Little Hermit

Land of Sleep

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Well....

First i'd like to start with the positives about this book.

Characters:
I can see that you've put planning and effort into the personalities and backstories of E, Eli and Lily. The whole concept of E being the queens daughter and the fact that she is Eli's second chance mate is amazing and really engaging.

Plot:
I absolutely love the plot. it's really engaging and never gets boring. I especially loved the whole part with E receiving the letters and having to find out who they were from.

Writing style:
Your writing style is really good. The book never gets boring and there's always more being added into the plot. I really liked the way you made it obvious that King Richard had something against E from the beginning. the way you wrote made me want to read on because it makes the reader feel that they absolutely NEED to find out what he's thinking and why he doesn't like E.

Now i'd like to finish off with the negatives in this book.

Title:
Why is the book called Alpha Elijah when the book is about E more than it's about him???
Characters:
1. Some of your characters could have been developed a bit more. it seems that you only really focused on developing your main characters. Yes, it may seem to you that the side characters or the characters that don't have that much of an important roledon't need to be worked on because they may not contribute that much, but you should at least work on bringing out their personalities more because James, Tyler, Roan, The others in the royal guard and Alpha Mason are almost like the same person, their personalities are almost exactly the same and they all have the exact same mannerisms which can get quite annoying.

2. In the positives a said I liked the personality of Eli, but I also have conflicting thoughts about it. I understand that he lost his mate to rogues so he didn't want to believe that E was really his second chance mate because they were very rare, so he was rude and didn't want her and I liked that but as he gradually began to fall for her, you lost the ruthless side of him a bit to much he began adopting the same mannerisms as James, Tyler and the guys which I didn't like so much because there are other ways you could have him express his feelings for her and that links back to my point about a lot of the characters being kinda the same which made the characters a bit boring.

Plot:
I said that I loved the plot and I really do, but again I have conflicting feelings about it.

1. First of all, what was the point of having E argue with Eli about Tyler going along with them to the other pack? I understand that she didn't want to talk to him at first because he and the others new about Eli's previous mate dying and such, but after that passed she didn't spend any time with him at all and he didn't really show up. I thought that was a bit annoying because the whole point of Tyler going along to the pack was so that E had someone she could still have someone who was familiar around her.

2. Secondly, The part with Aisha challenging E for the right to be Luna of the pack and Eli's mate was okay, but it didn't really add to the plot and wasn't necessary to have in the story. I feel like at that part of the story you weren't sure what to do so you just added in that because you were struggling to come up with something relevant to the plot because it was very confusing and the Aisha hurting Lily bit didn't make sense. It doesn't make sense because wolves are very proud and they wouldn't use low blows like that when it's against the rules, especially since Lily is Eli's child. If Aisha really wanted to be Luna of the pack she wouldn't have hurt Lily because she'd want Eli's respect not his hate.

3. Third of all I think the pace of your story moves a bit too fast. i feel like you rushed things between E and Eli.

4. Lastly, it seemed like the book had been really rushed in the end. it was as if the writer didn't know what to write anymore and gave up on it. the write really hyped up the fact that there was going to be a war and that the king wanted to get E so he took Lily instead. That was amazing but it was really disappointing when the writer didn't go through with the plot by ending it with E and the king meeting. the writer built up the book so that we wanted to see the massive battle that was going to happen. we also wanted to see how E would get Lily back and take down the king, but it never happened. If i were the writer i would have either continued the book or made a second book that continues with the story.

There are other criticisms i have about this book but this is enough.

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*Shakes my head*

You can't change Mythology, after all some people actually believe in the Greek gods. they are called Hellenic polytheists. if one of them read the book they would be mortified. Persephone was/is the daughter of ZEUS god of the sky and Demeter goddess of agriculture, therefore Persephone is the goddess of spring. No where in mythology does it state that her father was a werewolf. She is a GODDESS and that is that. In all versions of her story she is described as a WOMAN not a child. There are two accounts of the story but in neither was Demeter happy that her daughter had been taken. I'd read them and rethink the story if i were you. https://www.greekmyths-greekmythology.com/myth-of-hades-and-persephone/

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This is good! >.<

I really like this! the way you write is wonderful and your poems are utterly unique. I've enjoyed seeing words I haven't seen before and finding out what they mean. This is definitely a collection of poems i'll keep on reading.

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Great so far!

I really like the way the writer has written the book. It's easy to understand and its been written to make the reader want to continue. I love the magical element in the book and I like the fact that it hasn't just been put there for the sake of it, it really blends in well with the story. It's really interesting that the Enforcers are the king's daughters and Eleanor immediately attracts the attention of the reader by being completely different from her siblings. I look forward to reading on and finding out why Andorra dislikes the Blakemores and why Eleanor is so different from the rest of her family. Keep up the good work!

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