H. N. McIntosh

I presume you are of homosapian (commonly known as human) origin. Ah well that's great. Hello to you!

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Average

The chapters are VERY short and I can't really connect to the characters. I'm not that connected to the story that much as of now. I understand there will be some revising but there's not much I can go upon from what I've read.

There are some spelling errors and punctuational errors but I know those might be fixed.

I also don't understand Liam that much, he has a girlfriend but he goes says he likes Noah too. Did he forget he had a girlfriend? I wonder what is going to happen next and how you will build upon the characters and plot.

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Spectacular

The world-building, the development of the characters, the descriptive imagery are outstanding.

I need to read more stories like this.

I'm not even halfway into the story but I enjoyed the chapters I've read to so far.

I appreciate how long the story is because it gives me something to read when I'm bored.

Honestly, It's refreshing and entertaining! Five stars definitely.

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Average

Some of my comments will include sarcasm: (--)

Neutral comments:
-Is Chris supposed to be the main character's mate? (On chapter five)
-black = evil... Out of context, not the best message
-overly "sexual or likes many guys over the course of the book" gay guy as the main character's peer

Positive comments:
-The story seems interesting (if i didn't read a couple other stories relatively similar to this one)
-The eye color changing aspect is very interesting, I like it

Negative comments:
-The beginning is pretty average because the first chapters start off cliche.
-I was confused about the point of view of the story. Is the point of view of story first person or third person?
-The dialogue is also awkward in the second chapter.
-Additionally, the description of the story sounds cliche. I have read many stories where the life of a normal teenage student dramatically changes. What makes this story different?
-I heard about the professors 'pine green eyes' four times in the first three chapters
--Of course the teacher is six feet tall
--It's obviously a given that Chris has to be with the rude female character with a clique of friends who just follow her.
-For uncontrolled telepathic powers, the telepathy seems to be very selective in chapter 5
--The main character had two love interests who happen to be a six foot tall smart dude and a hugely popular jock? Interesting...
-The book cover seems very, very simple - however covers are not my strongest in terms of creating a story
-Have not really heard any character development in the side characters just yet (on fifth chapter)
-Why does she have toned muscles?
--Of course she is half special with a another half of special
Stopped reading at the seventh chapter.

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Werewolves

Minimize your usage of "..." because it seems to split up the story and pull you from the immersion. Try using commas, periods, or breaking the quote and explaining the pause. SO instead of “Hey… How have you been” you could write “Hey, how are you?” or “Hey,” they paused looking at their hands, “how are you?”
Also, don't use numbers, use words. Write it out: "twenty-one" because it helps the paragraph look unified. Instead of the number standing out from a large section of words.
The characters don't seem too different from each other I suppose is why I'm getting them confused. I like how shifters are a natural and normal part of society from what I've read. I disliked how the werewolf society would always be hidden but no matter how hidden it would be there would be werewolves everywhere.
Anyway, I sort of enjoyed the story

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Amazing!

The way you describe their struggle to connect the way they want. Roulette wants to make it work while Will wants to stay the way they re because he still thinks the way he did when they first agreed to marry. A real punch in the gut for me.

The punctuation is on point. I'm not a huge stickler for amazing spelling, grammar, and punctuation but the few chapters I've read have been an experience.

I wonder how the story will unfold now. I can't wait to read the next chapter!

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Amazing!

I like Destiny as a character she seems well rounded although she chose to trust him even when she has been running from people for a while. I like the male lead. They both have a mystery to them which would be interesting to unpack.

However, I would think if she was running from people who wanted to kidnap and or murder her wouldn't she want to keep a low profile and stay away from a lot of people?

Love the story so far though.

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Basic

This story emulates stories I've read before. It doesn't add any different aspect to the cliches of the highschool setting, the bullying, the abusive parenting, the selling of the child, or the one-dimensional characters. There's a backstory for only the main character, the main character's mother, and the love interest. Even then I don't feel like they are actual people. Maybe the story goes too fast.

Plus, I can't hate anyone for their mean behavior because they don't feel like people they feel like mouths who just blurt out mean words. Give the characters more back story to back up their behavior. There needs to be a reason why they act that way other than their crush. Add something no one has really done before. Something you haven't read before in any of the stories you've seen.

The story goes by too quickly and the story lacks in world-building. My imagination is not being used for this story. It is still early on in your story so you can add a lot to this. Good luck!

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Pretty Cool

I like the family dynamic in this story. I like how many of the characters are well rounded and have reasons for their decisions. This is a story that I can read and learn about other people's cultures. I love that the novel includes people from a different country.

However, there are many grammatical errors (I'm guessing English is not your first language)

The plot seems to go by very quickly and I feel as if I'm missing something.

Nice first four chapters!

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Sort of Boring

The characters are average which is fine but the story is average because the characters are.

Draw out the family dynamic a bit with the father. Explain a bit about him or have a scene with her and her father talking about something. He seems to be lonely as well.

I hope the plot dives into a love triangle because that would be typical or very cliche.

Waiting for more!

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Werewolves

I need to read more werewolves stories because I'm confused. The grandmother's story is compelling. I wonder if the entire story is going to be about the grandmother and if not how it will transition out of it.

Too early to say anything else as of now.

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Edit

The large paragraphs need to be chopped up. There are many grammatical and punctuational errors in the story that needs to be fixed.

I like the small bits of backstory for the characters.

Can't wait to see what happens next!

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Average

The characters don't spark my interest. They seem plain,
So far I'm just gonna wait to see what happens.

The descriptive imagery is solid! I like it. The characters, not so much.

Backstory! I would love some backstory for these characters. I love me some fully drawn out characters. Anyway can't wait to see what happens next. Hope it surpasses my expectation. Romance seems overdone. I need a WoW!

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Hmph!

There's not much to imagine in this story. I know its a romance story however the world building is a bit flat. There's not much suspense. I just feel like it's too short.

Their stories are interesting so I am excited to find out more about them however there's not much mystery to it. It sort of falls flat.

Draw out the mystery a bit and add a bit more teasing with the romance. The first chapter started them as strangers and now they are all over each other. I'm not sure if that's just how the world works but my imagination is not flowing that much while reading. Anyway, I do like the two main characters so far.

Lastly, there are some grammatical errors that need to be fixed. Obviously, I'll change my review once I see some changes or developments <3

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More

The set up is awesome. A highly capable woman this time, I need to see more of them.
The long breaks in the story with two or three enters between paragraphs are unnecessary.

The female lead is interesting. I want to know more about her. The dude that was introduced is gonna be really cool to know about. I can't wait to see if more happens.

It's early so I'm 100% sure if the characters are drawn out into real human beings with backed up reasoning and motives, I'll be hooked and this review will definitely be updated.

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WOOOOW

I haven't read the entire thing however I am blown away. The elegance. The descriptive imagery. I love it. I really have nothing to add except some grammar issues need to be fixed. Other than that, your story is fantastic!

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interesting

The plot was interesting however it could have been expanded upon more and the story felt too short. The antagonist seemed too one-dimensional. The back story of the fisherman could have been expanded upon to give more depth about his reason. I like the story however it terms of content it fell a bit short.

A reboot of this story would be amazing. The boy Jacob could be expanded upon too. I love me a good story to read. Also, the time skips were too many for a story with 17 chapters, Anyway, the characters were okay and the love arc was a bit rushed. The plot seemed good though!

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Pretty good

I like the worldbuilding and the characterization of Rys.
I dislike the repeated descriptions of the wolf or how dense the trees were.
However, im very interested in the story so far.

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Cliches

The writing style is dramatic but i like it. It painted a picture of the scene. However, i saw several cliches.

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Pretty good

Like: The writing style and descriptive language
Dislike: There's something I don't like about the story but I can't point my finger on it
Recommend to: I would recommend this story to my sister or a friend
Reason for rating: Some of the grammar or wording is confusing

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Painted Blue

Like: I like the word use and to the point, descriptive language
Dislike: How fast the relationship grew
Recommend to: Other atory writers
Why: The relationship seemed rushed but the characters seem to have some development instead of just being there to push the plot

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Demons bro

There's not much to say. He's the devil and he is soooo powerful yet he can be lied to even though he can tell if someone is lying. The Gabrial aspect is interesting to find out more about.

I'm not really interested in the main character. I don't know what to think about her. She just doesn't interest me just yet. I know she dated him but I'm not getting why she loved him.

Maybe I just need to see what happens next!

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