Shivi Dixit

Needs improvement

A very promising story Elle. The plot seems good and the first chapter has been written nicely. It creates a suspense, that pushes you to read more, without giving away too much of information.
The only problem is, that you make a lot of mistakes. You know grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes. But that's alright. You'll get better. It's something I am sure of, because you do show potential. And I also understand that English is not your first language, so you're bound to make mistakes. For that I would recommend a few things: you should read more books in English. That'll help you understand sentence construction. You should re-read your chapter, so you'll know what changes you want to make. And thirdly, you can also use apps that can help you edit it properly.
And it's just first chapter, so you're doing good. I'll keep on updating my review, as I read the next chapters. looking forward to read more from you. : )
xoxoxo

Great!

I really really liked the book. The writing style was capturing and the plot was something new too. As someone who doesn't read fantasy genre, I think the author managed to impress me.
Although, there were a few problems that I would like to point out. First, there are some grammatical, puntuation and contextual errors, which can be rectified easily after editing. But what I see as a significant problem is that it was a little slow paced. The descriptions were smooth and apt, but they seemed to be longer than they should be. Hence, it resulted in slowing down the story. Then there were also parts where it got a little confusing. So I suggest you go through it once you're done with the first draft.

Apart from it, I think that it's a great book and has the power to allure even someone who isn't interested or unfamiliar with the genre. Keep going!

I am stunned!

I know I know, you might;ve read it over for a hundered times, but I am just going to repeat what everyone has to say: I loved it!
From everything to use of latin, to the author's writing style, to the plot and the descriptions, everything is just flawless. I can go on, but you already know what I am going to say.
So, instead, let me just get straight to the point why I gave it 4 stars, instead of 5, when I say that this book is just perfect.
The only problem I find are the elongated descriptions. Your descriptions are your strength as well as your weakness. They are detailed and vivid, which makes it interesting to read. But sometimes, they tend to be longer than they should be. At some places, it becomes too much flowery and goes on to explain the same thing in 4 lines, that could be explained in just 1. Hence, it becomes a little hard to follow through.

Apart from it, I have no complaints. It's just awesome and as perfect as it gets.

Requires some refining

First thing I would like to say is, that I love the author's writing style. She has written and portrayed her work very nicely. The sentences are properly constructed and there are very few mistakes.
However, the thing that was a turn off for me was that it got confusing in the middle. Suddenly there are new characters introduced out of nowhere, and balancing them became difficult. The characterization was good, but not good enough. Also, I feel that the story is moving a little too slowly, which causes the reader to lose interest.
But I will say that it can be improved surely. I recommend once that you finish writing the book, go through all the chapters and consider the reviews given by other people. It will help you a lot.
Happy writing!

A cute-crisp read

When you write about something from your past, there's no correct style to write it. You can write whatever way you want to. And the author has proved that point. And not only that, she has used two different writing styles for different stories. Which makes it amazing to read. Also the language is simple, so you throughky enjoy it. And not to forget, the childhood stories, that always manage to make you smile at the end of the chapters.
The only things I found off were, some technical mistakes. You know punctuation, context, grammar, the usual. And it would also help if you make it more descriptve. I mean they're good as they're now. But it would also help if you dive in a little to add some description of the things.
Overall, a really enjoyable read and definitely the book to read when you want to unwind.

Freaking amazing!

I literally loved this book! It has such an amazing, fresh concept that you cannot not love it. It's fabulous! I like the plot, the storyline, the imaginative work and the characterization. Not to forget, unexpected twists and turns. When you start reading it, you feel like it's a typical book where weird things start happening to a normal person. But as you progress through the book, you realize how twisted it actually is. And what's great is, that the suspense factor has been maintained nicely throughout. You think you understand it for a moment, but the next moment you don't. And that's one of the many things why I like this book so much.
When it comes to critisizm. I think there are somethings that I might want to point out. Like there are some obvious grammatical, contextual and punctuation errors, but you can easily spot them and clear them out if you go through the book a couple of times. Apart from this, I think you could've framed your sentences better. Like just twerk them a little and use some different words. I mean we know that scary and horrifc basically mean the same thing, but one of them creates a better impact. Also it would be great, if you could also add some more details. Not that it's not detailed currently. Just you know, add little descriptions of how others apart from Elijah feel, how things actually look and feel like. Also it seems kind of rushed, so you know slowing down and explaining things in a little detail would help.
Overall, I just have one word for this book: Stupendous!
Kudos to the author and his/her/their imagination : )

I'm feeling good about this

We're only first chapter into the story and it is quite intriguing. The main conflict has been introduced and the circumstances have been explained too. And the fact that there is a possibility of the protagonist dying adds thrill to the story. Also, tbh I wasn't expecting the first chapter to end that way, and it was goood!

But it's a little fast paced, and the plot seems quite niche. It needs some unexpected twist and turns, so far it seems like a straight road. But we're just one chapter into the story, so it's too early to judge the plot of the story.
Also, there are a lot of punctuation errors in the story. There were few mistakes in grammar, but a whole LOT of punctuation errors, that definitely disturb the reading experience. So, I hope you can look into that.

Overall, the story seems promising and I'm expecting an adventorous ride.
All the best!

Could be better

It is certainly an interesting read. I like the plot, the characterization, the pacing and the way it has been written. The plot is quite unique and not something that you'd expect to find commonly. And the journals and letters that have been written in first person POV provide a good insight into the story.

Although, I'd say that the author can try to amplify the ominosity of the situation. So far into the story, the 'incidents' that should be disturbing are quite subtle. It's not a bad thing actually. It creates an eerie effect, sure. But I think this book needs a little more unexpected plot twists and maybe more vivid descriptions.

Overall, I'd say that this is a unique book that requires a little polishing, but is certainly worth reading.

Babies are not so cute after all

I love the narration, plot, characterization, fluidity, pace and a lot of things. The way it is narrated makes the scene alive and it is so effective that it makes your expressions change without you knowing. I was almost sad for Chris. So that's definitely good.

But there are a few things that I'd like to point out. Firstly, there are a lot of problems in the text; mostly contextual. It disturbs the reading experience. But it's not something that can't be rectified after editing. Also, you need to see how you present your content. At times, the paragraphs aren't divided properly which makes it difficult to read.
Apart from it, I think the book is great and I would love to read more from the author.

Good book, can become better

Beginning with the things I liked: The pacing is just how it should be, perfectly balanced. The plot is definitely interesting. The characters are more interesting. The author's writing style really lets you enter the mind of the protagonists. The descriptions are lucid and fluid. And it is slow burn!

Things I think need some work:
1. Even though the descriptions are lively, they take a little too much space. Sometimes, the descriptions are odd too. For example, wouldn't it feel unnatural to just keep on talking to yourself about why you are hurt? Or as if you're telling your own story to yourself. The thing is, the story should be descriptive but it shouldn't feel like reading a diary entry.
2. Characterization: The female protagonist was characterized beautifully. I could picture her as a real person. I would like to give an example here: in the last chapter (in James's POV), when Susan starts defending herself, he calls her 'a debater' in his mind. Just this thing tells me that debating is kind of a character trait for Susan. She uses it to such an extent that it acts as a defence mechanism without her even realizing. So that's great.
But the male protagonist? I still think he's 2D. But since it's a slow burn romance, taking time to develop a character isn't a bad idea. So, you need not worry much about it.
3. Between the descriptions by the characters and what is actually happening, I got kind of lost. So, I'd suggest that you try to build the setting too. Tell us how things look, how they smell, how they feel, so we'd know that the characters actions and their thoughts are simultaneous.
4. There were a few technical mistakes here and there. But it's nothing that can't be fixed by editing.

Overall, I'd say that even though the book still needs some work, it's amazing. It's definitely worth a read and anyone who comes across it should read it.

I see potential

I like the plot so far, and the buildup is nice too. It keeps you wondering and hooked till the end. The characterization has been done wuite nicely too. The author's writing style can make you hate or love someone, which is a great thing.

But there are some problems with the story that need to be improved:
1. Pacing: The plot seems rushed now. . The author should take more time to draw out the fine details and smoothen the rough edges.
2. Descriptions: I think the wuthor should add more descriptions of the setting or people around the main character to make it more lively.
3. Grammar and punctuation: There are problems with grammar, specially with the helping verb. But it is nothing that can't be rectified with some editing.
I hope this was of some help. I believe that if the author keeps trying, then they will surely improve. All the best!

I AM SHOOK!

I absolutely loved the book. The different themes somehow interconnected, always leave you thinking and introspecting. Everthing has been described vividly, and the exaggeration is subtle and alluring. The descriptions and the structure are smooth and lucid. The writing style of the author is commendable too. Every story leaves me asking for more.

The only problem I have is with the punctuation and other small mistakes, that can be easily removed.

Apart from it, the book is as amazing as it gets. It's impactful and worth giving a shot.

An enjoyable read

It was one hell of a good book. Usually, I don't read fantasy, but I am glad that I read this one. The author has some commendable writing skills. The descriptions are smooth, and the flow is nicely maintained. The character development is well too. The plot was certainly new and something that I hadn't come across before.
The only problems I have are, 1. Sometimes, the descriptions get a little too much, more than that is required. 2. There are a few punctuation and other mistakes, which sort of break the flow.

But overall, it's an enjoyable read, and I would say, one should certainly give it a try.

Beautiful!

It was a beautiful and heart warming short story and I would even go to the extent of saying that I loved it. The transitions between past and present were smooth and nothing seemed odd or out of place. Especially the first chapter was wonderful! It's ability to make me feel a number of emotions in a single chapter, with just some words, is amazing.
I just have a few things to say though. There were a few mistakes in the second chapter, which can be easily removed if you go through it once. Also, even though I really liked your writing style, I would say that you could've used a stronger language (like metaphors or use of words that we don't use in daily life) when describing their present situation. It is good now, but I think it would become better if a better description of Ryan's and Christina's present situation was described, so that we could 'feel' their pain.
Apart from it, it's just beautiful. That's all I have to say.

Absolutely mesmerising

A beautiful beautiful work. The words each express a story of their own. The poet has given a lot of thought in their work to make them make sense and express. It has been nicely penned too. All the poems express a deep emotion and leaves you with a million thoughts racing through your mind. Also, the language is just apt! It's neither too simple, nor too flowery, which makes it easy to read and understand ad enhances it's beauty.
Although, I do have somethings to point out. The poet uses free verse a lot. So, it's my personal suggestion that they should try writing in other rhyming schemes too. Other than that, I think they should also try to use more poetic devices and not just enjambment. Apart from that, they could also try to arrange certain words, so that they make more impact and try to improve the punctuation too.
Apart from it, I just have three other words to say: I loved it!

Can improve

The plot is certainly intriguing, no denying that. It's gripping and has enough twists to keep you hooked.
The problem with the story was the way it was executed. The POVs changed abruptly, the use of possesive pronouns was not taken care of and there were many punctuation errors too. So these mistakes, do disturb the reading experience.
But you can easily rectify them all by going through the story a few times. And you can even take the help of the apps.
That's all I have to say.
Happy writing!

Connects deeply with your soul

I absolutely connected with the poem at a personal level. The way it has been written and what is written makes a lot of sense. It leaves the reader with a mysterious mix of emotions. The words and the lines have been well thought about too.
There were a couple mistakes, which when rectified, will make it even more impactful.
But I have to admit I totally loved the poem.

Deep!

The author has written really nicely. Gone into the depths of the topic to explain what depression truly is. And they have also succeeded in giving out the message. A great lot of emotions dealt with in a few lines.
But I think, there are some things that one can do to improve the poem. Like replacing the words, you can replace the existing words with their better synonyms. You can add some poetic devices. Writing in free verse is a strong poetic device in itself, which has been utilised wisely. But I think, it could be improved with repetition, metaphors or alliteration (that's all just my opinion).
Overall, I think it's a great poem to read if you want something to think about. It gives a strong message that the poet has managed to portray vividly.

An Ah-mazing read!

I like a lot of things about this story. Even in one chapter, the author managed to convey a lot of emotions and thoughts. I like the blurb, the plot, the cover, the buildup, the suspense factor and the author's writing style too. But what I like the most is the way it has been written and presented. Word play is nice too and I never felt bored even for a second. The fact that author has managed to maintain suspense throughout the story also makes it an intriguing read. What's more is it makes the reader think about their own lives and reflect upon it. The reader can feel the things happening in this story: like how we are misjudged or how me misjudge, our relationship with others and our portrayal of ourselves. So I have to say, the author has done an amazing job of capturing many emotions.
The only thing I felt off was about the grammatical errors. They were nothing major and nothing that disturb the reading experience, but they can be corrected. It would make the story even better.
It was a great read indeed!

An eerie delight

I really love the plot and the concept. It's something fresh and new. Like unexplored stuff. And with the way its written, it really seems as if I have entered a new world and a strange being is telling me about herself. And did I mention that I also am intrigued by the book cover?
The only few things I found off were, that it had some mistakes. Just a few in each chapter. Not that it disturbs the reading experience, but it is noticeable. Also at times I just felt confused. Certain transitions were odd or out of place. So if you can re-arrange the sentences or maybe change them in a way that it is not too twisted, then it might become easier to understand.
But what I really love about this book is its dark humor. The protagonist just remarks at things which we humans wouldn't speak of much often, and she does it in such a way that it leaves you thinking. And the messages hidden behind those words make a lot of sense.
So I think that author has done a great job of not only story telling, but also making the reader realize things that are wrong or is thought of as wrong (hence giving a message to improve the human kind) and leaves them wondering.

Worth reading

I'll begin with the things I like. The plot is quite predictable, but the efforts that the author has shown to improve it are clearly evident, and that's something I admire. The descriptions are smooth, and flow nicely. Also, the story gives a message and manages to portray it nicely too. And that I think is commendable that the author is giving out the right message, and not misleading the readers.
Now coming to the things I think require some work. Firstly, the characters seem a little blunt. The character development is surely there, but they need something more to solidify them as 'real people'. The writing can be improved too, along with punctuation (though, there're not many punctuation mistakes) and choice of words. Even though the descriptions flow smoothly, more can be added. Descriptions about the setting, how the places look, how they feel, can add a lot to the story.
I am sure that the author can improve and make the book a better version of itself. Overall, as for the book right now, I think that it is good and worth reading.

PS: You're free to delete my review, if you disagree with me, think I am wrong or I am the only fool that didn't like your story that much, just like you deleted my comment (yes, I keep track of such things).
All the best!

One can't be a writer, if they don't know what it means and brings with it.

Okay so I do understand that it's a work in progress, with only 5 chapters in and it's not good manners that I complain about the technical mistakes now. So, let me start with the things I like.
I like the plot. I mean the concept on which it is built is certainly intriguing. It's different than your typical best friend romances, and I like it for that. A fresh concept. And I am sure, it's only going to become more interesting.
But I feel that author has a lot to improve. Apart from the general typos, spelling, tenses, punctuation mistakes that we all make, the work still seems a bit amateur. First off, I don't think that the characterization of the female lead, has been done properly. It's like she's a weak girl, who wants to but doesn't stand up for herself. People need a strong chacracter. Sure she has her own flaws, but that too needs to be built properly. And the details are important. Throughtout the story, I noticed that you confused the color of the eyes, the names and things like that.
But I do think, that the author can improve. And after all, it has just started. I am sure, that's it's gonna be one awesome read.
I will keep updating my review as the story progresses.

Edit: I had to reduce the stars to one, because the author doesn't seem to understand something important that every writer should. CONSENT IS IMPORTANT! You can't just write in your story that the male lead kisses the female lead thrice, without her permission. Even though you mkae it sound like she enjoyed it, it doesn't justify what the male lead did. As writers, it's important that we understand our responsibility and don't write anything that gives out the wrong message. It's only to kisses in this story, but it migt turn into forced intercourse in someone else's story. One might think I am just exaggerating, but it is indeed something important.