Martin Lundqvist

Sydney

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Decent story

After an uninspiring generic prologue, the plot gets better as it follows a young magic girl and her mother escaping an evil empire.

Overall a coherent and readable story.

My suggestions for improvement would be to perhaps shorten the chapters for the inkitt version. With reading apps like inkitt I prefer many shorter chapters to read on my commute etc and shorter chapters help.

Also some of the descriptions feels redundant, I.e. someone is wearing a steampunk outfit. The plot takes place in a steampunk setting so either describe the outfit if it matters to the plot or don't mention it all.

The editing and language is what you would expect from a text on this platform. What I personally have started using recently is the read aloud feature in my word, to spot mistake when I am writing.

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