I love the book, however it could be cleaner and crisp to read. Let’s start off with your writing style, I’ve read your other books and you have a strong point when it comes to writing in Narrative/Third Person point of view instead of first person - we dwell too much in her thoughts, drags out for a while. Personally I wanted to scroll passed the unnecessary thoughts and get to the parts where it held more information relevant to the chapter and book. Next your paragraphs, like I stated, they are too long winded you can cut down on them; it made me feel as though I was in an endless word loop and ended up getting tiring and tedious, I felt the need to scroll passed and get to the dialogue. Writing tip for the paragraphs - keep them at about 5-10 sentences with important things relevant to the chapter or book, keeps the chapter moving and the book interesting and makes the reader what to continue reading. Following - your punctuation and spelling, not the greatest, the ellipse put in random places, the small spelling mistakes and the punctuation points thrown in randomly is personally off putting, I am highly sure we can do better; I need it to be better. Next stop on a high note, The Plot; it is perfect, the way it unravels is perfect in my opinion. It’s honestly highly appealing and the thing that keeps me reading. Last stop on a higher note, The characters- like the plot I really enjoyed them, they are the perfect mix of quirky and brooding. I’m still on Chapter Five, but with the characters and the plot I am loving it so far. However we can do better with the writing style. If you wish I can help you edit the book personally and we can republish it, no cost. I can work it for you and republish. Reply to this comment or post a message on my wall to get my email and we can work something out. I want it to do better because it is a really great book.
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