Hey everyone, I posted my first finished novel recently & I'd love some feedback. It definitely falls under the 'thriller' category.
Just wanted to get an opinion on the latest chapter of my wip psychological thriller LADIES CLOSE YOUR EYES.
Just left a short excerpt here to wet your appetite a little. It's mystery about a couple who undergo an unorthodox form of marriage counseling and end up in the crosshairs of a very methodical serial killer.
It's a little like memento meets eternal ... See More sunshine of the spotless mind. Got a lot of Lynch in there so there's a little forced cheese, lots of influence from Mulholland Drive and Inland Empire as well as of course Twin Peaks. Lots of inspiration from videogames like Max Payne and Silent Hill. So it's shaping up to be a very weird and wonderful thriller if I do say so myself.
Please check it out, give it a review and I'd be happy to take a look at your work and leave an honest review.
“It’s ok”. Harri put her hand on Dole’s shoulder stopping him pulling the entire sheet off which he was likely to do. “Just talk”.
The littleman looked a little puzzled, he looked over to Con who shrugged very subtly. The little man let go of the sheet and stepped back. He reached back into his pocket to dab his forehead again with the tissue. He scrunched up his mouth and tried to align his thoughts in an order that would make sense.
“Ok well, she’s a prostitute, we pulled up her record. She was in trouble for soliciting, her name is Sidney Cot. There are a number of injuries, post mortem and pre-mortem”. He said with his eyes closed as if he was reading off a clipboard.
“C.O.D?” Con said.
“Er cause of death, oh yeah, asphyxia. She was suffocated. You guys think this is a serial killer you’re chasing, did I hear that right?” His voice got high pitched and he cocked up one eyebrow.
“Close enough, why?” Harri said.
“Well” Dole lifted the sheet to look at the dead woman’s face. “I’ve seen a lot of gang violence and a few serial killer type things. ‘Satanic ritual murders’ and all that stuff and this is just weird to me”.
“How so?” Con chirped up.
“It’s just the killing seems very rushed. My natural inclination is someone like this kills because they like it. But this almost seemed like an after-thought like he, or she-”. He looked at Harri and smiled “-just wanted to get it out of the way”.
Harri didn’t say anything.
“She was subdued. I believe with a blow to the head with some heavy object. Maybe a wrench. and there are some scars that may be the result of torture but that doesn’t seem to be related.” He clicked his tongue as he looked at the sheet. “What’s really interesting, forgive me”. He said as he brushed past Harri to get closer to the dead girl’s side. “I’m sure you noticed at the crime scene, one of her arms is missing, we still haven’t found it, in fact. It probably just washed away or an animal took it. But that’s not what’s interesting.” He lifted the sheet again to reveal her remaining arm, white and waxy.
Con’s eyes became wide like someone lifted their skirt and he turned away, a pale shade of wall paper paste.
“You see here, there’s a cut here on her other arm in the same place. Just below the joint, but it’s unfinished, like he was interrupted. Where did they say they found her again?”
Harri was looking intently over the squat man’s shoulders as she answered without looking at him. “It’s unlikely he was interrupted, this was a body dump. She was found near the river in a fairly isolated part of Jurupa.” She paused as she looked at her arm. “He had all the time in the world”.
Only descendants of gods and angels can breathe the air we breathe, and walk the road we tread. Are you such a god?
Hello! I just finished a book called God's Favourite Story , it is a Romance/Mystery novel. . I say God runs a multiplex with infinite number of screens of which he is the sole owner, projectionist and audience. What if yours was Gods Favourite Story? Wouldn't similar things happen again and again?
Here is the Blurb
I might seem new to New York but it’s the same old shitty metropolitan city for me. People don’t care about others as is the case in any major city. Each ... See More person lives in his own cocoon. Let me not talk about others. Today, i will talk about myself. I am a twenty eight year old walking piece of meat in the shady subways of New York. Why would i be here? Well, that’s a long story but New York had really brought out the evilness in me. I am way more evil than i was. I changed my look, lifted my hair up at the front end and sported a goatee. This look i believed was the look for the son of Satan.
I've published the first chapter (possibly only) of a horror short titled 'After Death' I may or may not continue it depending on the feed back I get.
Check it out?
Wasn't sure if it was more horror or thriller, but I'm putting it here anyway.
Ive just edited my story, Abnormal Cataclysm, so added or altered a few things. Nothing major cause the story is the same. I also had to re read the entire thing to make some changes to the grammar errors I left there, so should be able to understand it a bit better. I also added a new chapter to continue from where I started off. Check it out. Lemme know how it looks :)
I'll be working ... See More on some more chapters, so its gonna get better as I progress in the story. So keep an eye on it if you like the story :) Oh and please share and review. I would love some feedback and comments on it.
I’m here for a little reciprocal reading and comment if requested. I’ve been doing this for a number of years now and seem to be better at editing the work of others whilst overlooking the flaws in my own work. Go figure :). If you fancy pointing out a few to me and receiving a little critique in return please get in touch.
The link for Atlantis Reborn is:
... See More />Lost cities, secret societies, Nazi archaeology and Atlantis. Join Dr John Hunter in his unrelenting quest to unveil the hidden and explosive beginnings to civilisation.
Please vote if you like the look of it. I need to stay in the top ten in the GNC!
Hello everyone! My name is Anthony, but my friends and family call me A.J. I started writing when I was in sixth grade after a nightmare about my mom's now abusive ex-boyfriend scared me half to death and inspired me. I published the first five chapters already. Feel free to take a read and give me some feedback. Thank you advance. If you like what you read I will be continuing to publish five chapters at a time as they come and am entering it in the grand novel contest so feel free to vote and ... See More like and give feedback and advice.
Hello everyone!!! My name is Barb. I submitted a horror story this past weekend and I was a little nervous about it. I guess the fear of failing is why it took me 11 years to actually do anything with the story. I shared it because I did not want to wonder what if... one day. So please check it out and let me know what you think. Your opinions are welcome and appreciated. You will find the link below. Thank you in advance.
... See More />https://www.inkitt.com/stories/71125?preview=true&ref=a_c2a04316-40ad-4fdf-ae9a-7f1a46e83897
Hey Inkitt people
I've just posted some chapters up of my crime thriller One By One. More to come soon, if you like suspense, serial killers and twisty plots you might enjoy this one. All comments and feedback appreciated.
Here's the link: https://www.inkitt.com/stories/70014
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