Jesus M. Arce Rivera (Richard Omega)

Dorado, P.R.

Just someone who loves to write. 28-years-old. Author of the Omega A Legacy Reborn Series. follow me on the links down below.

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Could improve

From what I see there's a lot of problems here. The first is quotations on your character's dialogue is missing on a good chunk of the first chapter. It will confuse the reader and most likely lose interest even if this is a short story. Some the sentence after periods are put either not start with a capital letter or do not have space in it. finally, make sure that the dialogue has some separation from each other, it will make it look easier for the readers to see where they were in the case they want to continue reading. People can easily get lost when the dialogues are all in the same place instead of separated sometimes I didn't know who was talking. That is about it Hope this will help you improve your writing and good luck out there young writer.

-Jesus M. Arce Rivera (Richard Omega)

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good to read on break, just some issues with some sentences.

After reading chapter 1 I must say that I will be reading this each time I get free time. Of course, there are other stories that I am reading besides this one so, it might take a while before I write another review where I am further away from the story. Hmm, Will be interesting to see Scarlett's journey to find Darcy. The only issues that I have with this story are some of the sentences. An example is this one "Okay I will, and you must beat this cancer." Instead in my opinion this would be better "Ok I will find her, but you must beat this cancer. Promise me that!" Also in the next sentence, There's too many and on it. you can cut it after Emma say extremely hard. You can remove the and that follows. You can put a period then proceed to say that she will make sure she beats this cancer for her sister and her daughter Darcy. Other than that, I like the plot and the prologue. Well, take care.

-Jesus M. Arce Rivera (Richard Omega)."

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