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Overall Rating
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Solid start

The author does a good job of creating an alternate universe quickly and effectively in the first chapter. The reader easily gets sucked into the story and identifies characters. It assumes the reader knows what is happening in the right places and doesn't reveal too much information to early in the chapter. The writing style could benefit from more active language by replacing passive verbs with active verbs to keep up the momentum of the story. A little more sensory detail (sight, sound, etc.) might also help the reader experience the universe and the story more fully.

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