Bianca Heinz-Kurstermann

Enjoyable

Original plot and very well written.
Characters are realistically described, and the story flows with an excellent readability.
There is something I'd edit (I'd never begin a sentence with "to"), but I guess it is all that I can say about grammar, punctuation and writing style.
Paragraphs too are well divided.
Good reading.

It's dark outside

It's dark, and darkness is everywhere. Ok. I got it. "Show, don't tell" is my advice. Too many questions. The writer should let the reader think about all the questions He/she shouldn't be afraid that we don't understand. We are not that dumb.
I don't know if the story has potential since I quit after the ninth "Dark/Darkness" in barely four short paragraphs. The reader feels overwhelmed by "dark/darkness" redundancy and unwanted questions.
I'm sorry. I don't like to write such ruthless reviews, but I'd like to read this story once edited.
Good luck,
Bianca

Funny

Beautiful story. I had fun reading it. Description and writing style are quite good, although the dots (I'd reduce their usage). In the beginning, I wanted to understand more about the story, and then I realised I had read three chapters in an eye-blink.

It has potential, but needs a good polishing

I was curious about the title. Unfortunately, the short blurb and missing punctuation and dialogues tags didn't help me to understand much about the plot. Paragraphing is pace-styled. Although those issues that should be edited, the writing style is quite good. However, it emerges after a few chapters. The story becomes hooky to late, but it has potential.

Interesting reading

The plot is delicate and although that, the writer has been able to describe easily the feelings of the character. I guess it's a good book to read to think about women's issues related to their fragilities and their strengths.

Good reading

The plot is absolutely exciting. I began reading the book thanks to the blurb.
It is well written and fast-paced story.
I'd recommend it because it describes well the scenes and I can understand easily what's happening.
Characters are well "painted" and realistic.
I like it.

It can work with a good editing

Plot is original and the story is hooking but,
there are too many dots...and dots should be always three.
Thoughts everywhere, maybe too many for a third-person pov.
I guess it has potential because I am curious to know what will happen. However, I'd like to read it misprints-free and with coherence in pov-inner-outer vision.

I don't know...I need to read more

When I read the blurb, I thought "why?".
The plot sounds unrealistic, mostly for a thriller/sci-fi.
I read it anyway because I am curious about anything that involves supernatural. Grammar and punctuation are set unruled, in particular on dialogues and mostly absent in descriptions.
Dialogues sound unrealistic. I was aware for the all reading-time "ok. This is fiction." A book should be able to hook the reader and let him/her forget that the world is reading about is "real".
Don't know, I didn't enjoy it, and nonetheless, I'd like to read more to see if it has potential.

I'm curious to read other chapters

I like the beginning. It hooked me, and I am curious to read more. The writing style is readable, and so punctuation and the dialogues. Maybe rewriting helped to have an enjoyable story that I can read without distractions.

Good but needs commas

Time-travelling vampire? I thought I heard all about them. However, I have to say that the story flows well. I read a lot of chapters without noticing the hour (and now it's the dead of the night :P).
Nice if you want to spend easy hours, with free mind.

And now, critics :P

Few refusal mistakes should be correct to avoid distraction for readers (i.e. dots are three/dialogues formatting). I'd cut brackets infos or rewrite them because I like to know the character during the story in a natural way. But most of all commas are missing. Comma help the reader to breathe.
Good writing
Bianca

Good but needs editing

Despite I don't like "But" at the beginning of sentences or blurb, I have to say that the story is interesting.
A few commas would help the reader to breath and it can work. Same thing for paragraph formatting.
A second read will get the story more readable and hooking.
Keep going on writing!
Bianca

Excerpt not bad

The story so far interested me enough to wish to continue reading.
I found few mistakes in punctuation and grammar but a good editing and polishing should get the story more enjoyable.
I read it's an excerpt but I'd be curious to read the all story. that's why I gave only three stars to the plot, I can't figure it all out, I'm still missing few things.
Good reading :)
Bianca