Preserved in Ink
I don't know how to write a review to be honest 🤓, but anyways, let's get to it! (This review is based on the latest chapter, specifically chapter 7)
Read the story now
First off, the plot is something to look forward to. It's not predictable and I don't know what will happen next. With this though, it makes you feel engaged to the story as you crave for more chapters to come... I guess is a strong word, huh?
Second, the writing is good to the point that it feels "realistic". This "realistic" feeling is not like the others where it just feels boring because of it. Yours on the other hand, is completly the opposite of that, and that what makes the story engaging! The humor, the drama, and the interaction between the characters are superb, and I know that all of those will improve more as the story continues.
Third is the downside of the story. Although everything about the story is great, what bothers me the most the punctuations. It seems that you fluctuate between the usage of periods (.) and commas (,) in every dialogue. For example, you did it like this:
"Mimi, you're very talented." She said.
When it's supposed to be like this:
"Mimi, you're very talented," she said.
Just a tip here, at the end of writing the dialogues of the characters, you use commas (,) to indicate that the sentence is incomplete. For example:
"I feel tired," he whispered.
"I think the answer is A," William, my friend since middle school, hesitated.
Using commas are the most common, especially if a tagline like "he said", "she said", etc (I maybe wrong here because I forgot the name for those things).
On the other hand, using periods (.) indicate that the sentence is complete (or something lol). For example:
"You came here because of this? What a loser." After he said that, the room became silent.
You see the difference?
This might not be a helpful review, however, I'd hope that this might help you in some way or another for your story to improve. Try researching on how to write proper dialgues for more clariffications. Overall, the story is astonishing, the writing is great, but some punctuations here and there needs some polishing. A long review lololol sorry about that!