K_Belmonte

Nice idea, but execution needs work

To begin my review, I would just like to say that writing a novel is really hard, and I commend the author for writing seven great chapters and for creating an original concept.

Let’s start with the positive feedback:
- The author has created a really nice world for the story to be set in
- The descriptions in the story so far are wonderful
- The author is clearly a creative person, as this seems to be a very original concept with new and exciting characters too

Then the things that could be improved:
- I find most of the writing in this ebook to be very confusing, as it is, in my opinion, too fast paced, and new concepts and characters are just dropped into the plot without much explanation
- The chapters don’t seem to have much continuity and things like the death at the start have not been explained so far.
- Grammar and punctuation as well as writing style can be, once again, quite confusing at times as it almost feels like the plot is being described by someone over-hearing a conversation or seeing something happen through a keyhole; there isn’t much context.

To summarise I would say that the writer has done great on descriptions in scenes and unique characters, but could improve on SPAG, world building, and pacing.

Keep writing!

- K_Belmonte

Emotional story full of developed charactets

I don’t tend to be one to really “go” for wolf/alpha novels, but I actually really enjoyed this one, and read all the chapters so far in quick succession. One of my favourite features was the lovable cast of characters (apart from the evil ones - who were particularly dislikeable)

In general there isn’t really anything to discredit this story, as so far I haven’t found any grammatical or punctuation errors, and the writing style is very smooth and professional.

Overall I would really recommend reading this - and I will update this review as the story goes on :)

Jasper in January: A unique read

Jasper in January is a delightful read with a unique and professional writing style that I would recommend to any who is a fan of drama/romance/mysteries for the following reasons:
-Grammar/typo errors are minimal
-chapters have good cliffhanger endings
-all writing has a slick, professional feel to it
-and the plot is mysterious and interesting.

Answering the author’s questions:

Things I am interested in knowing about my story, are there any parts where your interest dropped off, did you find its pacing good, or did any parts of it drag for you? Are you able to keep up with the storyline, though I am jumping within a five-year time span? Are the timestamps enough for you to keep these clear? Or do I need to do more? Who do you expect to end up with who?

I didn’t really find that my interest dropped off at any point as the story was quite consistent.
I was able to keep up with the storyline just fine and I found that the jumps made for a more interesting story.
I’m not sure who I expect to end up with who - I’ll have to read more to find out!

My one piece of advice for the author is that perhaps making chapters less long would be a good idea.

Really new and exciting read!

This may sound sycophantic, but I really can't find anything particularly bad to say about this story!
-The plot is original and interesting.
-The dialogue is realistic and helps to establish characters
-The writing style and grammar is practically flawless
-The characters are comedic, unique, intriguing and well developed
-The world that the story is set in is well thought out.

My one suggestion is that the front cover should be edited so that we can see the full picture!

Aside from that though, I would truly recommend this story to anyone.

Great idea and characters.

Before I begin my review, I would just like to point out that even coming up with an idea for a novel, never mind characters etc, is really difficult, and here, the author has not only done that - but also written a total of ten whole chapters! That is certainly no mean feat, and for that I congratulate them.

Now onto the review:

Things done well in this story:

So far, some of the main things that have really impressed me in this story are:

.THE CHARACTERS: All of the characters in this story are unique and well developed. One of my personal favourites is Julie. The main character, Sienna, is also complex and interesting.
.THE DIALOGUE: The dialogue in this story is realistic and never forced or awkward. I can always imagine real life people saying the things that the characters do.
.THE FRONT COVER: This may seem irrelevant, but having a good front cover can be monumentally important in attracting new readers.

Now, some things that need some work:

THE USE OF THE PAST & PRESENT TENSE: Although it is a small detail, making sure that when using the past and present tense writing is always clear and coherent is very important to the success of a novel. This is something that the author should work on, and may benefit from having another person read through their chapters.
GRAMMAR IN GENERAL: This is not uncommon on Inkitt and I know that I have issues with this as well, so it is not that big a deal.
PACING: Once again, this isn't a major issue, but perhaps the author could consider slowing down the pace in some of the chapters as it is important that a story shouldn't feel rushed.

UPDATE - Many of the issues I have mentioned previously have been resolved, I've left them there just to show what a great job the author has done by fixing all of these in their chapters.

Overall, really great job on this story, and I hope that CK Black (the author) keeps writing!

dungeons and dragons 🐉

Before I start this review I would just like to say that I don’t really understand Dungeons and dragons and I have never played it before so if anything I criticise in my review is wrong because of that then I apologise.

One of the main problems in this story is just plain grammar. It feels like the author rushed writing this, as there are so many grammatical errors at times it can be difficult to read through the chapters. Stuff like ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ are confused, there are missing commas everywhere, spelling mistakes, this story just generally feels like it’s a first draft, and it would really help improve my rating of this story if the author could fix these mistakes.

Secondly I just wasn’t invested in this story particularly, and I think partly this is owed to the fact that I have never played dnd before so I can’t really get into the minds of the characters. I just didn’t enjoy reading it that much. Nothing really happened in the first few chapters, and what did happen I was normally pretty confused about. Often, I would find when I was reading it my eyes would slip over large chunks of text and I think this is why I didn’t understand what was going on half the time. I kept forgetting who characters were, for example I had no idea who Brad was, and this really took away from the experience. This might just be me though again as I haven’t read a dnd story before or played the game.

More generally, it didn’t really feel like the story was building up to anything, and when big things did happen they were kind of out of the blue. One of the main examples of this I can find in the text was when the whole thing with Brad and the meth happened. I had no idea that there was this whole weird dynamic between Grant and Brad, because I’m pretty sure the author hadn’t mentioned it before. That whole scene felt jarring and random and then it got pretty much instantly resolved as far as I read up to. And then there was that weird mention of Brad being queer or something? I didn’t really understand what was going on for the whole of chapter 6.

Okay anyway so thats enough complaining about this story, I’m going to try and provide some positive feedback as well.

One of the most redeeming features of this story was dialogue. Most of the time the dialogue between characters - both in real life - and in dnd wasn’t wooden and felt fairly realistic.
The action sequences were also well written and quite exciting to read. I like the beginning of the story when the characters describe who they are playing as in the game.

So overall it would really help if the author could fix the grammatical errors in this story and maybe get someone else to read through and make sure it makes sense to improve future ratings. I encourage the author to keep writing as they certainly have an interesting idea for this story and it has potential.

Sorry for the is chaotic review!
-K_Belmonte

Great start

I don’t normally enjoy werewolf books but somehow you have made me care about these two characters and their stories.

Your story is beautifully written, with no grammatical errors and great character interactions, and I felt like I had to continue onto each new chapter!

I really liked your characters and their different perspectives and I would be interested in knowing what happens next.

I hope you keep writing because you have got the talent!

Twisty

Enjoyed thoroughly reading this, nice descriptions of setting and characters, I felt fully immersed in the protagonist’s head! Also Love the twist at the end!

Heartwarming

Heartwarming short story with realistic dialogue and intriguing writing style. I really enjoyed taking a moment to read the ‘Midnight Train’ and it is nice to see that is of the usual high standard of this writer.

The last heir

Interesting story with a great writing style and few grammatical errors. The characters are realistic and have chemistry with each other. My only suggestion is to shorten the chapters a bit to keep up engagement

Good

Soulmate is a heart racing thriller that keeps you on your toes the whole way through the story. It is a little on the short side, but the nail biting plot ensured that you are never bored when reading.

The story begins after the murder of Sadie, the best friend of the protagonist, and follows the story of how the protagonist then, despite danger, and without police help, solves the murder.

Almost every chapter leaves you on a cliffhanger, waiting to learn more, which is perfect for this kind of story. The cast of characters are also really fun, and it feels like, even though Sadie is dead throughout the story, we still really got to know her. On top of this, another thing I lived was the authors addictive writing style. The beautiful front cover is the icing on the cake.

The only thing I have some problems with is the pacing, it feels like everything happens very quickly and Maddy solved the case really quickly. I feel like more information could be given on ‘Jamie’ and the ‘Boss’ for example if they are part of a gang or mafia and that is why they kill these little girls? Or are they just sickos. Overall the plot just feels a little simple.

Anyway - I really hope you write a sequel because I would definitely read it!!

Thoughtful poems - a nice read!

Because this ebook is a collection of poems, stuff like the plot etc can’t really be rated, but the writer has done a really good job here for the general goals of writing!

The structures of the poems are very clever and vary, at no times the structure got in the way of the read.

The themes of the poems are well chosen, and show maturity and thoughtfulness in the way that they are presented. Also, no two poem in this collection is about the same thing, it can range from poetry about the world around us to more abstract concepts such as beauty.

Overall, if you’re a fan of poetry and contemplating life, wings and paper is for you!

Amazing job - please read!

I have absolutely nothing to fault in this story! So much fun to read, and the plot is really well paced!! The descriptions are vivid and wonderful and I could imagine every scene clearly.

Please read this book if you’re interested in the genre - you won’t be disappointed!!

Good foundations, formatting needs some work.

As of right now, when they are 4 chapters + 1 prologue, this story is going to receive a 3 star review from me. This is due mainly to the too widely spaced paragraphs, missing commas, and capital letters in the wrong places, that take it down a star. Otherwise, it would be a solid 4 stars, and has the potential for five if you could slow the pacing down, and put in a few more descriptions. That said, this story isn’t without merit. I liked the descriptions at the start, of the monster, and the sinister atmosphere in general. It would just really help if it all could be slowed down a little bit, and the chapters shortened, as it feels like both a lot, and nothing happens for long periods of time.

Anyway, I hope you keep updating your chapters - I’m intrigued to see where this goes.

Great job!

A very well written and thoughtful short story. Great ending and beginning, I was intrigued from the start - you had me hooked - I couldn’t take my eyes of the page

The Perfect YA dystopia novel

I have had to think a lot about how to start this review on this particular book, because - wow - there is no other word than just wow 🤩 for how to describe what the author has done with Awakening: The ALPHA generation. I have just not seen a story of this quality on Inkitt for a while, perhaps not ever. The premise is so original and the character building so complex it is astounding. There are so many aspects to compliment the writer on that it is really hard to even begin.

(( this review is going to be very long - so if you’re looking for a quick verdict on whether or not you should read this book then the answer is a definitive YES and also I recommend reading right to the end - you won’t regret it!! ))

Nevertheless, I have to start somewhere, so I’ll start with the characters:

All the characters in this novel are either very likeable, very dislike-able, or somewhere in between according to the needs of the plot and development. However I’m going to focus on just a few of my favourites for a more in depth review.

(Warning - contains MAJOR spoilers)
1. Natalie Spearse: Natalie is,in my view at least, the major protagonist of Awakening: the ALPHA generation, as the majority of chapters are written from her perspective. I really like Natalie as a character, she is very determined and emphatic as well as passionate, both about those she cares about, and her rebellious cause. She receives a lot of character development throughout the novel, especially after other major character deaths and when she finds out about the truth about the redeemers. She does have a few Flaws ( pun intended ) like ever character ever, including slight naivety and letting emotions cloud her judgment, but these help the plot grow, and enhance the story. The ending with her mother is a nice addition too.
2.ALPHA: For an AI program created but evil murderers, ALPHA’s chapters are actually quite often an emotional read, leaving me almost always completely confused as to whether I symphasise even with ALPHA or not. Even when a chapter isn’t written from ALPHA’s perspective it is still constantly being discussed, considered, and developed. What I also like, is how ALPHA never once considers that it could be the one in the wrong or that it’s cause is wrong, perhaps unable to see outside of its code. This is a nice touch.
3. Darren: This might be a surprise to any other readers who have read the story the full way through, but Darren is quite possibly my favourite character, for no other reason then that he is so, purely, despicable and borderline psychotic. I love the twist regarding him, I always had an iffy feeling about Darren but the way it is revealed is absolutely perfect, and I feel awful for Nat. Some of my favourite moments are also after the twist is revealed and Nat and Darren have some dialogue together, and it is revealed just how evil he really is, as he attempts to exploit his own sisters worst fears and torment her. Other writers take notes - this is how you write a good villain!! 🖤
4. Xander: I absolutely cannot write about the characters on this book without mentioning Xander *sniffs* 😔. Right up until his death Xander is always developing in his character. He is always wanting to help others, and even in his last moment she manages to do just this. The bird song metaphor is also beautiful, and I love how it is reflected on later in the story.

Plot: Now that I’ve discussed the characters I’ll move into the plot.
The plot of Awakening: The ALPHA generation is just absolutely brilliant full of wonderful side plots, from Nat losing her life savings to the Truth to The Spearse family’s backstory. Towards the end of the book, I found myself racing through the chapters just to see what happened next. I also didn’t find that anything move too fast or too slow at any point.

Writing style: Easy to read and clever the writing style in ATAG is yet another winning feature for this book. Quite often I have a fairly limited attention span when it comes to ebooks on Inkitt, but I didn’t find that particularly with this,and it felt like I was reading a published novel by a professional author. Paired with the realistic dialogue and wonderful descriptions, Awakening: The ALPHA generation becomes an unstoppable force.

World building: the world building in this book is the best I’ve seen ever before on Inkitt. Before you even realise it, the author has casually explained an entirely new society to readers so smoothly it’s like we’ve known the facts about the bloodletting and cleansing about whole lives. I also loved the addition of new technology such as Clikbooks and the ‘Cliking hobby’. Again, so professional!!
I just think perhaps the author could add a few more details about how thing work and more details about the past.

Things to improve on: There isn’t much to fault in this novel, but I would just recommend checking over a few typos and grammar errors and perhaps a bit more of a resolution to Nat’s possible feelings for Gray as it kind of felt like that was just forgotten about, although I do congratulate you for the general lack of romance as a filler.

Anyway, overall I’m so impressed with this story, and I can’t wait to see what else the author has written!

Bye! :)

Thoughtful and beautiful

Only one chapter but this book of poetry is already so perceptive and thoughtful about current world issues. The verses are unique and varied too. You might want to adjust the structure slightly, but I quite liked the way the poem followed a kind of bleak train of thought. Obviously, I can’t review the plot etc properly because it is poetry and there is only once chapter, but great work.

Good structure, characters and creativity - world building and grammar need some work.

Although this story is not yet complete, it is off to a good start. I like how it changes the perspective between the two characters Blaze and Davinah, as it makes for a more complex plot.

Things that work well in this story are:

THE SETTING- The Ordic empire is an interesting setting for this story, and is described beautifully - although it would be nice to have a bit more world building to learn more about it as a place.
DIALOGUE- The dialogue is uniquely tailored to each character, and is often realistic.
CHARACTERS- Characters are intriguing and plentiful.
THE TITLE - The title is very unique and intriguing, and sums up the themes of the story well.
Things that could be improved:

as mentioned before: WORLD BUILDING - perhaps in future chapters the author could provide more details about why there is slavery and oppression, and perhaps anyb other empires or kingdoms nearby?
PACING- At times it feels like the plot can be quite rushed through or a little bit confusing.
GRAMMAR: Not a major issue, but it would be nice if the author could perhaps get someone to read through their book and fix any grammar mistakes - in particular the past and present tense can be confused sometimes.
THE SYNOPSIS/SUMMARY - once again, this is not a major issue, but it might benefit the author to have a longer, more descriptive summary so that readers know more what to expect.

Overall, it is a nice read, and I would recommend in particular to fantasy fans.

The usual high standard of this author

As usual with tris author, His one Rule is fun to read and has a smooth writing style.

Dynamic between all characters is realistic as is dialogue.

Descriptions are fun and interesting.

Recommend to romance and drama fans

Fun read

So I read this a while back, and enjoyed it quite a bit. I didn’t finish it, but will try to soon. Just now I have realised that I didn’t actually leave a review so I’m going to do it now!

The romance and dialogue in this book is really great, as is the pacing and writing style. All of it is just really smooth, and it interested me even if it isn’t the type of thing that I would usually read :)

All in all, would recommend to any and all romance fans!

Love behind the masquerade

This story is based off an interesting concept, but needs some work on the more technical aspects.
I would recommend this to any romance or drama fans - as it is really original and a lovely read.
Things I did like about it include:

CHARACTERS
DESCRIPTIONS IN SCENES
PLOT
ENDING

Things that I would recommend the author working on include:

PUNCTUATION
COHERENCY
GRAMMAR
WRITING STYLE IN GENERAL

Overall though, I really congratulate the author for writing 11 whole chapters in a novel, which is a really difficult thing to do! As well as this, the plot was complex and joyous and heart breaking at the same time! Keep writing :)

Public Bus

This story is based off a lovely concept, and the writing style is amusing to follow at times. There is also a really clever repeated metaphor through the two parts so far of a ‘smile full of optimism’ that works really well with the theme. The front cover is nice too.

The writer however, does need to watch out for grammar errors, and wordy sentences as at times it can sometimes be hard to read because of these.

Notwithstanding that though, I would recommend it to any fans of drama or comedy novels!!

Very good characters and wholesome story but a little bit of work needed in grammar and clarity.

This isn’t the type of book I would normally read, but so far has been an enjoyable and fun experience keeping up with Layla and her family.

Let’s start with the good things:

.The chapters are a nice, readable length so readers don’t get bored halfway through or frustrated with the length

.The writing style is understandable and it is easy to understand the protagonist, Layla, and understand why she feels the way she does and I think it is clear from the beginning what kind of a person/character Layla is and the writer keeps this consistent throughout

.The emotive writing is good as you feel sorry and happy for the character when things go right or wrong for them.

Now to the areas that could be improved:

.The grammar/punctuation isn’t always the best, although this is a minor issue

.The continuity between chapters could be improved as it is not always clear how much time has passed, or things like I think at one point a character woke up twice or something along those lines

. Clarity/ making it clear who is being referred to in paragraphs + making it clear what a persons name is

I know that’s a lot to unpack so sorry about that-

Overall though, it’s very impressive that you’ve written as many chapters as you have and writing a novel is soo hard and you’ve already got me hooked in only a few chapters, so well done!!!!

Looking forward to seeing updates, so keep writing 😊