Enola M.

Just a Potterhead making her way in the world.

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A story with good potential

I find the bond between the twins adorable! The plot really makes me wonder about the parents and want to reach into the page and find them. However, I do find the author's style of writing quite rushed which makes it appear as if parts of the story have been skipped over. I think if more description needs to go into the story then the author should add it in - I don't think it's a problem if the chapter's a little longer. I also think that stronger vocabulary could be added in here and there to summarise certain sentences. Apart from that, I think this story has great potential! Keep writing!

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Unique in its own way

I love feel-good stories and Nana's 'Whispers of the Heart' is definitely one of them. I also love how certain chapters have a sense of mysteriousness to it. It gives the reader something to think about rather than just reading a bunch words and moving on.

However, some chapters (e.g Chapter 1) tend to be a bit long and I couldn't really find the meaning behind it. Length isn't really problem for me but it has to lead to something. In Chapter 1, the writing appears intense but I couldn't understand its "story".

The technical writing skills are very good but I think the author gets a little carried away with certain vocabulary. For example, if it's going to be an informal diary entry, then it should have some slang and big words shouldn't be used frequently to give it that realistic effect.

Everything else is superb and I'd definitely recommend Nana's stories! Keep writing!

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Another great story!

I think the concept of this story is an interesting one. Life is sort of like a train ride. I love the intensity of the plot as well and how mysterious and solemn it is. This is one of those stories that you'd want to read on a glum, rainy day by the window and with a hot beverage by your side - and I mean it in a good way!

The only issues I found throughout the chapters were (as others have pointed out) the grammatical errors and etc. A few minor tweaks and you'd have the perfect story! It's not the end of the world if a story has grammatical errors (I'm not perfect myself) but it is always good to get public opinions to improve our future works.

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Great writing!

The quality of writing is very good! It's detailed and doesn't tend to drone on. The chapters are in length which is something I prefer. But, the genre of the story and the types of events/actions described in the story depends on the reader's preferences. The story is too dark for my taste. Personally, I dislike extreme abuse and gore. Aside from this one red flag (which is only based on my preference), the author of this story seems like a talented writer. I would definitely read future works.

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A good concept that could be better

I like the concept of the author's story such as its plot, genre and goal. I love superheroes so I was quite excited when I found out the story had a connection to DC. The author's technical writing skills needs a lot of improvement, however. The chapters are very short (a paragraph's worth) unless the author intended it that way - if it's supposed to be a short story then I suppose it's alright. The style of writing's a bit informal. The title of the story could be shortened, in my opinion. But, I believe with the appropriate amendments, the story will be another superhero hit!

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