I am in love with the concept of this story. It's the execution of it that is a problem. Let me explain one by one.
Read the story now
The language is good - you've kept it plain and simple. That's how a story should be written - not too many big words - just apt number of them. However, the problem doesn't lie here. So, keep it up!
The tense of the story keeps changing from past tense to present tense. This is something I've been noticing with many writers on various platforms, so you're not the only one. This can be fixed with a bit of editing. Also, in the beginning of the first chapter, I was confused with the quotation marks you have used. My understanding is that singles are used for thoughts and doubles are used when spoken aloud, or vice-versa. You have mixed this, is what I feel. That, or Axel can read Nora's mind, while Nora cannot read Axel's.
Also, I suggest you break your sentences into paragraphs. And, do build up the story better. I understand that the entire scene would be playing like a movie in your mind, where you know exactly why some things are happening, but your readers can't read your mind. You need to explain it all to them. Then again, this explanation cannot be direct and all done at one shot. Build up your plot slowly and carefully. Make sure you end each of your chapters in such a way that the reader will be crying for more. Make sure that all of this lead somewhere exciting and completely unexpected.
On that note, I personally feel that you should elaborate more on the dream in the first chapter. I understand that it was explained in the second chapter, but somehow, I didn't find the connection between the two. It felt like a whole new dream was being described in the second chapter.
Lastly, I didn't feel all these characters. I felt like I couldn't care less if Nora's heart stopped and she fell unconscious. Your readers should be able to feel her pain and the reactions of the others in the room to such an occurrence. Perhaps it happens everyday. But, don't you think it'll be painful to see somebody close to you nearly die everyday? Here, I suggest you put yourself in the shoes of each of your characters and ask yourself what they would say or feel or how they each would react to a given circumstance.
I personally believe that this story has a lot of potential when it is improved. It can do so much better in this world. All you have to do is pay attention to the little things that matter and could even change the very direction of your story.
All the best on your endeavour!