Jay S.

Somewhere over the _______ ;)

A NEWbeee 🐝 who loves to read and write short novels (especially β™₯️romance-dramaβ™₯️ themed) (New chapters every SaturYAYY! hehe) PaNcaKESs are amazin! XDD πŸ₯žπŸ₯ž

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A Murder In the Woods

That was a very pleasant short story!😊 The flow of the chapter is very smooth and it felt as if I was watching a scene of a movie. Your writing style is great as well - especially the parts where you italicised! I wasn't quite expecting the cheating part so kudos for catching me off-guard!πŸ˜† I also admired the way you ended the whole story with a question - it showed how the main character felt a tinge guilty of her action and makes the readers wonder what she's gonna do next. Generally, the plot was concise, easy to understand and interesting to an extent. Language wise, I liked the simplicity in your writing without the use of bombastic words! Brushing up spelling (like you instead of u) would further polish your work!

Overall I felt it was a great short story!πŸ˜† Keep writing and Cheers! XD

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Till Autumn

HEYO!πŸ˜† First of all, I just wanted to say I'm extremely happy to have found this book! Your book is seriously underrated and no doubt deserves more likes and reviews! Your storyline and concept is incredible and the way you develop each chapter makes me crave for more!

Your introduction was hilariously good (especially the hiccups), setting up nicely for Miles and Cherry to meet. You conveyed Miles' awkward and shy nature very well and I was already hooked to your story. The story then kicked off nicely with you elaborating very well on Miles situation, struggles and fears! While you painted Mile's father as a controlling parent, I would have loved a better elaboration of the personality of his mother which I felt was lacked just a teeny bit hehe. Anyways, I admired the way the friendship between Miles and Cherry grew (it didn't feel rushed and it was good you took it slow to develop their relationship). The pacing I felt was perfect :). I also enjoyed Zachery's character and hoped to see him more too hehe. The way you organised the events was smooth and makes the story flow well. There wasnt much (or any) illogical scenes as far as I read so great job. Anyways, thats all for story wise and so far its great going!

I guess the writing style and your use of language is what makes this piece of work truly stand out! You are naturally gifted in using words in a witty and hilarious manner. Firstly, I really admired how well your descriptions of places and facial expressions are! Your attention to small details is extraordinary (like the little things Miles admired about Cherry and the description of the rain scene is amazing). These meticulous details help me visualise the scene better and it almost felt like I was watching a movie! Not to mention, your inclusion of Miles mind voice in italics - I found them hilarious and really helps out in character development! Your sentence structure is varied and I liked how you didnt overly use bombastic words or phrases! Dialogues were generally smooth and I guess they played a major role in developing the story! I couldn't really spot much spelling or grammatical errors which is a major plus point. You kept your writing simple which made it really reader-friendly so kudos!😊

Overall, I felt it is a true piece of art, certainly the perfect type of book I would love to read (and write as well HAHA)! Reading your book surely brightened my mood hehe Really interested to find out how it all works out in the end for Miles! You have a natural flair for writing so keep igniting the passion for writing so that many more can take notice of this amazing work! This book has great potential and you truly deserve success!😊 Cheers from πŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯ž XDD

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True Colours

HeyOOzz!πŸ˜† (finally got the time to write the review Hahaha) Firstly, wanted to say a massive thanks for writing this book which is truly exhilarating! Surely one of the most elegant and polished pieces of work I have ever seen in a long time! Couple that with an intriguing storyline and I see all the elements perfectly laid out for a great read! You’re indeed a talented writer and this book is a testament to it!😊

You started off with a hooking introduction, describing the miserable state of Raven with her brother in a terrible condition and honestly, it touched right my heartstrings straight away! Though I found using the perspective of a cat to set the opening scene quite unique which not many would have thought of, I felt it was just a tad unrealistic that the cat had an exceptional level of maturity in thinking (I guess it’s just me but anyways HAHA)! Anyways apart from that, the story did kick off well afterwards with the introduction of the other characters and their circumstances. Perhaps the biggest thing which made me captivated was how well you gelled artistic elements and cats very well into the plot itself. It seemed that you’ve placed equal emphasis on the personalities of cat just as much as the other characters. This explicitly shows how important they are to the story as well! Personally, I felt their presence heartwarming as they added the extra element of liveliness in each chapter. Not to mention the way you used colours to convey different tones, emotions and thoughts truly made the story mode vibrant and added depth to your story development as well. I particularly enjoyed the romantic scenes (cause I love romance HAHA). Another great point was how you took your time to slowly build up on the scenes rather than hastily move on which I felt was very realistic!

Where you shine the brightest is through your language! I guess you have a natural flair for writing and that’s your biggest strength. The writing style you possess is truly sophisticated. Your descriptions are very vivid and elegant, written in a manner which flows well! Your choice of words were apt mostly and I liked how you didn’t use overly bombastic words in your work! Just plain simple English words but the exceptional writing style did the job by beautifying the work! There was a clear attempt at diversifying sentence structures which prevented the work from being monotonous! Dialogues were mostly smooth and were critical in character development as well. While I admired the use of the Japanese, Italian and Spanish words which pretty much elevated the authenticity, I just felt it was overused by including it almost all chapters! (Also after a while, it gets tiring to keep on flipping up and down between the definition and the chapter HAHA) Personally, I feel less is more hehe! I found your quotes at the beginning of each chapter intriguing but I wasn’t sure whether they were put to make the work more aesthetic or they somehow had a link to the chapter! (I guess I’m just dumb HAHAH) but it did capture my attention! As far as I read, there weren’t major spelling or grammatical mistakes so kudos on that!

Overall, I felt it was an incredible work, a nearly flawless piece of writing!πŸ˜† Your writing skills are well above expectations and it is a really good sign of a great writer in the making! On a personal note, I just wanted to say a big thanks cause you were one of the writers whom I was inspired from to continue writing stories and I will be always grateful for your in-depth review of my book (Closely Distant)! Keep igniting the passion of writing and inspiring many more! Cheers from the pancake boy! XDD πŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯ž

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Unexpected Love

YOOZZ! Hehe First of all a massive thankss for making such a wonderful story! 😊 You'e managed to create a storyline which is engaging. The story includes alot of interesting elements (such as the snorkeling part etc.) which highlights your creativity too.

Your introduction to the main characters were casual, lively and really realistic which made me hooked. Your character development is great as well - especially showing the diverse personalities of both the brothers. At some parts, your descriptions really made me emotional (like the part on Viktor's past). Though small parts were predictable, most other incidents made me shocked (like the part Viktor fainted).

What I liked about your writing was that you don't try to overly use bombastic vocabulary and stuff like that! Just plain english written in an informal, casual tone to capture the reader's attention and connect with them! It was this simplicity in writing which I was really fascinated about. I also admired the way you injected the mind voice of the main character at different places which highlighted their personality and helped me to understand their emotions better! The rotation of POV between different characters also helped in the same manner and didn't make the work one dimensional.

Perhaps one area for improvement is by minimising the minor punctuation and grammar mistakes. Sentence structures could have been varied more to further polish your work! I also felt paragraphs could have been better organised (as some are too long)!

Overall, I felt it was a great attempt, well above expectations for someone writing their second book! πŸ˜† Your writing has great potential so please do continue writing! Cheers! XDD

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The Quest To South Africa

Hello again! XDD Just wanted to start off by saying good job on an even better effort as compared to your other book 'Oceans & Seas'!😊

Each writer has their own unique style and theme of their stories and honestly, I am wondering stories about journeys are your thing, your biggest plus point! You're definitely talented in that concept which in itself is creative! For all those who say writing a story about a long car trip is boring, you're work is a clear testament of how life can be injected into this mundane topic by adding numerous interesting elements!

In your typical fashion, you started of with a main character going on a trip with other fellow people and as compared to 'Oceans & Seas', I was more convinced of their choice to take the van as compared to the other forms of transportation. Character development was once again meeting expectations - especially highlighting the obnoxious nature of Gibson which really made my blood boil! Haha When you're readers are able to experience that type of emotions, it really shows you've done a great job! More so than Nova, Charles and Gibson, I really liked Isaac's personality - a very cheerful and amiable guy (really liked the part where he played the bull game) XDD I also found Nova's crush for Charles rather cute! And by the way did you use names of actual places? Because I indeed searched them up and they were REAL! I found it amazing that you used the real name from parks to the smallest shop as it enabled me to visualise the place better. Some of those places were truly breath-taking and it seemed as if I was traveling live while reading your book so thanks for giving that African experience! HAHA

Now of course one area for improvement would be language. The writing style was similar to 'Oceans & Seas' though much more refined with fewer spelling or grammatical mistakes so thats an improvent! Perhaps you could just use quotation marks and add dialogues instead of saying 'person A asks person B if ____. Person B says that _____. Paragraphs could have also been much more organised instead of leaving spaces too frequently! Descriptions of feelings were much more evident in this book though there are room for improvent!

Overall, it was a great, innovative piece of work which got me captivated into this type of genre (travels). I feel a personal connection as well cause my very first book was about a flight travel but it was about hijacking🀣 Cheers once again and please continue writing!😁

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Oceans & Seas

HeyOoO! HAHAHA firstly great job on embarking on a concept that is truly creative! I guess the storyline is perhaps your biggest strength and so first I'll comment about it! :D

Honestly, I haven't seen much people who write about journeys, road trips etc, and let alone events aboard a cruise! So writing about one in itself is a commendable effort!😁 I really admired the way you also used dates as the titles for the chapters which really elevated the authenticity of the events. You've gotten an interesting intro to your story, showcasing the very playful nature of Julian through his pranks. I also understood his feeling of loneliness which indeed touched my heart! Though it might be sweet and caring of the family members to think of ways to help Julian make friends, I found it just a bit unrealistic that they eventually agreed on the cruise idea without further exploring other ideas (apart from the ones suggested by the other family members) hahah but thats okayy:)) I could very much feel the liveliness aboard the ship with the introduction of the many new characters. At first, I felt overwhelmed with the new characters but as the story progressed, the focus shifted to one clique of people which made it easier to follow the story! There are definitely attempts at character development - especially showing how annoying Victor can be through his behaviour and dialogues towards Julian and Julian's caring and playful nature through his treatment of Skylar and his naughty pranks on Victor respectively. I get the main focus tends to be mostly on the trio of Victor, Skylar and Julian but I would love to see more of the members (like what do they like to do, hobbies, How are their personalities, etc.) I could see maturity in your writing as the story progressed (like dealing with issues on sex)! So far, the storyline is not only easy to follow but logical as well! :)) Just the other thing I found it astonishing was how the ship almost had EVERYTHING HAHAHA ranging from a myriad of fast-food outlets to a cinema! Of course the ship is humongous but I just couldn't imagine ALL in one place! hehe

One aspect you can improve on is your style of writing. Sometimes, just the repetition of 'he/she says' can be quite mundane! You can perhaps vary your sentence structure so that its not one dimensional. The use of vocabulary can be further used to replace overused and boring words (e.g chirped, tweeted, uttered instead of said). There could be greater elaboration on the character's emotions and descriptions of objects to further strengthen your writing. Minor punctuation mistakes could be amended to polish your work further! :))

Your story has great potential😊 so keep writing! Cheers! XDD

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Amazing Story!

I really like the way each characters and the events were described in the story. I really admired how the main character's feelings and thoughts were well elaborated. The storyline was interesting and it really felt as if I was watching a movie. I just felt that the ending was abit rushed but thats okay. Overall, it was a nice read. Great job! :))

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Wolf under an oak tree

Personally, I feel the story is interesting and captures the attention of the readers. I especially like the conversations between the characters which makes the setting more realistic and casual in nature. I also like how you include the thoughts of the author here and there. Perhaps one area of improvement is to use the five senses technique to further add depth to your description. Cheers! :))

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Fascinating storyline with great character development. Well done! :))

The story has an intriguing plot and definitely has the capability to attract the attention of readers! I especially like the dialogues and jokes made between the characters which makes it seem casual and realistic. Perhaps one area of improvement is that you can introduce your characters in a more clearer way (E.g putting the name and relation to character) so that it can reduce confusion. Another suggestion is to use the the five senses technique to add further depth in your descriptions of the character's feelings/actions. But overall, It was a great read! Kudos ! :))

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