I really like your style of writing and of course the story itself. Even though you're only at the beginning I'm already intrigued.
Read the story now
I love how much development the characters already have, I'm a sucker for characters and it's my favorite part of every story so a story like this that focuses a lot on characters is easily going to be a favorite a man.
Some things you could think about is to refer to characters by their name when there are more than two people in a conversation. Sometimes you use "she" a lot and since there's a lot of females in this story it can be a little confusing sometimes. And like basically everyone there are a few grammar mistakes here and there but they're easy to fix with a re-read of the chapters and the help of a grammar checker, I personally use Grammarly.
I hope any of this helped and motivated you to keep writing this story!