The Diaries of Sex, Secrets & Seductions of Amb
Not a bad idea for a storyline, however, your placements of commas were hazardously done and the placement of characters talking within the long paragraphs has caused a little confusion and difficulty with getting into the story.
Read the story now
To better this, I would recommend beginning a new paragraph when a character speaks, when the subject or camera angle changes. I would also recommend taking away the brackets as they are not needed, there is the ability to write words in italics on this app/website if needed. Also the censoring of yourself is unneeded as you have shown and picked the age rating of your book, if you are not comfortable with the cursing in your book, maybe do not write them?
Keep up the good work and brainstorming for book ideas!