It’s an amazing story. I love the chemistry and the plot is really nice.
Read the story now
But there are few problems with your writing style that you should work on and I am pretty sure that you can. At the end of the dialogue, you should mention the person’s name who said the dialogue. “You should read this book”, Mathew says like this. Also in the first couple of chapters, the dialogues aren’t in quotations which confused me a little. Another thing is that when you finish a scene, don’t move directly to the next scene. Instead, put “_____” or “***” when you want to move from one scene to another. There are also some grammatical errors and spelling mistakes here and there which is not a big problem and you can easily edit them.
Otherwise everything is great. The main thing in a story is that the plot should be good and yours is so keep it up 👍🏻