M. B. DeMoor

Feels like I'm reading an RPG

Okay, so this is the first time I've come across a book like this on Inkitt. I don't even know what genre I'd list it as. Maybe fantasy/comedy? It reminds me of those quirky shows where the characters are introduced through goofy freeze frames while the narrator tells you a fun fact or two about them before introducing the rest of the group. When I saw the first chapter I was a bit hesitant because I thought, "oh no it'll just be a bunch of exposition" and while it technically was, it was written in such a way that made it engaging and interesting. And to be honest, necessary. I knew what cram was from the start and it wasn't overly boring-complicated-lore-dumping exposition. It was fun. Not to mention, the characters are all very well written and it's clear that they don't take themselves too seriously. It's a very easy read and with only six chapters I completed it in less than a few hours, but I'm really looking forward to more! It honestly felt like I was reading an RPG or playing D&D in a way, especially in the last chapter with the action sequences. It would be so interesting to hear this book as an audiobook for that exact reason. It tied in elements of a novel, normal description and dialogue with sprinkle of casual gamer-oriented writing. As a gamer myself, it all made sense. I think that someone who's not a gamer might not get the references as well, but you never know! Looking forward to more :D

Daughters of Eve

I think this story has so much potential! I am looking forward to reading more. There's only two chapters right now, so I'm only basing this off of the very beginning, but from what I can tell this story has a lot more going on that meets the eye. I feel like our main character is already very well fleshed out and we get a good idea of the stakes, including the way she thinks about her brother and his paranoia in general. It seems like a very toxic environment and I'm really excited to see the author's world building in future chapters. The grammar and punctuation needs work, but that can be easily amended through editing and more reviews/beta readers/suggestions. Some of the sentences read a bit choppy, but I also realize that they may be written that way to mimic Agitha's anxiety and quick thinking. I was really pleased that the author was consistent with the tenses in the story so far- I've noticed that a lot of authors struggle with present-tense narration and frequently slip into past tense without realising but I noticed consistency throughout the first two chapters. So far, the chapters are really short and could probably be combined but that's also just an observation, as the author might have separated them for narrative reasons. All in all, the synopsis really pulled me in and I'm really interested to see how this story develops!

I was hooked!

This is definitely a binge-worthy story! Brian does a great job with the narrative, weaving in Mason's thoughts, almost making them your own. At first, I thought, "This is a typical plot, man moves to small town to make a new start since he has a dark past" but man, this story was NOT cliche and had the perfect amount of spook with a little sprinkle of steamy. I thought the characters had very in-depth personalities, writing and relationships. Not once was I bored whilst reading this. Incredibly well written, engaging story worth reading from start to finish.

I was a tad confused at the beginning, but I've since realized that Brian left us clues before the first chapter that made a lot more sense later. So if you are a bit confused at first, keep reading. It'll be worth it.

I only saw very minor grammar mistakes like a quotation mark missing or something small like that, and any mistakes that were there were scarce. I thoroughly enjoyed this spooky story and I'd recommend it to anyone interested in the horror or suspense genre!!

A perfect story for a historian like me!

As a historian and Roman history enthusiast, Decimus: Rome's Wolf was something I HAD to read when I found it on Inkitt. Gabriel has clearly done their research in this book, and I was thrilled to find a book set in this time period. It is not very common, at least not from what I've seen on Inkitt. I want to note that there were a few grammar mistakes and typos, and the flow of the writing is sometimes choppy. However, this is easily fixable and did not deter from my enjoyment of this story at all.

We are taking back to the second Punic War when Gabriel slightly alters history and gives the victory to Carthage denying Rome their real-life domination over Carthage. In this alternate reality, Carthage lets Rome continue on as "normal"....at least on the outside. With nothing to lose, the Decimus leads us on a path to war...and it isn't pretty. I've read up to chapter 10, which is the last chapter posted so far and I must say, it leaves on somewhat of a cliff-hanger so I am very much looking forward to seeing what happens next. I would say "I know what happens next, I've studied Roman history" but that's the beauty of historical fiction. We know...but we also don't!

I would highly recommend this story and I am looking forward to the release of new chapters. Outstanding work!

Great start

You are certainly off to a great start. This book is still in the beginning stages but I am getting "Timeless" vibes from the whole, top-secret time traveling situation. I love the concept of time travel so I am hooked already! Your prologue really pulled me in and intrigued me. How did we get there? I'm very eager to find out!

Your MC is hilarious, her sarcasm and inability to keep it all in, in front of HER BOSS was insane to me and I was chuckling at the narration and sarcastic undertones. You really set a great foundation here with interesting characters, particularly Rhys who I can't wait to see more of.

I did not see any grammar or technical issues in these first few chapters, so great job on that! I thought the story flowed really well and I didn't feel bored nor did I feel like the story dragged on. I genuinely enjoyed this short ongoing project. I'm going to add your book into my "reviewed but ongoing" reading list so I can be kept up to date with new chapters! Please, keep writing!

Waiting to turn the pages of this novel!

I will try my best not to ramble on too much in this review but WOW. Kim's imagination is one of the most extensive, creative and wonderfully put together in this novel. I am blown away by the writing, the characters, the lore, mythology and everything else Kim managed to put into a single book. It's literally a whole other world in just a few pages and I can't begin to express how much I enjoyed this story.

We're taken to Barathorn and Evertheen, land of the humans and throne of the gods. Extensive lore stretching back thousands upon thousands of years is explained to us throughout the story, and Kim does an excellent job of both showing and telling the details of the world and the lore. At first glance, just based on the summary, you might think it's a romance between the moon goddess Serafinn and the human she's noticed...but this story is so much more than that. It has romance, adventure, politics, mythology and action. Even the gods/goddesses have flaws and I found myself relating to some of their plights as a mere mortal.

Accompanied by a map, family trees, images of the gods/goddesses, we can piece together this world that Kim created easily, keeping track of the pantheon and history of this world. I would, without a doubt, highly recommend this book to anyone who loves fantasy and world building. This is one of my favorites and I can't wait until I'm holding a copy and turning the pages when I read it again! (and again and again!)

Excited to read more!

I felt like I was watching a film whilst reading this story. We have Beckett, a workaholic woman who apparently had a wild side in her early 20s, is convinced by her friends to go out for a while night in Vegas. But Beckett has a past that we don't know about yet. Ulta does a great job leaving a bit of mystery to keep us wondering what exactly Becks went through. Then she meets Jack...and what was meant to be an exciting evening with her girlfriends turns out to be very exciting indeed!

I thought this was extremely well written. I would've liked more description of our characters, but the dialogue flowed extremely well. I never had an issue following who was speaking, and I never felt like it was boring or unnecessary. It was realistic, flowed fantastically, and your story was not the typical cliche of this genre- I can genuinely feel like it is going in a unique direction. I can't wait to see how Jack and Becks relationship develops...at least, I hope it does.

Since this is an ongoing story I will definitely keep up to date with updates, as I'm so eager to see what Ulta has in story for these characters and their story. Great work!

Excellent Medieval Fantasy

Fantasy is my favorite genre, and this one hit the mark. I was hooked in immediately from the first paragraph. As this is an ongoing project, I will keep up with it as Kai releases new chapters and makes updates!

This epic tale begins with Sir Aedan, a conflicted knight who makes a choice he should never have to make. A choice that disrupts his entire life, sends him in exile and as he harbors a queen with a false name, they form a familial bond which is incredibly heart-warming. All the while the new king is going mad...

Kai does a fantastic job weaving in Aedan's thoughts within the narration without oversaturating it. It's clear that Kai has created a massive medieval-based world with its own unique languages, kingdoms, culture and lore. He does an fantastic job putting the reader into Aedan's head. I could really feel the conflict within him whilst reading, but his strong personality and morals keep him upright, despite his energy seemingly failing him. Kai captured these emotions perfectly.

There were only a few times so far that I felt confused, namely the time jumps and a few dream sequences. Perhaps changing the font, using spacing or making it more obvious that there is a time skip or a dream sequence would make it more obvious. I would only ask for more description of the locations they are in, as we hear a lot about where they are and what Aedan thinks of it, but not a lot about what it looks like which made it difficult for me to imagine the city of Natsu in particular. Otherwise, I feel like the narration (as I mentioned above), the action sequences, dialogue and story are all coming together nicely. It flows well and I found myself speeding through 3-4 chapters without even realizing how much time had passed. This is the kind of story one can get lost in.

I can definitely see this story in hardcover, and I hope to read it in my hands someday.

Couldn't put it down for a second

Wow! This short story has instantly become one of my favorites. From the main character's inner monologue, the dialogue and descriptiveness, I could see and imagine what was happening on the page. I could feel what the main character was feeling. Excellent writing style and grammar. I was hooked the entire time.

The plot of the story really got me. I an empathize with the main character as well. I am quiet, short with words, blunt and suspicious of people and you portrayed that introverted nature perfectly. His anxiety about topping his successful work threw me right into this "slice of life" story, and really left me wanting more. However, I wasn't unsatisfied with the ending either. It ended on a melancholy note, but I'm proud of the main character for standing his ground.

Absolutely fantastic work!!!

Excellent worldbuilding

I'm elated to have had the opportunity to read Paradyxm's Ursaverse series thus far and this story keeps me wanting more each week.

The Ursaverse Volume 1: The Empire of Will is about an Emperor and his Empress and the birth of their Will-child, a baby born from the Will, a mysterious weave of fate. The story begins during relatively peaceful times....but danger lurks on the horizon and tensions rise slowly, with hints and clues left along the way. I will definitely keep reading with each update!!!

Paradyxm does an excellent job at world building and immersing the reader into the Ursaverse by providing just the perfect amount of details to the characters and their personalities, descriptions of their surroundings and the overarching turmoil happening in the world. Each chapter begins with the mysterious message from the Fatescribe, which foreshadows the events of what's to come, leaving just enough mystery to get the reader curious without giving away too much information. Despite introducing many characters quite early on, Paradyxm's ability to introduce each unique character without being overwhelming left me interested each time someone else was introduced.

I would highly recommend The Ursaverse to anyone and everyone interested in Fantasy, drama, massive and creative world building, and engaging characters.

Violet City

I've seen this story go from a bare-bones outline and idea to a fully fleshed out, well written story. The author's improvement is astounding, and I'm so proud of them for keeping at it and making this book the best it can be. It's not finished yet, but I wanted to leave a review just to jot down my initial thoughts. This book does a great job weaving description with dialogue without giving away too much, but also providing us with enough information and context clues to keep the reader engaged. Jace's fear in the first chapter is clear and I could feel myself at the edge of my seat while reading. The -change- in the following chapters is very convincing, engaging, and fun to read. I really can't wait to read more of this book!!!

I want more!!!

I love this story! You've done such a great job pulling me into this story from the start with the vivid descriptions, engaging characters and believable romances and relationships. I think this world you created is so unique, but also evokes a sense of nostalgia, as it reminds of me of Avatar the Last Airbender and Divergent. But, it is important for me to note that while it reminds me of those stories, it is definitely its own story and unique.

I definitely think your strong suit is description, because I did sometimes get distracted whilst reading dialogue. The dialogue did what it needed to do-it got the character's talking across just fine, but I found it slow sometimes and wanted a bit more action whilst they were talking. This is a personal preference, not a bad reflection on your writing!

I thought the story flowed fantastically, and I am really interested in more world building as we get deeper into the story. I've read up to chapter 17, as that's what is posted at the moment. Please, PLEASE keep writing this. It needs a little tweaking, in a few areas but honestly, once that tweaking is done I think this will be an excellent book. I love the cover art also!!! Well done!!

A very potential suitor indeed!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this ongoing story! I appreciate that, even though Amelia and Blake met in a cliché, both buzzed at the bar kind of way, the story did not go as I predicted, and kept me on my toes! I really, really liked Amelia's character. She was funny, thought things through, and has an incredible sense of humor. It took me a little longer to warm up to Blake but I think he's got a few more layers to uncover as you continue writing. I'm eager to see where the story goes, and I will keep up with it as you post new chapters!

I noticed a few grammar mistakes but this can be easily fixed with editing and didn't distract me too much whilst reading. Overall, great job and please keep writing, I want to see what happens next!

Excellent Story

I don't usually go for werewolf stories, or even erotica stories with lots of steamy scenes. But THIS...WOW. I was blown away and read the entire thing in just a couple of hours!!! It was such an easy read with a great story and a unique take on werewolves. Your characters had such unique personalities, believable chemistry (if you factor in the lore of mates) and a really nice, (and in the end) heart-warming story about two people destined to find each other late in life. It was not too steamy, it was just right and I would say it was tasteful and not over the top. You really got into your MC's heads and I felt like I was there rooting for, or scoffing at, both of them the entire time. I felt like this was an emotional roller coaster in the best way!

I would recommend this to anyone interested in werewolf fiction. I honestly wish there was more!

Takes me right back to high school!

You really captured Amelia's feelings in this story. I'm nearly 30 and it took me back to high school so well that I found myself relating to her in some ways. It made me incredibly nostalgic. The drill was exactly how I remember them being, and the dialogue was spot-on for sixteen year olds. I think I would have liked a bit more description of things, locations and people's appearances but honestly I was so immersed in Amelia's inner-thoughts that I wouldn't say the story lacks from this at all. There was a lot of inner monologue thoughts in italics, which distracted me a tiny bit, as a lot of it was told instead of shown but if I understand, this is your intention and since the synopsis tells us of a lot of drama, I feel like we'll need to be in Amelia's head a lot more in the future chapters. So that is not a criticism, just an observation.

The flow of the story was fantastic, and each chapter left you on a cliff hanger wondering what was going to happen next and keeping us interested. All in all, I found it very good, engaging and it was also very quick. I need more!

I put 4 stars for plot since this story only has 7 chapters so far, so I'm adding it into my "reviewed but on going" reading list so I can come back and edit this review once I read more of the story. Looking forward to seeing more of this, you're an excellent writer and I hope you keep it up!

Wow!

Your writing is so engaging and interesting. It really took me into this world you have created, and left me wanting more and interested in what's to come! You did a fantastic job worldbuilding with a good balance between showing and telling, without too much narration and exposition. You let us discover the world as the characters were interacting with it and each other and I think that is one of the best ways to do it.

I would like to understand what the (dates?) at the beginning of each chapter are, but I did not see a guide or anything like that so I'm unsure what their significance is. I also found myself quite confused about the age of the main characters. I understand this is an important plot point, you mentioned that age was not calculated the same way we would do it in the real world. However, I found it difficult to relate to the characters sometimes because I had no idea how old they were supposed to be. I wonder if there is a way to make this clearer without interfering with your goals/writing style?

That is my ONLY critique of this fantastic work. I think you have a very interesting plot going and I'm really eager to see where this goes. I'll add it to my "reviewed/ongoing" reading list so I can continue to keep up to date with new chapters! PLEASE keep writing this story!

An emotional ride

Wow! I am only four chapters in and I am already very invested in this story. I thought you did an excellent job portraying her emotion, as well as the feelings of grief in chapter four when she got "the news." You had one quote in there that really captured how she was feeling, sort of numb inside and it was something along the lines of, "the mental strain had taken out every ounce of my personality," I can't quote it exactly but that is SO on point. I'd like to see more of her personality, but I suspect as you continue writing we'll see more of her beyond grief and guilt.

There were a few grammar mistakes here and there and I did notice that sometimes the writing had an inconsistent flow. Some of the time your sentences varied in length and flowed quite well and I read without stopping, but other times they didn't and I found myself re-reading sentences a bit. There was also a bit of repetitiveness in the use of words like "worsening" and then "worse" in the same sentence. This is all easily fixable and it did not take away from my enjoyment of this story-just something to keep any eye on!

I'm very interested to see how her family reacts (we already know they are angry) but I'm so so interested in her relationship with her family. I'll be keeping this in my "reviewed but ongoing" reading list so I can keep up with new chapters as they are posted. Please keep writing this story, you are doing a great job!

Interested to see where this goes

Artemis begins their story with Amara, waking up in an unknown and quite creepy place alone and confused. Turns out she's caught the eye of Aemon, one of a unique set of gods and goddesses. Artemis did an excellent job introducing us to Amara, a feisty protagonist who isn't afraid to speak her mind against those who would trick her or be overly cryptic with her. I really enjoyed the world that Artemis has created in this story.

I will start out with a few critiques I have. This story changes POV quite a lot, almost too much. I would just start to get into the story of one character, just get interested in their personality and character description, only for their section to end and we move onto the next. I would also say there is a lack in descriptions of things. Artemis did a fantastic job of description in chapter 1, when Amara wakes up. We get a really good feeling of what her surroundings look and feel like. However, I did not get that same feeling in the following chapters. There were a lot of grammatical errors in the story so far but those are easy to fix. It was nothing major, just a word missing in chapter 1 and then a few instances in dialogue where there was a full stop instead of a comma after quotations, small things like that. It did not affect my ability to read the story or understand what was going on. These elements are my biggest critiques of this ongoing story.

The lack of some description was balanced out, however, by excellent character building. I feel like Artemis did a good job of making her characters unique and intriguing, and I could really visualize what they were doing by the way Artemis wrote the dialogue. The gods and goddesses that we've met so far are interesting, I think Amara is a great protagonist already and I am interested to see where the story goes. Keep up the good work :)

Well written historical fiction

Sofia takes us back in time with this historical fiction set right at the onset of World War II, where two children are taken from their homes to live in a Doctor's house in the countryside of Dover.

This is an ongoing project and I read all the way to chapter 8 which is the last one published, but from what I have read so far I can sense a build up, as we were already hit with sad news in the last chapter. I'm so curious to see Max and Sarah's story. I hope they become best friends, and I have so many theories about how this story will progress.

The only suggestion I have would be when writing dialogue, keeping one character's dialogue together instead of spacing each line out. I got confused as to who was saying what sometimes and had to backtrack and re-read a couple times to realize that some dialogue was all from the same person. Otherwise, I had no issues.

Sofia writes in such a way that kept me interested and engaged, with just the right amount of narration and dialogue, and I couldn't put it down. I would definitely have this book on my shelf if it was published in hard cover. Max and Sarah, though children, are easy enough for me to relate to because they are both avid readers and love to explore. I was that way as a child, and still am as an adult. Fantastic story so far, and I will be adding it to my reviewed/ongoing reading list so I can keep up with the story as new chapters are posted!

Interested to see the rest!

This is an exciting story about a young man named Kevin who saves a woman's life...only to find out that she's despised and feared by everyone at their school. And for some reason the "Queen" has set her sights on Kevin.

I thought Monya did a great job writing out these characters' personalities. We get a little bit of Kevin's inner thoughts, excellent dialogue (a lot of which is funny, I loved their banter with each other) and even though a third medium of text messages. I thought his relationship with everyone was believable, but I'm really excited to see where things go with Petra. Speaking of her, I did not like her at the beginning but that was the point. She's presumptuous, arrogant, seemingly ungrateful...but I noticed a few chapters in she wants to spend time with Kevin and even though she's being forceful about it, I have a hunch things might become real before too long . I would definitely say, at this point in the story, these characters and their friendships/dialogue is the definite strong point of the story. We don't get much description of Kevin's surroundings, but honestly, I was not even thinking about it because I was too interested in the characters themselves. and what they were talking about.

The only critique I have is the grammar and punctuation, as I noticed a lot of typos and/or misspelled words. Just small things like "take a seat" was "take an eat" or "your" instead of "you're." They're easily fixable, but they were noticeable and I did see about 6 or 7 of them in the story so far. Just keep an eye out for them when editing your current chapters and when you post new ones. They're so easy to miss, (I am sure my books, which I have read 100 times, still has typos) So no big deal, it did not interfere with my ability to understand what was going on.

I'll be adding this to my "reviewed but ongoing" reading list so I can keep up to date with Kevin and his story!

Very interesting start!

I was drawn in by this story because I'm a historian, and I love love love historical fiction especially when it's combined with fantasy!

The story begins with two teens who are the perfect amount of awkward around one another, and who are thrown into an adventure by their new professor Mrs. Eden. When they go back in time, things don't exactly go as plan and the two open up to one another for their untold adventures.

I found this to be an incredibly easy read, it flowed very well with no awkward time jumps or lengthy explanations. Kim does a great job keeping the reader engaged by keeping us updated with Tristain's inner monologue and the general mood of the scenes.

I would say it is definitely aimed at a younger audience, as I could not quite relate to the characters anymore (which is of course only a product of time) but I still found it very easy and enjoyable to read. It is exactly the type of story I would've re-read over and over as a teenager. Though it's a work in progress, I found that the plot moved quite quickly and I was not left wondering too much what was going to happen. I love the element of myth and folklore you've incorporated into this story.

I wish I could take an adventure like Tristian and Troy!

I'm already hooked

Horror is not a genre I read often, but when I saw the description and cover art for Candyland, I just had to check it out and I'm so glad I did!

Though only two chapters in, Chere has already done a fantastic job of immersing you into the main character's mind and attitude toward life. Claire is angry, hot-headed and seems to resent a lot of the choices she's made, while subsequently continuing to make selfish decisions. I can really feel Claire's anger in these first two chapters, and I'm curious to see how her experiences (will leave out details to avoid spoilers) affect her character development. However, this is horror, so anything can happen!

Chere's description, and writing style reflects Claire's inner thoughts, but also why she thinks the way she does. Even at the beginning, we've instantly got a multi-dimensional character without being overloaded with information. Chere does an excellent job of weaving in the details where necessary without providing too much, and leaving just enough to keep us guessing.

I will definitely be keeping up with Candyland as it updates, and I looked forward to reading more!

Very interesting concept

I found this story to be more of a prompt than an independent story, and I would've loved to see more of it. I think that an "Illusion Forest" has so much potential and could be an excellent short story with a bit more details and emotion. I felt like the reader was taken into the illusion/confusion part for mere moments before they were able to escape. I think for the story to grasp the audience more and have a bigger impact, it needs to be a bit more detailed and emotional. Even for a short story, it could be a bit longer. Right now it feels like a good writing prompt for something bigger.

However, I want to end on a positive note because I found Magnus's writing style to be well paced and smooth. I think the idea of reading it as if the narrator is telling you how you're feeling is very unique and not something you see very much in stories.

Even better than I expected

I'm quite picky when it comes to romance novels, but this one just hit the mark! The two mains were likeable, especially Nick who was such a gentleman!!!! I could really feel the love between these two, and it's written in such a way that evokes emotion, but also isn't overwhelming. The steamy scenes were wonderfully written, and the relationship between the two mains, though fast, was believable and their chemistry was wonderful. Great work!

Like a journey back in time

As a historian, I am drawn to historical fiction (when I'm not escaping into fantasy). This story had two of my favorite elements: Storytelling through letters, and the Titanic.

The Letters of Sierra Charmonte is an engaging, tragic story of a young high class lady and her relationships with her lifelong friend Henri, her best friend and maid Jane, her overbearing tutor and a dashing young man that she meets on the Titanic. I felt that the protagonist was very likeable, and Jo does a great job fleshing out her character and portraying the grief she felt over losing her father, as well as the mixed feelings she has for the men in her life. It was very balanced with the excitement of "breaking the rules" of 1912 upper class. The twists in this story were unexpected, and a great element to the storytelling!

I absolutely loved the chapters in letter form. I grew to adore her father even though he's already deceased by the time the book begins. I did feel that the romance moved quite quickly, but I suppose in a setting like the Titanic that is bound to happen, and despite its speed it was believable. I thought the descriptions of the ship were lovely, and as much as I would've liked to have more inner monologue and Sierra's thoughts, I understand that would be difficult in the writing format, i.e letters.

I also appreciate the effort and research that went into making the time period as accurate as possible. There is of course a few things that are a little too good to be true, but it did not diminish the realism of the story for me. For anyone interested in historical fiction or the Titanic, I'd definitely recommend!

Unique perspective

This was such a unique perspective on DA:I! I assumed at first that Andra was the Inquisitor, but I really appreciated that you made her story her own! I'm a sucker for Solavellan, and I loved that we got plenty of Solas/Andra alone time that wasn't too steamy or over the top. It was...realistic and believable. Your Elvish and lore was spot on and I can tell you did your research and put a lot of effort into this story. I've read a lot of DA:I fanfictions but this is definitely one of my favorites! I hope you continue writing and decide to write another one some day :)