No Holding Back

Feeling the heart beat against my chest,

Forces me to remember am not dead.

I just can't forget the smile that he put on,

How he gave me everything ,

And held back nothing.

Just the day I went to pour my heart to him,

To greet him with the news that he always wanted to hear.

Too bad that I wanted the surity he was sure,

How stupid I was to not trust him enough,

Bcz I never met him when I reached his place,

He left me, how much I wish he had ditched me,

Instead he was dead and now I can't found no way near him.

Knowing the devil lover boy he was, I knew he never would have been in heaven,

So I just wanted to meet him in hell back then,

I craved to be dead to meet him in afterlife,

But his baby, our baby is an understatement of hope.

I just feel my blurry eyes everytime,

When I look upto same deep brown eyes,

That I used to love who never had time to know how much I loved him, how much I love him, and oh! I ever will.

I knew every second of our lives,

How he adored me,

I just wanted the same that day,

To make him feel loved and wanted,

But was met with the cold body,

Body of the same man, MY MAN.

And I can never forgive myself,

EVER to not let him know how much,

How freaking much I loved him,

With every single piece of my heart,

With every single breath I take,

And how it grew everytime he smiled to me.

That day gives me chill to date,

Ever it will do the same.

I can never ask him for another chance,

That day I learnt what life is-

NO HOLDING BACK.