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Excerpt from Athanasia: The Great Insurrection
The story moves rapidly along, compliments of the writer’s style and his ability to draw a graphic picture with his words.
The name symbolism is very well done, with some of the names clearly suggesting which side the character will fall in the battle between good and evil that quickly unfolds after the completion of the first several short chapters. King Justinian, for example, is a man of justice, and the name Arsinian seems to beget a character scarcely a stranger to sin.
Analogy is used well, for example, in the God character of Sophos, and it serves to lead one into the story, wondering how or if the analogy will differ from Christ.
One suggestion is to introduce various characteristics of the characters using some seemingly relevant material rather than simply stating it. In the second sentence of chapter one we have the description of Mardox; instead, it might be better to bring this information into the story less directly, such as describing his complexion as playing some kind of role in his ability to command his subjects or those he leads.
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