JenifryConan

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A promising start.

The plot is gripping and intriguing and the worldbuilding is done well. It's obvious Dunn has put a lot of thought and care into it. Some of the aspects could be revealed a bit slower to increase the mystery, but this is an easy fix if the pacing is slowed.

The story as a whole could be improved with a slower pace and fewer narrators. This would allow Dunn to really focus on really developing out the protagonist and her allies because, at the moment, the story seems too 'busy' so it's hard to attach to the characters. Dunn could also work on showing not telling when introducing new characters. So instead of telling the reader, "We met Dexter/ Victoria this way..." the story would benefit if you show them meeting Dexter/Victoria.

The chapters are updated very regularly, which is a really nice touch! You won't be left waiting for too long to receive a new update. Each chapter is also a good length for Inkitt, so the story is very easy to get into.

Overall, a promising start! A few rounds of edits to slow the pacing and work in showing not telling and 'WYND Academy' has the potential to become a real gem.

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A Clear, Concise and Solid Start.

Review based on Chapters 1-3.

Stewart uses a clear and concise writing style and their sentence lengths are varied, which is a welcome relief. There were one or two paragraphs that were a bit long (e.g. a 28-line paragraph in the middle of chapter 1 and two 22-line paragraphs in chapter 3) but the vast majority were good lengths.

Interesting developments in the plot, characters and worldbuilding. Stewart has a nice foundation to build upon in their later chapters, which I very much look forward to! Overall a fantastic start.

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Mysterious!

(Review based on the chapter 'Forfeit' to the chapter 'Captive: Part 2')

First, let me say I never thought a book with a protagonist with no name could work. 'One of None' proved me wrong! 'No One' not having a name didn't detract from the story at all, especially since there were other key characters without one, such as 'The Man.'

Hanako uses a snappy writing style which I believe works really well but it isn't always for everyone. There are places where it's too choppy but the majority of the time it brilliantly complements the fast-paced plot and shorter chapter lengths, giving the story an intriguing air.

There were a few typos/ spelling mistakes and the writing could do with a slight clean up, but that's nothing a critique partner/ editor can't help with! That said, there are well-polished one-liners in there with terrific imagery, such as "Guilt is your water, it's in your blood."

You can tell Hanako knows how to build mystery and suspense in such a way that leaves their reader wanting more. After chapter 1 it was obvious the girls were suffering yet it's also clear they're too afraid of their captor to seek help or escape.

But while Hanako is brilliant at raising questions, they also don't give many answers. In the mystery genre, it's just as important to answer questions as it is to raise them. If all you do is raise questions without providing many answers, your readers are going to get frustrated fast. I recommend Hanako answers enough of the reader's questions to leave them wanting more because, at the minute, No One's circumstances aren't very clear. The story could also do with a bit more description of the physical world. While it's clear where they are, it's also nice to have a bit of visual imagery to make the setting unforgettable.

Hanako seems to be a master at subtle reveals of character, such as when No One cheats at cards, not for her own gain, but so an innocent man could win. But it's clear No One is a person with lots of compassion despite being in poor circumstances, she's a quick thinker and she's capable of defending herself. Character-wise, Hanako is also brilliant at raising the stakes by hitting the character's where they're at their most vulnerable (brilliantly demonstrated by a character death in either the chapter 'Consequences' or 'Captive: Part 2.'

Overall a fantastic start with lots of mystery, but I'd advise Hanako finds a critique partner/ editor to help them to clean up the manuscript a little.

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