Relive

"I love the storyline, however, it takes intelligence to unravel the content to your advantage. It was a beautiful story and will make an interesting read when completed. However, I have a few suggestions to make. You must watch your grammar structure and punctuation. Some connecting words are missing perhaps for the rush to put down your ideas on paper. I am sure you can fix it by taking a closer look at your sentences like an editor. Your build-up was fast, maybe that was why I didn't get it from the start, unfold the story naturally and gradually for ease. I guess you understand what I meant? Overall, I love the story. Good work, Peace."