JMDark

J M Dark is a systems engineer by trade (techno stuff), that by night is an inventor, writer, and "tinkerer" who enjoys sharing new and unique concepts.

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Poetic

Imaginative and well crafted.Poetry with cause for thought.

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Imaginative

Very Imaginative and action packed with visions of Bollywood superheros and high moral codes. A fun read for the young at heart willing to suspend their disbelief.

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Lived it

Very good. Enough twists and turns to keep me interested. I'm sorry for Casey, I wanted her to be the one that woke up, but that would be too predictable. Your style is light and free, but some of the colloquialisms get lost on me, too old I guess.
Well done. congrats

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Good beginning

This is an excellent beginning with good character development. The form is a little unusual for a novel, but the basic concepts are good.

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Impressive

This is a very impressive bit of work. The characters seem real and the tension builds to a disturbing reality check. Probably the best work I've seen so far on Inkitt. Well done.

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Unsure

Overall a very good start. I hope you're not upset at some of my comments. I wasn't sure in some cases whether you were trying to be colloquial with some of the grammatical errors. You would perhaps benefit from a good editor familiar with what you're trying to do. It's not easy to know how and when to add colloquialisms to dialog. It can easily go wrong and trip up the reader. The concept is good, though, I had a little trouble visualizing the mine / cave complex and how some of the logistics would work. It might have been better to introduce the bad guy (guys) sooner so that Phil's sudden dislike and hostile actions would seem more normal.

As I said, it's a good idea with imaginative action. I'd like to know how he gets back, or if he stays.

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very imaginative

I hope I haven't been too rough on you with all of my comments. The story was imaginative and moved along well, however, you would benefit greatly by setting all of the grammar and style options on your word processor to active. I think this will help limit the number of simple structural errors. Again, your story was good and the feeling of the main characters was warm, but the frequent misuse of words makes me think that you use the thesaurus feature to find alternative words, but in so doing, you change the intended meaning. Be careful when picking alternatives. The end seemed to come without any resolution but I assume you'll have additional books to carry on the story line. Good luck, and Good work.

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First cut

I've read the first three chapters and overall it is good. Some of the grammar and punctuation could use a little work, but that's not unusual. I'll read more as time permits. Good work

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Excellent Start

I assume you're using a word processor... You might consider setting all of the grammar and style settings active to address some of the passive voice and grammar issues. I also found some of the dialog a bit formal (people don't talk in good English and they use a lot of conjunctions.)

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