“I don’t want to be the kind of person that says you need to choose, Greer.” Bash tells me, his eyes looking me over sadly. I can’t believe this is happening. I hadn’t tricked myself into believing that Bash and I were fine, that Kaleb wasn’t an issue. I should’ve known that it couldn’t last though. Nothing good ever lasts for too long in my life. “I don’t think you know how you feel just yet. The thing is, I do. I want to be more than just this, Greer. But we can’t be that until you figure out whatever is going on with Kale.”
Tears trailed down my cheeks now. “I want that too, Bash, trust me I do. And maybe you’re right, I don’t exactly know how I feel. But I don’t want to lose what we have.”
He sighs, “I don’t want to either. But I care and respect you too much to not let you figure things out first.” He looks down at the pizza on the table. “Did you want to take this with you? I’m not really hungry anymore.”
“I have to go back to class,” I say softly.
“Right.” He nods. “You should probably get back to class.”
I nod and stand uneasily to my feet. I feel shaky and drained now. Bash leads me out of the restaurant silently. He walks me to my car and opens my door for me. When I slip inside, he stands outside a moment longer looking down on me. “I’m sorry, Greer.”
“No, you don’t need to be sorry, Bash,” I tell him. “You’re a great guy.”
“I’ll be here when you figure it out, you know that right?” He asks.
“Of course.” I nod. “I’ve got to go.”
“Bye, Greer.” He tells me as he shuts my door.
I try to keep it together as I pull away from Bash. I don’t want him to see me cry even more. I watch him in my rear-view mirror for a moment. He looks just as defeated as I feel. It takes me only a few minutes to make it back to school. I sit in my car few a more minutes, trying to calm my racing heart. I dry up the tears that are still streaming down my cheeks.
When I finally make it to my last classes of the day, I barely pay attention to what my teachers are saying. Adam tries to ask me what’s wrong. but I tell him I don’t want to talk about it. The day passes in a haze. Before I know it, I’m walking out of the building towards my car.
I don’t wait around for Adam. I back quickly out of my parking spot and drive towards my house. I want nothing more than to roll up in my bed and forget today ever happened. Leo’s truck is parked in the driveway when I pull up. When I enter the house, he’s seated as always at the dining room table surrounded by files. His head snaps up to look at me and he gives me a smile. “How was school?”
“Great,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
Leo notices, “Greer, what happened?”
“I broke up with my boyfriend.” I tell him without thinking as I slip into my room. I’d told Leo I didn’t have a boyfriend. I’d been honest about it too. I hadn’t considered Bash my boyfriend until he was dumping me.
Leo doesn’t follow me as I shut myself into my room. I’m thankful for it. I don’t want to hear a lecture right now. I couldn’t deal with all of Leo’s persistent questions. I throw my bag down and plop myself face down onto my pillow.
I fall asleep quickly to tears streaming down my face.
I wake up to a crack sound. It’s not very loud, but it’s persistent and annoying. I ignore it for a moment, wanting to slip back into my dreams, but the sound comes again. I sit up quickly, looking around for the sound. It comes again. My eyes snap to my window. The crack comes again.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I groan and step towards my window.
When I look out my window, someone is standing in my yard under my window. It’s dark so I can’t see who it is. We stare at each other for a moment before they back away from my window and disappear into the night. My heart is racing.
I run across my room to find my phone. My fingers scroll through my contacts to find Adam’s name. I press dial and my friend picks up on the fourth ring. “Greer, hey.”
“Where are you right now?” I ask quickly.
There’s silence on his end for a moment, “At home doing homework, why?” I fly across my room and pull my curtains closed. Then I fumble for my light switch and turn my light on. I make sure all my windows are locked before calming down a little. “Greer, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Someone was just outside my window.” My voice is frantic.
“What?” He sounds just as worried. “What are you talking about?”
“I fell asleep and when I woke up someone was throwing rocks or something at my window. When I looked out, there was someone in my yard.”
“Who was it?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t see.”
“Okay, calm down. Maybe it was Bash? Did you try to call him?” Adam asks me.
“We kind of broke up earlier.” I sigh, resting back on my bed.
“What? Are you okay?”
“I don’t really know how I feel right now. I didn’t even realize we were dating until he broke up with me.” I sighed.
“So, maybe it was him. Maybe he wanted to talk about it, but regretted it the moment he did.” He explained. “That makes sense, right?”
“Yeah, yeah it could’ve been him,” I say, relieved.
“See? No need to freak out.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “Now, why did Bash break up with you?”
“You’re not going to believe me when I tell you.” I laugh dryly. “He broke up with me because of Kaleb.”
“Actually, I can believe it. Kaleb has caused a lot of problems with a lot of people.”
“It wasn’t Kaleb’s fault though.” I try to explain. “It was mine.”
“I’m not following?”
“He broke up with me because he thinks I have unresolved feelings for Kaleb. He says I need to figure it out before he can be with me.”
Adam breaks into a laugh, “You’re kidding me, right? Did you tell him you hate him?”
“I tried,” I say, but it doesn’t sound convincing.
“Well, give him some time.”
“Yeah, okay.” I lay back onto my bed, staring up at my ceiling. “I’m going to go, okay? I’ll talk to you for school tomorrow.”
“Alright, see ya.” He hangs up the phone.
I toss my phone on the ground beside me, breathing out a heavy sigh. I check my clock and see that’s almost nine o’clock. My nap after school had been a lot longer than expected. I can’t believe I slept that long. I know Leo must be asleep already. He goes to bed early so he can get up earlier for work the next morning.
For the first time since my parents died, I’d been happy. I had Adam and he made me forget about my crappy situation. He made me happy. Now, I didn’t have him to distract me. I had Adam, but he had his own life. He couldn’t be here all the time to keep my mind off the dark thoughts.
I was back to hating the silence again.