Chapter 5 - Stuck
“Fuck, I can’t move my legs!” Mark said in a sort of laughing tone with some building concern. I fell back on my butt and started laughing too and laughed and laughed. I couldn’t stop laughing. It was one of those moments you always remember between friends where you both get the giggles and then when you think you are going to be able to stop laughing, the other person laughs even more which in turn starts you laughing again. Hopefully everyone has experience a moment like that during their childhood or during high school or college. It was a moment to remember forever.
Mark and I had been horsing around on the bike trails in our neighborhood and he had accidently walked out into this really thick mud. One minute he was standing next to me and then the next, well the next; he was sinking and couldn’t get himself out. Before I realized what was happening, the mud he had wondered into was now all the way up past his knees. I had never seen anything like it and I think the grasp of this mud surprised Mark as it much as it did me. Well maybe a little more for Mark since he was stuck in it and sinking. Yea, now that I think about it, definitely Mark was more surprised than me.
“Man I am fucking sinking and I’m not slowing down any. What the fuck?” he said as now I was the main one that was still laughing hysterically. He continued, “My mom is going to fucking kill me.”
“Well folks, what we have here is what we call a situation,” I said laughing uncontrollably.
“No man, really! Look at this shit. I am fucking sinking!! Fuck man, it’s already up past my balls!” Mark said, finally getting his laughing under control and then actually stopping laughing all together. This is when I first saw a little fear begin to develop across his face. He started looking all around, taking everything in that he saw, and assessing his predicament. I think he realized he was completely screwed unless I helped him. He looked helpless. I liked it. I liked it a lot…
“Settle down now young Pilgrim” I said. We had just talked about the Pilgrims the day before in school. Our teacher was pretty cool and told us the actual first documented words the Indians said to the Pilgrims were, “Welcome, do you have beer?” Both Mark and I thought that was pretty cool. We had taken a few beers here and there from his dad’s cooler in his man cave at his house. I didn’t really like the taste of beer but Mark seemed to.
“Never fear, Daniel is here to save the day!” I sung happily. That’s when I realized Mark was now up past his waist in mud and the mud wasn’t slowing down any. It was like this goo I had
played with one time in science class. It was taking over mark and if I didn’t do something, I don’t know when or if it would have stopped. It was like the quick sand you see in the movies but this wasn’t a movie. This was just two dumb kids out playing and now, well now playtime was over.
So I pulled, and pulled, and pulled some more. And then, I had to pull even more. Finally, Mark was out, free from the grasp of the mud. I had never seen mud hold on to someone like it held onto Mark. It was like the super of super glues or something. This, this is when I realized Mark’s shoes, socks, shorts and underwear were now no longer on his body. The mud had let Mark go but it didn’t let everything he was wearing into the mud leave. He was naked from the waist down, but covered in the thick mud. At that moment, I almost became physically ill due to laughing so hard. I have never laughed that hard in my life and still haven’t to this day. I couldn’t stop laughing and that actually scared me. I mean I had laughed pretty hard in my time so far as a kid, but that day was something special.
“Man, you’re fucking naked except for your shirt. Did the mud eat your pecker too because I think it’s gone also”, I said crying as I laughed.
“Oh man, I am fucked, fucked, fucked!” Mark said crying a little and then laughing uncontrollably at the same time.
“Yes, Yes YES you are!” as I rolled over and laughed some more…