I’m ... not sure I’d be willing to pay money for this...
From a technical standpoint, it isn’t a badly written book. A few grammatical errors here and there but overall a lot cleaner and better-edited than some of the other stories I’ve read.
Read the story now
That being said, the writing itself seems ... young. It feels a little stilted and awkward sometimes. It’s written from a teenagers POV so I guess that’s been gotten down very well, but it also makes me think the author might BE a teenager or a young adult, so it’s due more to lack of experience than any deliberate characterization on her part..
There’s also not a whole lot going on with the plot. The first few chapters are just her getting up, training, going to school, repeat... To be fair, I did only read the first three or so. Maybe more happens afterward. But you want to hook your reader in those first two or three and ... I was a little bored. I found myself skimming the pages, which you don’t want. There was an awful lot of telling going on, too. Such as the introduction to other characters, rather than working them into the story naturally Ellie basically just lists who they are, describes appearance in great detail that isn’t necessary, and moves on. I think this is partly what gives me the sense of the writer being young and/or inexperienced. One needs to find ways to work character description into the prose naturally, not just all in one info-dump.
The one thing that really bothered me was the random erotic shower scene. The book reads like a YA novel, but that scene is definitely NOT YA material. That (and I suspect future scenes) would push it right into the romance/erotic literature category.
Which is FINE, except I’m not sure that it fits there, either. As I said, the overall sample posted reads too much like a YA novel, with a teen protagonist. I don’t think it can safely be placed under either of those categories, which is problematic if it is being published under one or the other.
The idea of the pack each having their own inner-wolf with a distinct personality and name that can communicate with their host is ... unique. It’s not something I’ve read before and I think it could be interesting if carried off well. But making the wolf exactly like the host feels a little ... lazy to me. It would’ve been more interesting to have a little conflict. Maybe give Leia an actual personality of her own. If she’s meant to be a wolf, she’d be more convincing as somebody fierce, more like an actual warrior than a mirror of a ditzy teen. The conflict of two clashing personalities would make the story far more interesting, plot-wise. Instead, we get a wolf that I can’t really take seriously as a deadly creature when she acts and speaks more like a typical teenaged high-schooler.
Overall, the book is ... okay? Honestly, I would not be willing to pay a nine dollar asking price for it. That kind of pricing should be reserved for books that are written and published by established professionals with a lot of experience under their belts. For somebody just starting out (or who writes like they’re just starting out) a much lower price tag is much more fair to the readers. Had I purchased this on Amazon at that price and read it, I probably would be asking for a refund before even finishing the book.
Edit: Forgot to mention that I do like the cover. Beautifully done and easily read. The colors are striking.