OTAn

Anticipation

Lucy scared me just as she did the protagonist. I like the showing. How the shadow crept up... and then a hand. Scary. No wonder the protagonist was surprised.

"Not everybody has money, you know," I sighed. [I felt like there should have been internal dialogue that lets the reader know more about the protagonist as well as her friends.]

Chapter 2

After "When we got there we were in for a rude shock..." and before Sarah started shouting, I felt like there needed to be a scene description. Maybe a brief description about walking in and noticing Sarah looking frustrated at the counter. Maybe also physical descriptions of frustration like clenched knuckles or running her hand through her hair and trying to stay calm, etc.

This author is great with horror story. There are parts of the story that are so terrifying. Anticipation is great for these types of story, and the author definitely worked that well.

Fun read

I am interested in learning more about her parents. There was a scene where she mentioned her parents trying to cheer her up. I felt like it was telling more than showing.

I liked that it was first person, and I really enjoyed getting to know the character. A very fun read. You have a student starting from the bottom of magic class being placed with a teacher who's used to failing Valedictorians.

Fairy Tale

- The summary was vague. At first glance, I didn't know if I was the target audience. Was this something I would pick out and read?
- The opening had impact. I just thought... Who is this narcissistic guy? I think maybe there should have been more emphasis on descriptions of his looks to show how obsessed he is while also giving the reader an idea of what he looks like.
- I was surprised that Houndal agreed to this stranger's request. He doesn't know who this is. It seems more realistic for Houndal to disagree. "Why?" or "I'm busy." And then the man says, "Hear me out." A stranger just gave him a bag of responsibility.
- The barmaid's reaction was equally puzzling. I thought she would call him crazy. Instead, she goes with it like it's normal. For a moment, I thought she may have heard rumors about the mysterious man, but she was just as clueless.
- Houndal saw her transform so it was strange for him to question the animal's identity.
- And suddenly he's okay with her running off into the woods.