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I really liked your story! I was totally hooked on until the very end. I think you should write more, but as a flash fiction it is perfect. It is very flowed and easy to read.
The plot is amazing, I’m a huge fans of aliens’ stories and I have to say that you have managed between some clichés to write a unique and original story. I felt the need to know the previous fact of the aliens, where do they come from and who is the man. Maybe you could write a prequel telling the story of the first time they came to Earth.
From my point of view the writing style is good, I liked the idioms and expressions you use throughout the story. Nevertheless, there is an ellipsis missing in the number 2 when Jack is counting.
All in all I think it is an enjoyable piece of flash fiction with an unexpected ending.
Wonderful story! Keep writing!
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