Just my views on your book!
Hi so I did change my review since I didn't even read the whole thing before hand but now that I did..my views changed.. it's a good start but maybe work on these things.
Read the story now
Normally for songs, the pre chorus and chorus repeat to make it catchy.. so I think it would be nice to work on that.
I realize not all poems rhyme but don't try to force them too just let it flow (I give this advice to anyone who makes poems)
Also I noticed that sometimes you used the same words in the lines of poems.. I notice sometimes it doesn't always sound.. to its full potential when this is the case.
The grammer is very constant and could be better (use commas, periods ect)
Also In some lines I feel like for poems it's necessary for you to move down to a new line after a sentence in the poem.. like I do..
These are just my views and constructive criticism to help you as a writer! If you don't understand some of the things I'm saying, let me know and I'll be happy to help!