Nathan90

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Amazing

Wow. I am pretty amazed with this story so far. Your descriptions are so vivid and full of “life”, so to speak. You have done a great job in setting the scene and I have been taken in from the very first sentence. The story is dynamic, thrilling and full of suspense. I started caring for Rae from the start and I am curious to see what is going to happen to her. I was a bit angry that the story ended so abruptly, after she has finally gathered the courage to speak up to the Alpha. And then you end the chapter, with him saying nothing. But this is also a good writer’s trick, since I am now impatient to read the rest and cannot wait for it.

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Exciting

The story starts off in a dynamic, aggressive, energetic way. And it continues to be that way throughout. It moves very fast and keeps the reader attentive and interested. If you want to read something forceful and thrilling, with a touch of danger to it, this is the right story for you. You would not regret it. I love how the story moves fast; everything is exciting, happening all of a sudden: finding the wristband and fighting something Jack did not even know existed until then. I have really enjoyed reading this; it came to me as a relaxation reading material. I would love to read more soon. You could work a bit on your writing style, edit and proofread the story. But, your idea is great!

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Liked it very much

This story starts off as a description of an ordinary day, but soon becomes very thrilling and dynamic. You have really nice narratives and I like how you portray your characters. Rather than introducing them yourself, you let them introduce themselves through their words and actions. Through these actions, I can find out a lot about the characters themselves, about their habits, feelings and features. I love this. It is a great trait of great authors. I love how you end the story with a cliffhanger and I am curious about what is going to happen next with Steve and Ian. I also love the husky. :)

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Loved it

This is a really enjoyable story. I am glad I came across it and read it. You have set the scene in a really great manner and introduced the characters to the reader perfectly. I felt as if I was living their lives together with them and I followed them through their adventures. Nice job on making the reader care for the characters. I would suggest that you consider dividing certain parts in more paragraphs, especially at the beginning. That would make your story more readable and add to its flow. Other than that, everything is really nice and I have enjoyed it immensely.

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Wow

This is the best possible title for this story and I am amazed by it to be honest. When I first started reading, I was not expecting this. It really takes effort and skill to describe an actual instance on so many pages and from so many different perspectives. I love this. The sense of danger throughout this story is just wow. My heart was beating so fast while reading this. It is very thrilling and simply amazing. You are a great author, with a great style of writing. I was captivated and I cannot explain how much I have enjoyed this. Perfect!

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Love this

This is a thrilling story, with a complex character. She is 3 in 1. She is a simple college student who tries to pay her debts by assuming a different character, by being a stripper named Layla. Besides that, she is also an amazing superhero, named Blood Rose. This is a really complex story and I cannot read more and follow Rosa on her various adventures and endeavors. You have a really nice style of writing, it absorbed me. I am astounded by Rosa and her character, or rather, characters. I have really enjoyed reading this story and I hope there is more to come soon.

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Thrilling

This story is very thrilling so far. It is mysterious and confusing at times. But, even though it can get a bit confusing, there is something in it that makes you read on, something that is so absorbing, which is why you cannot stop reading until you have come to the end. You are on a good track right here with this story. And Raven is so mysterious and such a complex character. I am very curious about her. I would love to read the rest of this story and find out what happens with her. Overall, I have really enjoyed this so far.

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Intriguing

I love the beginning of this story. It is dynamic, dangerous and a bit unsettling. Sheza is not the usual type of a hero in novels. She is something completely different and totally out of place. This is what makes this story that much more special. I was taken in by this story from the start. It absorbed me and made me read on. I hope that you will publish the rest of it soon and I am certainly intrigued enough to wait for the rest of the story and read it. I would only suggest that you do further editing and proofreading, to make your story more “complete”, so to speak.

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WOW

This is an astonishing beginning. I am amazed. The blurb grasped my attention and I started reading the story. I was astounded by its complexity and the way it is mysterious. Your descriptions are amazing, so vivid. I could picture the “hospital” and all the people in there. I could even hear their thoughts even though you haven’t actually written them down. This is what a great style of writing does to the reader. Not everything has to be written down. But, you can see and feel everything. You are a great writer and I have great expectations out of this story. I cannot wait to read the rest.

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Great

This is a very dynamic and mysterious story. After only these two chapters that I have read, I started feeling sorry for Raven and I started caring for her. Her actions brought her where she is now, but she was “lucky” to be saved due to the fact that she was Ezekiel’s mate. The question is how long will that circumstance be able to keep saving her and what will happen in the end. She is expecting her own death, that is for sure. But, the way you write has me wishing that Raven survives, regardless of being a murderer. I have a feeling that this will be a great story.

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Enjoyable

I would call this a same but different romance. The story of two lovers and their struggles, but with a touch of mystery. Those considerable differences between John and Darlene are something that cannot be overcome so easily. I have no doubts that there are many, many people who can relate to this story today and I hope they will become your readers soon. This is really enjoyable so far and I hope you will write more soon. I would like to follow the characters on their journey in life, the journey of love and towards love. I love what I have read so far.

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Deep

This is a really sad story, with a complex topic. It portrays the tragic destiny of a child. Being abused by her father and not having protection from her mother, or the brothers… it really is a tragedy. Child abuse is present, widespread and not talked about enough. I am glad that you took it upon yourself to explore this important, strong, yet distressing and stomach-turning topic. It is often neglected and people tend to turn a blind eye even when they are aware of a similar situation in their own neighborhood maybe, or even in their own home. You are very brave for writing about this, so keep it going

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Enjoyable

This is a nice beginning. Well, “nice” is not the right word when it comes to horror stories, but I guess you know what I mean. You have set the scene nicely.  Everything is so eerie, mysterious and dark. Those are my kinds of stories. I have always enjoyed reading horror stories and mysteries. And this one is going to be my cup of tea, I can sense that. Your descriptions are enjoyable and I like your style of writing. A Halloween night on which everything can happen and I cannot help it but expect certain things. I would love to read more soon.

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Nice

The story starts off with a beautiful description. Since I am a snow enthusiast, your description got me to read more. And I was not sorry that I did read more. This is a very nice beginning for a story, an interesting and enjoyable scene setting. I have really enjoyed reading this and I hope that you will write more soon. You have nice narratives and beautiful descriptions and the idea behind this whole story is amazing. You have a nice style of writing, which enthralls you. In my opinion, it has great potential and I cannot wait to read more. Keep up the good work.

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Nice

This is a very powerful story. It is saddening and instructive at the same time. I was sorry for Zondra and angry at the relationship with her mother that she described. However, there are always misunderstandings and quarrels in every family. Zondra’s case is nothing new. But, it is equally sad. The neglect must have caused the jealousy in her. And it was only a question of time when she would do something reckless and stupid. Your ending is also powerful. And you have a nice writing style. The story has a good flow to it and it keeps the reader attentive throughout.

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Scary

This story seems kind of familiar to me. That is, the idea of murdering the children for food, it is as if I have already read this somewhere. But, nevertheless, the story left a particular impact on me. It is mysterious and scary so far, just what a horror story should be in the first place. I am curious to see what Edward is going to do and how he is going to react and cope with the fact that his children were killed. By making him take a knife at the end of the chapter, you leave the story with a cliffhanger and hint at certain possibilities at the same time. I liked that. Keep up the good work.

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Liked it

I love that the story starts off so dynamically. The blurb is also very intriguing and it actually made me read more. Once I started, I was on pins and needles. I did not realize at first that you have written only one chapter so far and when I came to the end of it, I was like “What, where’s more?”. This story has a great potential. The very idea of sending a diary from the future is exciting. And although I am aware that it is not actually true, your blurb made it believable and made the whole story all the more intense. The first chapter is very dynamic, energetic and thrilling. Lana fighting her own parents… Everything is simply absorbing.

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Nice

Provided that you continue the way you have started, this story will tackle some significant issues of today. Although you classified it as sci-fi, what I have read so far is completely realistic. The Great Computer is something to get you thinking about the world we live in and the world we are going to live in in the future. The problem of butchering the language due to the 140 characters (I believe this is Twitter’s doing) is especially important to me and it particularly bugs me. I love the topic you have chosen and I believe that writing about these things is a necessity. Well done on that. My only suggestion would be to edit your story, for getting better quality.

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