Kali Lynn

Awesome

I love this story so much. Everything about this story is amazing from the characters to the incredible way it is written to keep the readers enticed to read more and more. Definitely a binge-able story. Adam reminds me of some other "bad boy" type characters from other stories but in a good way, but he is also so different from others and that makes him an even better character. There were some technical errors with grammar, punctuation and wording. But other than that, this story is incredible and I'll definitely be waiting on the edge of my seat for the next chapter.

Awesome!

While I haven't really read anything like this, I've throughly enjoyed this story so far and can't wait to find out what happens next. Especially with the last chapter in Nolan's point of view, it's left me intrigued, curious of what his involvement in all this is. I have not read a dream sequence this methodical and well written ever, and I applaud you. Dreams are hard af to write, and you've done an amazing job. Everything about this story keeps you on the edge of your toes, ready to read more. Good luck in the contest and I can't wait to read more. There were some grammatical/missing words, but I know you're going to be editing soon and it's to be expected with a fresh draft, happens to me all the time. Keep writing, you're doing great!

Devilish Secrets

I think this story has the potential to be great. The idea and plot definitely is creative and the beginning really lures the reader in to keep on reading. I can't wait to read more. There are some grammatical and other errors of that nature which can go away with some editing. Maybe add some more details and there are some issues with paragraph spacing but other than that, good start! Keep writing!

Holy Shit!!

Okay, I really only have one thing to say but holy shit! This novel is a masterpiece. Yes, there were a few grammatical/spelling errors but it does not detract from the story in the slightest. It reads like an old school mystery novel, like the character is from that time period, writing this story for the modern times. From the actions, to the speech and word choice, it reads like an old school mystery novel. You are a fantastic author and I can not wait to read more of the story. Keep writing!

Brimstone

I'm about to start chapter 5 and I already love this story. I can not wait to read on and see how this all folds. I do like how she's supposed to be all powerful yet people do not already fall at her feet because it, to me, is more unique and allows room for her to grow. I'm really excited to see how the relationship between Gabriel and Kas grows and evolves throughout the story since they already seem to click so well. You're an amazing writer. Keep up the good work!

The Halfway Perfect Town

I've enjoyed the story so far. Your use of the narrator being a more popular girl is unique, especially with a lot of stories online being told differently. I can not wait to read more and see how the plot develops. There were some grammatical and punctuation errors especially concerning dialogue and missing punctuation, but that can be fixed with proofreading. Maybe add some more detail and also keep in mind with dialogue, use a new paragraph when the speaker changes otherwise it can get confusing. Also, just wondering but how is one girl able to drive her friends to school freshman year? I dont know if you mentioned it, but freshman where I live is 14 and kids can't get their license then. But I really enjoyed this story so far and can't wait to keep reading. You're a great writer from what I've read. Keep writing!

My Past and Present

The plot is definitely interesting (btw her and Collin are who I ship in the story, sorry but Dave is kinda a douche as of rn) and the way you've structured your story reminds me of a script especially with the dialogue. There are some grammar, punctuation and spelling issues but nothing some proofreading won't fix. A suggestion, maybe add some more description and action so readers can get a better feel of the characters, setting and stuff like that. Overall, nice story and keep writing!

Its Different

This is definitely different than anything I've read before. I'm curious as to see where you choose to go with this story next. There are a few technical mistakes that can be fixed with a proofread. But a great start, especially for a hobby writer. Keep on writing!

I freaking love this book

Okay, I'm only on Chapter 6 but I freaking love this book so so much! I'm so going to read the rest of the story, but I didn't want to make you wait so long for a review. This is one of the best stories I've read on a website like this probably ever. It is so well written and I have not found any mistakes at all. Your writing style is so amazing and so full of emotion even so early on. I have a feeling I might cry at the end and I dont usually cry reading books. The way you match things going on in the real world to meld them as a seamless transition to a memory is so creative and works so well, showing your strength as a writer. Your writing and story is amazing and I can't wait to continue reading! Keep on writing!

Broken Princess

Your main character, ella, is definitely a strong female protagonist, which is great to see. Definitely breaks the stereotype of men typically being the heir in those type of situations. But your details are choppy and don't entirely flow most of the time and the action/plot at times seems like it comes completely out of left field/doesnt match up to what you have displayed early on and a lot of the dialogue seems forced and not entirely natural. There are quite a few grammatical errors and punctuation errors plus some things that wouldn't fly in the real world New York. But your story seems to have quite the following, which is great. Not really my taste in stories, but keep writing!

Good start

The story is definitely a good start. There were a few grammatical errors including what seemed like an unfinished sentence on the second to last paragraph of the first chapter and some run on sentences. The idea is unique. I've never seen a concept quite like this before. The voice matches the time era especially with excellent diction to match. Good luck with the rest of the story, this is a good start.

Nice

This is a very good start. I really haven't read any stories like this before, but the dialogue seems very realistic like this characters are actually apart of the world. There are some technical errors in punctuation and some sentence structure errors, but that can be fixed with editing. Like you said, it is unedited. One suggestion, maybe add more sensory and emotional details. I know this may sound schoolish, but try and show a little more rather than tell. Your idea is unique and I can't wait to read more and see it unfold. Your book is great so far. Keep writing, you're doing great!

Good Start

I like the beginning of the novel so far. I see where you might plan to go with the story, but I think this could unfold pretty interestingly. There are some instances of punctuation and grammar issues, but nothing is perfect. Some of the sentences and paragraphs doesn't always flow and feels a little choppy to me. Some details feel a little out of place and I also caution against using the same word a few times in a paragraph/sentence because it can feel repetitive/deter some. For a first novel on here and for a beginning, it's a good start and I can't wait to see where you are going with this story.

Awesome

You're characters just jump off the screen. No chapter is ever not important, with every word counting towards some part of the plot, character development or anything. I liked the back and forth point of views with Will and Tristian (I think I spelled that right idk) and how different they are but yet still love the same girl. I can't wait for more updates, definitely going to read until the end.