JLAndersonWrites

Fascinating Concept

I think that you have a lot of interesting ideas here but that, for a one shot, it's trying to do too much. The integration of the flashback is probably my favorite part. I would have liked this to focus more on one or two of the big dramatic moments rather than trying to span so much time. You've created beautiful images and I enjoy the world of the story, and I think the characters are interesting people with complex relationships. However, the writing does not always flow as well as it could due to some errors in grammar and some sentence structuring choices. English grammar and conventions are difficult to master, though; keep working at it, and don't stop writing.

Beautiful and Unique

I have never seen anything like this before and I absolutely love it. Some of the descriptions get long and repetitive at times, but I love the world you've built and the plot and the characters. I'm really excited to see where it goes and how the relationships develop. Thank you for writing this!

Transparent

I am not writing this to critique your work. This is clearly very personal, and you've done an admirable job of expressing a lot of feelings. I am writing this to let you know that you are not alone. Sensory overload and uncertainty about what to do with life are feelings I'm very familiar with, and I admire your bravery in writing out those feelings and sharing them with the world. I'm not sure what else to say without falling into the trap of cliche, but if it's any reassurance, I don't think that profit margins ought to define our existence, and whatever you choose to be, you are not nothing. It is enough to just be a person.

Profound

This hit me really hard. My relationship with my brother isn't great, and seeing both perspectives of a less-than-healthy sibling relationship was really emotionally impactful for me. I'm also a huge fan of stream-of-consciousness and more poetic writing styles. Keep doing what you're doing. You have a talent for moving people.

Spooky

Setting and characterization are excellent. I probably shouldn't have read this after dark; it was realistic and suspenseful enough to really creep me out. Excellent work overall! You should do more like this. The only thing I might change is the title.

Mesmerizing

I definitely read the whole thing in one day. The plot is incredibly intriguing and well thought out. I've never seen anything like this before. Occasionally words are misused and there are a few grammar mistakes and confusing sentences, but the plot and characters are so well done that these things are trivial issues by comparison. I would highly recommend this book to all lovers of fantasy, supernatural, and adventure stories.

I want to see where it goes

You write well. The omniscient POV with the switching back and forth might confuse some readers, but I was fine with that. The plot makes sense so far. To me, it just feels a lot like many other werewolf fictions I've read, just better written than most. I really hope that you're planning to take it to a place that's more unique, because it has a lot of potential. I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it.

Unique and Intriguing

I've never read a werewolf story with a plot like this. The characters are multi-dimensional and the world the author has created is unique. I'm really interested to see where this story goes, and I encourage everyone to give it a read.

Surprising

A remarkable tale. The characters are real people, struggling with real issues, which is something I always appreciate, and as far as I cant tell, the grammar and spelling are flawless. At the end of chapter 3, I don't particularly like any of the characters (I don't think I'm supposed to), but I'm desperate to find out what happens next anyway, which is an incredible achievement. I'm excited to see where this goes.