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Couldn't Stop Reading!
This story was incredibly engaging from the moment I started it. I couldn't stop reading it!
The way it is written, the sarcastic comments... it's fantastic.
The one irritating thing I did notice was that there were quite a few typos, but nothing a quick proof reading wouldn't fix. When I write, I always have someone edit for me before I post.
A couple of other suggestions... 'deadpan' is overused, in my opinion. You might want to consider taking it out in a few instances. It also bothered me that after Spencer found out that Dog Tags was Noah, he was still referred to as Dog tags sporadically. Except for now and then in dialogue, I think it would have been better to consistently use Noah. It was confusing at times, particularly when you switched back and forth between names within a paragraph.
Overall, this is a fantastic story and I will definitely tell my friends about it.
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