A really good story that needs some editing.
I absolutely love the premise for this story and the author does a good job setting a believable pace for the story. That being said I was continuously pulled out of the story by the developmental and technical errors in the story. For the most part it is easily to ignore most of the errors because they can be easily fixed and a lot of writers try to finish the entire book and then do post production edits. But the story is filled with so many sentence fragments that I was yanked out of the story more often than I could count.
Read the story now
I think this book could be really amazing it just needs a bit of editing. Here’s a bit of unsolicited advice, try reading the chapter out loud when it’s done, it can help you spot most of the errors.
I’m excited to read the next chapter!