Sam I Am

I'm pausing and editing my story. I will be back with a better story (hopefully). See you soon. Cheers, Sam

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Well-written

It was a nice story that was enjoyable to read. I liked the disconnectedness I felt in the beginning, about not knowing what was happening and the way the author tied it up together. Also, the descriptions and comparisons were a bonus point - I'm always a sucker for good descriptions. And the story was so fun that I couldn't help but click on the 'Next Chapter' button every time. (The cliffhangers helped). On the other hand, I felt that I little bit more elaboration about the setting was required in each stage for the reader to visualise where and how exactly the scene was playing out. And I would have liked a little more insight into what kind of a person Mae is so I could map her actions and make sense of it. Otherwise, everything else including the technical stuff was spot on. I had fun reading it. I hope you continue to write such pieces in the future!

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A Very Interesting Read

As I read through the first chapter, I started getting annoyed with the slow pace of the story. But eventually, I realised that I must enjoy this slow pace. All the details and descriptions made me feel different things. It made me enjoy the inane, mundane day to day affairs, and the sudden curveball the author threw at me when she suddenly started talking about humans and non-humans. I mean, I knew it was Sci-fi, but I expected some 'brace yourself' text. But I liked the suddenness of the introduction. Everything seemed rather human and mundane until that point.

As far as writing goes, there were some grammatical errors here and there but nothing that would stop you from reading. The flow of the story could also be a little better with filling in gaps and stretching out some scenes. But then, it is up to the author's discretion. Overall, I really liked reading it. I read the story well. Good job, and don't stop writing!

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Wow!

Oh, my god. The style of writing was so much like the greats in historical fiction that I have read! I didn't even think about the review until the very end because I was so absorbed in the tale. I read this story very well. The descriptions were crisp and not too elaborate to the point where people are bored to tears; the dialogues were so well written that I enjoyed the back and forth banter of the sisters very enjoyable; the scene- and mood-setting were done very well. I was actually able to see the scene in my mind's eye. It was a great experience which not many writers can bring to the reader. I especially liked the prologue which quickly and immediately sets the tone of mystery and intrigue in the story. The grammar and punctuation in this story are near-perfect. There were no obstacles of errors which stopped me as I was reading. Thanks for this experience, and I hope you keep writing!

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Absorbing

The way the story began was great! I loved how the descriptions played out and the small one-liners the author wrote. I also liked Dean's character a lot. He was not the hero and the 'one' in the prophecy, yet the story is being told through his eyes. It provides a unique and fresh perspective. I also liked how she doesn't fall for his charms immediately. I also liked how fast-paced the story was and events kept happening one after the other without a pause. It kept me on my toes as a reader and made me excited to know more.

On the other hand, I would have liked it if the copy were a little cleaner. In the sense that the commas should have been placed where they weren't and removed where they were. Some grammatical errors were also there but not so much that it'll stop a reader from reading. Paragraph breaks are also desirable. Otherwise, the plot was very interesting and left me wanting for more.

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A nice read, but could do with a little improvement

The idea of the story was good. The way it was constructed, structured and written technically was also good. But I think some of his hopelessness and helplessness was not very well defined, in the middle. If the/ author could just have increased the anxiety with the pace as to make it reach a climax, then him being fired would be bursting the balloon of tension.

As it is, it's a nice read. But it doesn't make me feel for the protagonist if that is what you want me to.

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A different idea which could do with some polish

Frankly, I enjoyed reading this story. It didn't have great grammar, it didn't have much of character development. But I loved the flow of the story. The way one thing led to another. Some scenes could have been added to make the connectivity better, but overall, the flow was good. Another thing I liked is the themes the author addressed -- coping with grief, feminism, equality and striking a balance between being strong and weak. I enjoyed the story mainly because these themes were decently brought out.

I hope the author doesn't stop writing and gives us more stories (with improved grammar!). Thanks a lot for this book. I had a great time reading it.

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