Jayfeatherrulesgirl

Cool

I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced.

Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine.

Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed.

Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book.

Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!

Cool

I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced.

Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine.

Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed.

Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book.

Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!

Cool

I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced.

Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine.

Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed.

Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book.

Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!

Cool

I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced.

Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine.

Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed.

Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book.

Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!

Cool

I really loved this book and the many changes it went to to get where it is now. I.e, Rebel of the Pride to Dark Mountain, or snow leopards to wolves, yeah. It is overall very well written and advanced.

Now, I must say I did notice a lot of mistakes in your writing. Nothing a swift edit couldn't fix, though. I reccomend installing grammarly into your chrome browser in your chromebook and that would make this pristine.

Also, I feel as if you rushed the first chapter a bit. What you wrote would be about four pages in a real book, and in those four pages some wolf pups snuck out, a deer was killed, a human was found, and Ayza was killed. It just seemed a bit rushed.

Lastly, please, I really do not want things copied from Lost or Broken! I saw you called them Protectors - Ahem? Also light against dark - that is something in both of my books. In Broken, there is a tree of light and dark, conflicting life that Diamond leads on (Chapter one.) And in Lost, the Pack of Whispering Stars against the Pack of Lurking Shadows - a concept shared greatly in your book.

Nonetheless, I will be keeping up with this and I am excited to hear the new chapters!

Very Interesting Read

I have read the first few chapters of this and i was intrigued. I have seen very few books that were seen through the eyes of a dinosaur. Dinosaurs are also a very hard topic to write about, because in reality, we know very little about it. The fact that you attempted to do it was good enough, but you did it in a very realistic style and way that would make me believe I lived in that prehistoric world.

I also appreciated your use of dialogue in this story. I always imagined that if we knew the words of these creatures, it would be "kill, kill, kill," especially from a T-rex mindset. But you presented it that they accepted help when needed and also cared very deeply for their young and mate, and you presented in a way that it was actually acceptable and believable.

Overall I liked this book very much and I hope someday I would be able to buy a copy of it at a store.

(Also, if you would care to review either of my stories, I would be grateful. They only have one-three chapters each, but I would love to see a review from a person who has actually completed a manuscript.)

Have a great day!