Y.B

Great Story

i really the meaning and plot behind this story. it greatly expresses what has been happening for years and even now. it was sad but it had it's heartwarming moments.

a few tips, i think that you should break up your paragraphs more because they are a bit much (two paragraphs made into one) that way it won't too jumbled but other than that, i liked the story. big thumbs up.

Interesting

I really like the way your words flow. It makes the reading experience engaging and the plot of the story is very interesting and new. Your characters are also very interesting and relatable and make the story even better. Your story is great.

Really Good

The story is really good. I can’t wait to read more. I like your writing style and the characters are very mysterious in a way. Keep it up!

Intriguing

The plot of the story is very interesting. it makes you wonder what exactly is going on. The only thing I would say is that you should break up your paragraphs more so they won't become a big long mesh of words. Also watch out for some of your grammar a bit. Other than that keep going, It's a cool story.

Good Start

I can see you have a clear idea of what your story is going to be but also I can as well, the plot in itself isn't bad but the events and direction are very predictable. but this is just the first chapter so you have a lot more time and room to twist this into your own.

Also your paragraphs are very packed and jumbled together. maybe you could separate your dialogue from your paragraphs so they don't look so cluttered. This is just the start so keep going and I'm sure you'll get better.

Writing is hard but the best thing you can do is continue with your story and improve on it in a way that makes you happy and others will enjoy it as well.

The Courage To Be Vulnerable

i really liked the way you wrote about this first maybe real love? It really stayed true to the title so i hope you can continue without feeling the need to be on guard and just express yourself. If i had to constructive I could say may you can be a little less lenient on your sentence structure.

Cancerian abelful angel

I don't really dislike anything, more so that the grammar could be better as it hard to interpret what's being said. The plot seems really promising and would be a great backbone for a story and a heartwrencher.
I chose this rating because their are this that could be improved on but it's mainly just the wording of things but other than that I think if you work hard and write from you heart it'll turn out good.