L. Blackfish

A-MAY-ZING!!

I love it so much omg!

I’m such a harsh critique everything I read I’m INSTANTLY dismissing it because I got irritated with disorderly grammar and spelling or tense switching, ugh tense shifting gets under my skin so badly.

But your writing is good! Your grammar, spelling, punctuation and vocab are great! Your dialogue is FANTASTIC (with dialogue being my greatest weakness I always notice when someone has a good, realistic flow to character convos!!) And the overall premise of your story is captivating.

Also, you don’t use repetitive words or phrases and the way your sentences and descriptions flow together is organic and something most writers on here are lacking.

I can’t wait to read chapter 2 and meet Vladdy!!

Emotionally gripping

Yay, I think this story is just so cute!

As much as I write horror and adventure and utterly grotesque things I’m still a girl and deep down we all secretly enjoy a tear jerking love story.

I love how magnetizing the characters are! Like, honestly I don’t read much of this genre and I was still drawn into the story because I was interested in seeing where their relationship would go!

Things to watch out for is switching between tenses. Pick one then go through and make sure it all matches up.

Also, I really don’t think you should tell us in the synopsis that Joel is going to get cancer. I think you should leave it more illusive because it will hit us so much harder to fall in love with these characters and then have it dropped on us that one is dying.