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How It Works
Hailey Vanisko
Great story with greater potential
(based off the first 4 chapters)
I don't normally read these types of books, but my eye was caught immediately from the summary. You did a good job hooking readers with that summary and enticing them to read more. The plotline itself deals iwth some cliche themes, but what book doesn't? You did a good job at transforming those cliches into something fresh. The characters are introduced well and feel like real humans (and not like Gods who are unflawed). The dialogue between everyone flows well and feels like a real conversation. There were a few grammatical errors here and there, but nothing that detracted from the overall story.
First 4 Chapters Reviw
⭐️⭐️⭐️3.5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
(+) The Descriptions
The descriptions and action scenes were pretty good. I liked that they were a bit nitty & gritty. So good job there.
(+) The Blurb
You did a good job on enticing readers to begin the story.
(-) The Cover
For me, the cover is a bit plain and doesn't really show what the book is about. Despite the old saying "Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover", people do. With this cover, your book would be passed up. I recommend editing a premade or getting one specifically made for you.
(-) The Grammar
The grammar needs some work as it really detracts from the reading. You use << >> in place of quotations, which is odd and it really made me do a double take. I know you mentioned to not worry about those, but I do believe removing those would really make your story 100x better. Also, make sure to run your chapters through a grammar checker, it will really help round things out.
First 4 Chapters
I read the first four chapters and was pretty amazed at just how well it had been written and how I immediately felt connected to J&P. You did a great job showing their personalities & flaws. I liked that the writing flowed well, and that helped to really ground me into the story. There were a few grammar issues, but nothing outlandish. I am definitely going to be coming back to this book & think others should too!
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