ℌ𝔬𝔤𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔰 𝔉𝔞𝔫𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔠

& 𝔉𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔠 𝔅𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔰 Horror/drama/mystery are my preferred genres... I follow back! Big horror and fantasy fan👹👺 Aries♈️ Have a good day, pal🤧😌

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Really good

I’m impressed with this plot... it’s so great and intriguing I feel like I could never stop!! I noticed a few things about grammar and stuff but it’s such a small error I doubt it even matters:) I wish u good luck for your future works x

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Pretty good!

It seems like a wonderful story with a nice meaning, but I noticed a few things throughout. First off, I notice you repeatedly change from present tense to past tense and that’s a common mistake with all stories. It’s not a huge deal, but it corresponds with when this happened and if it’s still happening and all that. I really like your descriptive words, however, I think they are really great. I like how I could imagine the scenes pretty vividly and how they were easy to read and focus on(I have trouble with focusing on stories, my mind likes to wander) I think if you just work on trying not switch from past tense to present and back again that this story will end up being great, as it already is!

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Good start

I don’t like reviewing very often because I never know what to say... but I have to tell you this is a very nice plot for an, autobiography, I suppose? (Correct me if I’m wrong)
I really do enjoy reading these types of novels because they are really informative, and you do a great job with informing everything and not leaving out any details. I would say the grammar is a bit off, but even professionals hire editors for that sort of thing. So you’re doing a great job!

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Good

Okay, let me make this short, simple, and sweet.

When you’re writing dialogue, I noticed you write in bold. Why is that? For dialogue I don’t think you need to write in bold. Italic, maybe, if you’re enunciating something, but bold doesn’t do any good.

Second, make sure you write quotation marks at the ending AND beginning of your dialogue. I noticed a few times throughout where it’s just dialogue and then one quotation at the end... there’s also one at the beginning. But it’s a small matter, just a few times I noticed it.

Another thing is that when you’re writing dialogue you tend to punctuate repeatedly. What I’m meaning to say is you add multiple question marks at the end, or exclamation points, whatever it is. There is only need for one, I’m pretty sure. If you add two or three, it seems desperate and most of the time you just need one. Also make sure when you add a comma, there’s a space between the comma and the word after it.
Really all I’m saying with this is the dialogue, so congratulations with everything else it really isn’t a bad book. Good start, and happy to have made this review. Hope you don’t take offense to what I’m telling you, just trying to help you with your future works.

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I completely recommend!!

I really like the way this is written out and normally I don’t like it when authors write little notices at the top of the chapters but with this it actually fits well and I wouldn’t have been prepared for the POV changes unless I read those notices. I really like your style and the way you write, though some of it may be confusing at times, that’s probably just me and my reading skills. I wish you luck for you and your future works and have a grand day x

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Really nice (digital) page turner

While the plot is the cliche college girl meets college boy, I still couldn’t find myself to dislike it how I normally do. The way it is written is so vivid and the imagery is pure perfection, I loved the way we got to see what Dylan was thinking as well as what Amber was thinking in different parts. Catching onto that was a little confusing for me, like going from “Amber thought this” to the next paragraph a few lines below where it was like “Dylan watched her go up the stairs” but I refocused pretty easily.
I was hooked since the beginning when it mentioned Amber had a bruise, I’m easily hooked to books😅 great job writing and I wish you good luck to your future works!

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Pretty cool

I’m gonna be straight up honest. Reading about Janets erotic fantasies about Curtis made me feel disturbed. I don’t think it has anything to do with your writing, but the way she was talking about it made me cringe. (I think that’s what it’s supposed to do though, right?) no hate intended I’m just talking about the character ahaha

Anyway, a little tip: when writing dialogue and imagery, I suggest keeping them separate. For example,
“Hi,” I said.
The room was beautiful, dark crystals dangling from the chandelier.

See how I made them in two different lines/paragraphs? That was just an example, but let me use one from your story and separate them.

I was completely in space, staring at him. Wishing he could just pull me close and kiss him.

“Janet! Are you okay?!” He called.

I don’t know if I made any sense, but that’s basically what I’m trying to say. Also, don’t forget to add the quotation marks when Janet is speaking! I spotted a lot of times where there were no quotation marks and it got me confused ahah but your story is great!

Might I add I love your details and descriptive words, they make the story interesting and an intriguing page turner! Sorry if I’m acting mean, I’m jut trying to help you😅
Good luck with your future works x

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Pretty good

Nice plot, but I should say when writing dialogue, there’s punctuation at the end. For example, “Hello.” And not like “Hello” with no punctuation. Or, “How are you?” Or, “Hi!”
I also noticed a few grammar errors, like how you wrote “know” when you meant “now” but as long as you’re keeping those in mind and not switching from past to present I think you can succeed with this story! Good luck with your future works x

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An intriguing page turner!

I have to say this is a really good plot line for a story. It started off nice where the main character is being introduced, and from there it just started getting better and better! I can’t wait to continue reading this and see where it leads with Ryder, and I wish you great luck for your future works x

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Really good and intriguing!

This is also a great story, along with your others! But this one holds an undeniable interesting main character, which I adore by the way. I noticed a few critiques along the way (trust me, I’m not a very good critic). You repeatedly changed from past tense to present tense, examples: Alijah said.
Alijah says.
(I also don’t know if it’s intentional or not haha) It’s not really a big deal, but like I’ve said in other reviews, it depicts the time of when this was and if it’s still happening, and all that jazz. I’m not saying it’s bad or anything, a lot of people do it by accident (including professionals, hence why they use editors). Anyway, i didn’t read the whole thing but I plan to considering it really is an amazing story from the few chapters I have read!!

Also, not a very big deal, but in the first-ish paragraph of the first chapter, there’s a line that says “Shivering into my feet hit the ground” pretty sure it’s supposed to be shivering until my feet hit the ground, but again I do not want to ruin your story by saying these useless things😅
Have a great day and good luck with your future works!

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Really good!

I am really impressed with your writing skills! The way you describe the imagery makes me feel like I’m there myself. The dialogue is amazing. The plot is very interesting and I can’t wait to continue reading this! Your writing style is just great, and I wish good luck for your future works x

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Good

This is a very intriguing story with a cool plot, but there are a few things I noticed while reading. One, for dialogue, when someone is finished speaking, there’s supposed to be punctuation of some sort at the end. For example,
“Hi, how are you?” Or, “Hi.”
And I noticed you do, “Hi” with no punctuation, but it’s fine!! Not a huge deal, but it sort of depicts the mood.

And capitalization, some words are not capitalized. A few times I saw your “I’s” were not, like you did: i (I’s are supposed to be capitalized considering it is a pronoun) but other than those small errors, nice story and I can’t wait to read more! Good luck with your future works x

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Engaging

I would say this is a very nice plot for a story! I did notice a few grammatical errors and punctuation errors, but if you work on those this story can really go somewhere! The way you write is nice, how you don’t leave out a detail, I’m really engaged in it! I can’t wait to read more:)

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Really good

I usually have some critisicm for people when reviewing but when I read this I couldn’t think of anything besides it’s awesome and I can’t wait to continue it! I highly recommend it for everyone. I love your style of writing, and I can’t wait to see more of your works in the future x

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Really good!

This is a really informative and entertaining thing to read! I really love the descriptive words you use and your grammar and punctuation is explicitly amazing. I can’t wait to continue reading this and good luck for your works in the future x

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Great!

This is really well written, the plot is so fun and entertaining! I don’t usually read on this app (I like writing better) but I find this story so interesting that Ill probably end up reading it to the end! Please make more, and great job!

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Good start

I really enjoyed reading this first chapter! Although I noticed a few grammatical errors, I don’t think anyone can be perfect with those:) I hope you continue to write more as I continue to read more! I’m not the best critic, but I’m just giving my honest opinion. The plot is really enjoyable and leads up to a fine storyline with very lovable characters. Please do not give up on this story, I think it will do great!

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