The One is here to rob you of your dreams
That poem is the creepiest part of the story, and that is a very good thing. However, the ending should have been just as strong and it should have captivated your readers and chilled them to the core. You just didn't do that to me. If the main character had been the one affected it would have made since for them to remember, but having the brother be affected, that seemed like a bit of a disappointment. The one also seemed to be a metaphor for a predator/stalker/domestic-violence person. I'm sorry if you think this is a bad review, but I really want to see you improve. You have a good foundation, but it could be better, such as adding more back-story, more poems, and maybe a personal experience with the one.
Read the story now