maxniederhofer

No published stories yet

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great but show me, don't tell me

Kara,

I loved this. The one suggestion I would make is to show me, don't tell me. E.g.

"Now look at your skin / It is beautiful / You are beauty pure."

It might be better to use more evocative imagery and language to make me feel, i.e. truly comprehend, the pure beauty, rather than telling me it is beautiful.

My two cents - keep writing!

Max

Read the story now

No badges received yet

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.