I find the story interesting with Theo and his peers. I actually felt a connection with Theo's loss with his family.. The plot with the random murders from different time periods, does give rise to be curious about who is committing them. The characters were introduced in the first chapter well. However, I would expanded on characterization with the dialogue on the first chapter and maybe on the other chapters. Just enough to have that extra flow in pace. This will give more of a feel of the characters and their personality. Your grammar and punctuation mechanics seems to be well balanced. I would be careful with the paragraphs. Just make sure they are not out of place and you should be in good standing. I hope my review was helpful!
Read the story now