Whatsmyusername17 - Rebecca MacLean

Ontario

Just here to share my ideas and to help you spark your own. Find me on Wattpad: Whatsmyusername17

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Love it!

The chapters are a fantastic length. The characters are deep, and complicated. There's so much to learn about the characters and to see their development. From what I've read the plot seems good, I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. It's a perfect budding romace, with a sexy demanding alpha. Which is everything I love.

Keep up the great work!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great potential

I'll start off with saying this story has a lot of potential but needs some work. You've got a lot of grammar mistakes. Commas in the wrong areas, sentence fragments. All of those things are easy to fix when you go back to edit. So that's not a big deal. The one thing I noticed the most as it was a lot of all talk and no descriptions. It was hard to kinda figure out what was happening. example when she's in the store you just say that all the clothes were gone and she only found a bandanna. Why weren't there any clothes? What did the inside of the store look like? Etc. When she went to the apartment she woke up and cried. It seemed out of the blue. What was she feeling? Why was she feeling that way? It would be good to set up her emotions in the first half of the chapter and then when she wakes up add more emotion before she breaks down. Like I said there's a lot of potential and I think it can get there. Just slow things down, explain things more, add more detail. :)

Read the story now

No badges received yet

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.