because of my tastes. It was a good book overall and there were very few to no mistakes that I could spot. Good job author and kudos when it gets published or whatever your goal is with this book. Sorry if this sounds rude.

Ok

I see why your other reviews are sorta speechless. Like the story itself was kinda stale but had its moments. Like a meh story. It kept me reading sure but not of interest but more because I was waiting for a little pizzazz. But we both know it comes and when it does I enjoy the heck out of it. So if your a reader then this one should be on your reading list.

Good for one chapter

The beginning was great but with there only being one chapter there wasn't a lot to say about the book in a whole. Either way, you should read it you'll have fun.

A harem story

So the story as far as I read makes me want to read it more. Only because I met the man named Andrew. The biggest douche in the world but yet I can see it ending with Weber in his arms. And just by reading a little fraction of what the story has the author showed me a world where this creative and strong woman meets all these different dudes and the interactions between the men and the main character made me burst out in laughter one of the best reads that I've had in a bit. Especially when it comes to romance.

One Chapter Wonder

I loved reading this! I can't wait to find out what happens next. But putting everything in italics is off-putting. Overall it's a good start but it's way too early to review such a thing. More chapters, please.

I laughted through the entire book

Not saying that this book is a joke. But for what is labeled a horror it was more like a dark comedy. Because the main character is so MESSED UP. Especially in the first two chapters. My favorite chapter in the book was chapter 6 and would tell everyone that if they can get there they struck gold. It's amazing to read the story and can't wait for it to be updated more.

Edge of my seat worthy

I was thrilled to read this story. From the beginning to where the story is right now I was at the edge of my chair reading from my laptop just zooming through chapters. I think if anyone is interested in a fantasy/thriller they should hop on this book!

Wait! I'll update this!

So off of the first chapter, it's needs editing. But I think I was warned that before reading this. So getting past all that I read this book as a reader. And what I thought was that I can't wait to read more chapters of this story. Because I honestly see this story reaching thousands of readers. It has potential out the ass in lamens terms.

Not what it seemed

See when I first saw the cover I thought it was just going to be some sort of high school love triangle thing that I wasn't going to be interested in. But no this book blew my mind away with its badass fight scenes, cool characters, and a very brave female protagonist. There wasn't really one mistake that I saw reading it. Would 100% recommend it to any other person looking for a spectacular fantasy.

Flawless

This story is fantasy. It's engaging, beautiful imagery, spectacular fight scenes, and spelling and grammar as far as that goes is just on point. This is a unicorn of stories. I think that if anyone has the time they should invest it in reading this story. I thought it was amazing to read it. Every second was just page turn after page turn. And the best part is that it's still going. I can't wait to read more chapters!

Long but worth it

The story in itself is very long for the six chapters that it has. But while reading it I hardly noticed as chapter flew by one by one. It's an enticing book that deserves more readers.

The immortal prisoner

I liked it. Yes I am the author and yes I am bias. But it was fun to write and I think that others can enjoy the short-story

Rad

Talented writing at it's very best

Awesome

Cute

amazing

did great with the romance plot

Great

I think the story was great.

Rad

It doesn't really get the story across but from what I've seen it's interesting, to say the least.

creative out the butt

Creativity and extraordinary is the best way to describe this book.

Awesome

it's scary but not enough.

Great

I think the plot is great, the characters are amazing and full of emotion, also the author is great at making a setting come to life.

fuck yeah

bad ass and action pack. Just the way I like it.

Great

This book is fantastic and cliche a bit. But a good cliche.

Great

Spicy book to read, funny, and it's just an experience.

Great

The story was amazing to every last detail.

fuck yeah

This is an amazing story

Great

I found the book to be okay like I don't think it's my type of story. But I do think people who love the genre would flood this novel with only nice things to say.

love it

all the tricks I like about romance that I love. it was definitely a treat to read this story.

Funny

I loved your story

fuck yeah

So I can say after a bit that this story is great.

Great

So too many author notes. But other than that I thought the chapters that I did read were perfect. You're really good at writing suspense.

Rad

cool

Gorgan

I love your characters

fuck yeah

I thought the story was really driving and you even managed to make me love one of your chapters.

Great

The story was great

chapter 5

so I've read up to chapter six and I can say there are ups and downs between chapters. Like there were times when the mood of the story would just drop on its head. With that said though I'm going to continue reading it and hope that others pick it up.

Gods!

I like this book. It's one that I think a fifteen-year-old me would've loved to see on a bookshelf. The only real complaint I have is that I don't really like the cover. I feel like it should be more stoic but that's just my opinion. I do like the background myths and how the characters portray their emotions. Feels like I'm learning a lot about the history of this world that this author wrote.

five stars

five stars

horrific

like it just wasn't my go-to thing to read. The chapters were great the spelling was tremendous but the plot was just too actual of a vibe.

Awesome

The story is great and I would read it again.

Rad

I liked it and I think others would too. Keep writing and I'm sure the readers will keep coming in.

Great

So I don't like the slow pace of it all but over all I think the story is onto something with the symbolism. Love that part of it all.

lovely

I loved this story, great descriptions.

need more chapters

The great story would reread it. Great characters, great description

love the cover

I like the setting of this book it provides a very great insight into the characters and just amazing storytelling.

great story

I know my reviews have been short lately and I'm sorry it's just that covid is somehow still relevant and I got it. Feeling like shit. But this story has been really nice to read while I've been stuck in my bed. And I would read it all again.

love it

I would say it was one of the best stories I read here on inkitt

Read it all the way

it was a cool ride

coool

the story was cool and definitely should be read.

Great story

The chapters were short and sweet, wish that more world-building happened with a few more detailed descriptions like characters and backgrounds.

scary

I thought the story was good and I hope the author keeps writing.

Thumbs up.

wish that there was more action personally but other than that the romance is amazingly portrayed and with no spelling mistakes that I saw.

Sorry

the plot was just not,.. how can,.. Damn okay so the plot is just not inspirational or original, the horror and the female vampire are portrayed poorly and I could get down with the plot or the characters at all. Sorry, everything else is perfect but I just hate the main character and the whole story surrounding them. I hope you keep writing but I just can't point my finger at what was wrong other than the character and the sheer story surrounding them.

dedication

lot of work went into this novel and it was worth it. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Great story

I think others would like this story more then me but I didn't really see any big problems with it.

So much horror

This is a great inspiration for other horror writers. Because you truly know how to set up a plot.

spooky

The story was everything that I hoped it be.

yes

Keep writing and I promise you'll have a reader.

great story

Keep writing the story was amazing.

great start

not a lot to go off of and the story isn't clear because there is only two chapters. With that said though I would read it if there were more. It's interesting to say the least.

Lazy title

When life gives you zombies kill them. Which is a great little segway into what makes up this story. A lot of brain-bashing and emotional nipple-twisting. Found it funny most of the story though. Don't know if that was the goal but that's what it did for me so there's that.

Great

So the cover is to die for. With that said the story has a few grammatical problems but none to big that it takes away focus. Plus fuck commas. Either way the plot is amazing and would read it for the plot alone.

Sad and depressing.

Didn't like the story but I'm sure others would.

Lovely

Amazing concept and a very great story.

Bad ass story

Don't like the cover and that's my only complaint. The story and the mc make this a ride-or-die book and I'm in fully strapped! Loved the action and the plot. Truly felt like I was reading a female Rick Riordan piece. The author gets the feel of what camp half blood is supposed to be with the students and the adventures. Plus being a demi-god is always a great lead for any story. Felt like I was back in highschool.

cap

First I'm not here to bring a story down but you're capitalizing and grammar needs a lot of work. And I'll be happy to point it out if I must but if I do it's going to sound like I'm degrading the story. And I'm not here to do that. I think that story itself is actually unique and I would love to reread it.

Great

It's not a story I would read but I can see a lot of people storming over one another to get this from a Walmart. Soooo pick it up I guess and start reading.

great story

not my thing but overall a good story.

loved the story

The romance plot made me giggle but other than that it was a really fantastic read. Hope the author continues it.

Great

The story had some of the best pacings I've ever seen. With that said thou it has one or spelling mistakes that didn't really hinder me but still feels deserving a docking one star in that department. Either way would recommend people to read it.

great story

Now I know NaNoWriMo is almost half way there and writers are busier than ever. Hell, it was hard finding time to review this story but I can say that it's a huge inspiration. It's written perfectly no flaws in it. Now as for the story I would love to see more before further commenting. But I can see the future in it.

Fast

So based on three chapters I will say that it's very fast-paced and action-packed. I think this book would be better in that genre. But as that is said I think that the pace could be slowed down and that certain details could be stretched out. So the fast rating is 4, 5, 4, 5. Nice score if you ask me. So check out this book and have a nice day.

NaNoWriMo

I wrote this during National Novel Writing Month and appreciate all the feedback that I can. I'm enjoying writing the story so far and hope that others will like reading it as much as I have been writing it. Now it's edited to the best ability. Will try to rework it by the end of the month. Thank you for all of your reviews, comments, and likes on the story.

b story

So imagine a B rated movie but transfer that into pages. It's okay but it's a one time read.

Great story

I never felt such joy reading a story like this one on inkitt. Because it's well written and the story just hits.

Cover to die for

Great story.

Spooky

The story so far is truly terrifying and just coming out of Halloween I'm surprised that this story has little attention. I think it would be great. The only thing that I say that I don't like about it is the cover. But with that opinion out of the way, I truly believe that this story is one that all horror fans would love to read.

Great story

It great story just fix up your grammar and it'll be perfect.

cool

press the enter bar and the whole story is perfect. All of your dialog and paragraphs are stuck together.

Sorry for the harshness

so it's a three-star story because there is a lack of emotion within the writing and the plot is heavily overlooked.

Read it liked it

Go and read this story. Sure there are a few misspells and things like that. And sometimes you can't tell who's talking. Wich effected the plot of the story. Either way, check this book out.

Grand

Great, let's get down to this review!!! So the goal of an evaluation is to inform others why they should or shouldn't pick up said book that you reviewed. With that said let's say why you should. The pros to this book is that the technical side of things the book is perfect. Didn't see any problems, considering most books on inkitt are unedited. Now as for the plot I think the ending for each chapter could have been written better. Plus I don't know if the story is a callback or not. Because it kept switching tenses. With that said though the writing style is great. It's dramatic, to say the least. Which is awesome. Now I wouldn't read this book if you don't like witches or a slightly confusing plot.

Spooky

The story was a tad scary. Which is a good thing. Read this story.

cool story

Cool story just wasn't my thing.

Great story

1/10 done with it and already I can say that I'm hooked. And I know any reader would be if they checked it out.

Cool

I think that story is great with one problem, the characters are a little stale. But that's it. I would check out this story.

Vamps

Great vampires.

great story

it's a good story

Amazing

So there are a few things to say about this. It's an awesome chick-flick with two very strong and awesome female leads. The plot going up to chapter 5 is awesome. The two sisters Hailey and her younger one (I forget her name so I apologize) are some of the best characters in the story. And the plot only drives them to be better. Just within the first couple of chapters, you are hooked because Hailey is a beast, just an absolute girly girl that can stand up for herself. Mwah. Love it. The plot itself is a five-star for me.
As for writing style, there are a few desperate attempts that the author goes for in terms of emotion. Now, this is just my opinion but there is such a thing as too much emotion. The book really gets drowned out in happiness and a little mellow drama. It's funny sure but I think it could be cut a little less. Either way, I don't think it's worth docking a star. But with that said the author's descriptions are good, her chapters are not too long nor are they too short and it gives off a nice flow. Great.
Okay, this is the part that all authors dread. Technical writing skills. There were a few misspellings. Oh no! Kidding. Well not really. What I mean is not to be dramatic about how little this really matters to me as a reader. Now as a writer this kind of sucked because it got me thinking about how much I needed to edit my stories. But as a reader it really only made me lose focus a couple of times. (Author please go check out chapters 2 & 3) But I'll only dock one star for that.
This story is a 14/15, which is a direct five-star book. Just off of the score alone, the author deserves this rating and I personally thought the story was amazing. So kudos.

YAY

So the plot of the story is really amazing. The author does really well in painting a character and pinning their unique voices to each character. And it reminded me a lot of some of my beginning work. So I had a nostalgic taste in my mouth on top of feeling a new awesome book hit my eyes. It's original and just hits home in the fantasy realm. I hope to see more books like this one hitting Inkitt. So the plot of the story is five stars.
Now on to writing style. The author was very detailed in a lot of spots throughout the book. Maybe too much detail. In this, I mean that the pacing was amazing but every bit of info was just splatted onto the page. leaving too much to the reader. It's a book. Not a movie. You can take time to express your character. Where I do believe that the characters are good all about them kind of just gets spewed all in one chapter. Didn't like this so I'm going to dock a star due to plot dumping. But otherwise, the pace, the vocabulary, and just the overall feeling were great. So four stars.
As we go into the technical stuff I have a few things to say here about this story. One there weren't any spelling errors. I like reading a book without any spelling errors. As for grammar it also didn't skip a beat. But what the author sucks at is they put "continue" at the end of each chapter. Not "to be continued". but I'm not going to dock a star because of that. But I will say that if you can just word "continue differently the end of your books would look a lot better. So five stars.
Meaning your book scored 14/15!!! That means the overall rating is five stars. Because that is what your book is worth. I liked it from the beginning to the end. Keep up writing more chapters. I've added it to my list and am waiting for the next one. Thank you.

Great sex

Great sex scenes. Funny too.

great

great story

Beryl

So since the book is five chapters I can give somewhat opinions on the plot. Coming straight off the fifth chapter I can say that the drama romance that you will want to read has everything that one could want. Imagine Riverdale and Blue Bloods had a crossover. That explains the plot of the movie nearly to a T. And those are amazing shows known for their great story. Beryle gets five stars for plot and writing style as she makes it feel satisfying to complete each chapter and gives us a clever cliffhanger to end each chapter. Excellent writing. Now as for the technical stuff there were a few misspelled words. But not enough to deter the reader (me). So four stars for that one. You should read Beryle from Lyriccoffee because if you like drama, murder mystery, and romance then this is the book that you should pick up. Over all rating five stars.

funny

The entire story is funny and great to read.

coolio

read up to chapter five have to say go for it. Read it till your heart stops.