The author quickly introduces us to the various characters by dropping us off in the middle of an action scene. Since the author has indicated they haven't got a fully edited product, and this is their draft, I'm going on a limb to say the technical aspects will be corrected after the whole story is written.
Read the story now
There is good foreshadowing. The author pulls us along from one character to the next. There were aspects of the character development that I would have liked to see earlier (i.e., facial details, so I can get an idea of what each character looks like right off the bat, but that's a preference thing and not detracting to the story in any way.)
I didn't find any parts of the story dragged on or caused me to lose interest. I read it through twice with relative ease. The story is very much on the genre. It reminded me a little of a few sci-fi movies I've recently seen.
Also, congratulations on putting your work out there. This is such a hard thing to do! And by all means, keep going! The story is great. I will continue to zip through it and leave feedback on the specific spots I think could be strengthened. (I hope these get directly emailed to you?)