Smiles_Killjoy

Just a girl with stories in her head ✍🏻 Vikings⚔️🛡Vampires⚰️💉and Criminals🚨🏎... oh my!

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The Loan Shark’s Prisoner

I read this within a span of 3 days, and it started off really strong, but it started getting ridiculous toward the end. It was a little confusing, and definitely didn’t make sense as to why the main character would choose to be with a man so hateful and abusive other than Stockholm syndrome. I dunno, I have so many unanswered questions with this book which is incredibly frustrating, and is also why I rated it at a 3 star overall.
It seems the author may have forgotten what was going on in the story at parts, since the timeline got disjointed toward the end.
As a writer, I can appreciate that the author is attempting to re-write the story as stated at the end of the book, and I completely understand that things get mistaken or forgotten; however, if you’re going to make such drastic changes, such as completely re-writing and taking in a direction where they all know each other before the events of the story, I think it should be taken down and re-written instead of leaving it up to confuse people.
Overall, I actually did really enjoy this story, the plot was strong, the characters were well rounded, but I just wish that it came together and flowed easier in the second half, and that the ending wasn’t so abrupt, and left me confused, almost as though it wasn’t really the end, but that the author just stopped writing.
I will definitely check out other works by the author, because I enjoyed the writing style of the story, and I do hope that once you’ve re-written it as stated that it will have more body and more explanation as to certain events and characteristics in the story.

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Alpha Kane

This started out super strong, with a great plot! I agree with some of the reviews though, it seemed rushed and there wasn’t a whole lot of description with scenes that really needed it.
I enjoyed reading it, although there were quite a few spots where it was confusing trying to decipher what exactly was going on, and there is a section in the last chapter I believe where it seems a huge chunk is completely missing, or needs clarification on what is happening. This is one of those stories that has good bones, and I think once you have the time to, you should go through and re-read it, making notes and refine it. Add in descriptions, settings, characters. Fix the grammar/spelling and proof read it to make sure it flows before uploading it.
Overall, it was a pretty decent read, and I hope you do go over and proof read it and add in those extra details that will really make it pop.
Keep writing, and I’m looking forward to reading it again if/when you go through and make some adjustments, as well as giving your other works a read as well!

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Good story

Lots of spelling and grammar errors makes it hard trying to decipher what the author is trying to get across, but I’m liking the story so far

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