Whatsmyusername17

Ontario

I'm just a dyslexic that loves to read and write, who has a dairy allergy but loves cheese. Click the Support me button to find me on Wattpad! (Whatsmyusername17)

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Love it!

The chapters are a fantastic length. The characters are deep, and complicated. There's so much to learn about the characters and to see their development. From what I've read the plot seems good, I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. It's a perfect budding romace, with a sexy demanding alpha. Which is everything I love.

Keep up the great work!

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Great writing

I was drawn into this story right off the bat. The way the you wrote it pulls you in immediately. I could picture each scene as i was reading it perfectly. Right away you could understand the dynamics of the characters and what their personality was.

The story started strong but I found as I kept reading it got a little repetitive of the "you killed her, admit it!" & "No I didn't". As I kept reading I felt that i was missing something between the two characters. They acted and talked with each other as If they had met before and already knew eachother. Maybe adding in a few extra chapters that leads up to the murder would be helpful to maybe bridge that.

There was some grammar errors that I noticed but it really wasn't anything that ruined the flow of the reading. Just a proof read before you post would be helpful.

I think it would be beneficial if you had something written in your story description that there's 18+ content in some chapters. When using the phone app i can't see if you've rated it that way.

Overall I think you have something great here. Just a little bit of some extra fill ins and maybe to make it more clear if you want this as a mystery or romance with a touch of mystery to make it a little more clear for readers what genre they're going to be invested in. Otherwise keep up the great work!

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Just buy the edited published version! 😝

Great story. Super sexy but it took a long time to get to the point of it all. I felt like the characters were hot and cold all the time and then at the end it was weird that all of a sudden everything was okay.

The flow of the story was a little messy. Chunks of the chapters would be missing half way through so it wouldnt make sense. There was a lot of errors in some of the details about what was going on that didn't make sense for how the rest of the chapter played out.

I'm sure all of this has been fixed since it's published. I honestly would just recommend buying the published version to get a real sense of the story and have it be a smoother read.

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A story sticking to the true details!

I got hooked on this story within the first chapter. The details in this story are amazing. I can visualize each scene as I read it. This story sticks to the true details of the actual Greek myth. If you're someone who's not a huge fan of history, Greek mythology and struggles with the idea of incest relationships, this story probably isn't right for you. I'm not a fan of incest, but with the way the myth goes and the way all Greek myths are told, they're all related to each other one way or another. If you can accept that, you'll have an easier time getting through the story and understanding the characters and the story as a whole.

The characters are fantastic, they have a lot of depth and hidden qualities that I'm sure will flourish and show as they evolve through the story.

This is a story that I'll definitely continue to read, and over all would definitely recommend to someone who's just as interested in Greek mythology and Greek history. Very well done.

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Great potential

I'll start off with saying this story has a lot of potential but needs some work. You've got a lot of grammar mistakes. Commas in the wrong areas, sentence fragments. All of those things are easy to fix when you go back to edit. So that's not a big deal. The one thing I noticed the most as it was a lot of all talk and no descriptions. It was hard to kinda figure out what was happening. example when she's in the store you just say that all the clothes were gone and she only found a bandanna. Why weren't there any clothes? What did the inside of the store look like? Etc. When she went to the apartment she woke up and cried. It seemed out of the blue. What was she feeling? Why was she feeling that way? It would be good to set up her emotions in the first half of the chapter and then when she wakes up add more emotion before she breaks down. Like I said there's a lot of potential and I think it can get there. Just slow things down, explain things more, add more detail. :)

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