I Get Shot Into Space Because I Don't Want To Be A Bitch
Every kid says when they’re young that they want to be an astronaut. But they never really think of how fucking scary that shit is, like, you’re literally in the middle of nothing, in a suit thats not even guaranteed to keep you alive, the closest help is a few hundred miles away and there’s a bunch of debris thats orbiting earth at like what? A few hundred miles per hour, that shit will tear you apart. Scary-ass shit dude.
Anyways, I never really wanted to be one, but you know, a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. Plus, can’t be looking like a pussy, or else you’ll never live that down. Anyways, thats all that went through my head as the President briefed us on our “secret mission” to defend a research base on the moon. Cool shit, huh? There was also another augmentation that we had to do to our bodies to be able to do this. And this was a eye calibration thingie.
Basically what it did was it turned our left eye into a sort of interface, where we could direct things that were connected to the little computer chip in our brains that also happened to be connected to the tattoos. So with it we could type messages by our eye movements and in particularly we could direct smart bullets and computerized missiles with our eyes. We would need this to be able to accomplish the space mission. Normally, they would send the very best pilots up there, but they were already short on those, and we were already augmented with prototype tech, so why not test more on us? We were also supposed to take out a small prototype colony that had been set up on the opposite side of the moon.
Fuck, I don’t know shit anymore, I just sent to wherever some dudes need killing. I kissed Anna as we went into separate rooms to be prepped for the surgery. We mentally communicated until they put us to sleep, after all that it was just black.
Antarctica is cold as fuck, I’ll tell you that much. The VTOL closed its rear door behind us as we walked towards the entrance to the walkway leading to the spaceships. They had been dubbed Jack and Jill after the tale because they were mean looking motherfuckers. Not that they weren’t beautiful pieces of machinery, they were sleek and advanced looking. We climbed the dozens of flights of stairs up to the catwalk where we would finally board the ships. Once there Anna split off to go to her own ship I gave a thumbs up and maneuvered myself into the cockpit.
The cockpit closed around me until it became dark, the whirring stopped. All of a sudden lights flickered on all around me, and soon I was surrounded by the outside world. My guess was that cameras surrounded the cockpit and gave me almost a three-sixty view all around, giving me a better line of sight. I grinned, never mind about the scary shit, this was cool. A small patch of skin right above my ear vibrated then stopped, a voice entered my head, it was the President.
“Alright, looks like you’re settled. Now, one thing I do have to say is that never let anything hit the top part of the cockpit. That layer is the thinnest, and if it is damaged you will lose control of the ship and you will die. We will keep in touch through the ear system, and we will now begin your eye calibration testing.” Silence set in until my eye began to itch,” Look to the top left of your view while facing forward.”
I followed the direction,“Good, now to the top right.” Again I followed the direction. It continued to the bottom left, bottom right, and finally directly to the middle. Finally the calibration was done.“Now, if you look up and down quickly you will pull up the keyboard system to be able to send messages. Play around with it until you get the hang of it. Launch will be in one hour.”
The connection was cut and Anna and I messed around with sending messages, quickly getting the hang of it. We shot jokes back and forth until the connection came back. We looked down then up to close the keyboard and the message board. The President gave us a few more pointers then a joystick popped up from between my feet.“We will keep control over the ship until your are within 400 klicks from the station. You will be going faster than the average ship, and you will have zero G at all times.”
“It will take you excactly one day to get to the station, then you will have to wait until the attack comes. There is a mini fridge to your bottom right, you can make it appear with a push of a button on the right side of your seat. The packages are packed tightly, and it should not matter what you choose. Do NOT let any of the packages out into the cockpit during flight.” The ship began to vibrate as a countdown started, a small clock appeared at the top right of my vision. :58, :57, :56, it continued on. I could feel Anna’s excitement melding with my own, before we knew it we felt gravity push down on us as we lifted off.
I drifted in and out of consciousness as we exited the atmosphere, and entered into space. Finally it became smooth sailing, I shook my head to get rid of the grogginess. The thrusters flared and went to full thrust. I looked around me, taking in my first view of space. My God it was bland and sort of beautiful.
The President’s voice came through my head again,“I would advise putting your helmet on, as you are now in a constant gamble of life and death.” I swallowed, well fuck this. I looked around for it, finding it clipped to the back of the seat, I pulled it on and sealed in place. These suits were way less bulky than the old space suits, and the helmet wasn’t just a big dome, it was sort of like a video game helmet. Actually, now that I think of it, a lot of this was something out of a video game.
I pulled up the keyboard and messaged Anna for the rest of the flight to the moon. I fell asleep for a few hours until the President’s voice woke me up, alerting me to the immediate authorization of control. I grasped the stick and prepared to take control of the craft. It jerked as I gained control I pulled up and sped up using the little thrust control on the left of the joystick. I did a barrel roll, an inside loop, an outside loop, and all the other maneuvers we were told to do to get a feel for it.
Despite being a slightly big ass war craft it moved well, and was only a bit bigger than a F-35. Its weapons included 6 non recoil gatling guns on the direct sides, a small swivel turret that was similar to a A-10′s 30 mm gatling gun, 8 small air-to-air missile launchers, and in the rear a small laser turret that automatically locks on to anything not registered to the database withing one klick. Also there was a flare countermeasure that could be deployed multiple times.
We probably weren’t going to die on this mission. But you know, theres always a risk, one lucky bullet could end everything. We tested all the systems and flight checks, we flew once around the station to get a situation check on the surface. Finally we were ready and we landed inside a crater, turning off all the unnecessary systems so we wouldn’t raise suspicion. We ate a bit, and got some caffeine injections, we had to stay up or else we could jeopardize the mission.
Finally we got the alert of bogies inbound. We started up the ships, flaring the thrusters, lifting off and speeding into battle. I jerked my chin forward, switching to the missiles. I locked my eyes on the closest enemy; a slight vibration in my eyelid alerted me that I had locked I winked twice to send two missiles at the target. I hit the enemy as I neared them, and the explosion enveloped me as I flew through where the ship had just been. Holy fuck this shit is cool, I noticed another enemy had been exploded, with Anna also passing through.
I could feel little tugs all around me, I looked to my left, and realized that the tugs were where enemy ships were. A few bullets struck my wing, startling me. I barrel rolled and cut the engine and snapped around, switching to the forward guns and shredding the enemy to bits. Thats gotta hurt.
I spotted five more ships coming in from the side as I destroyed yet another enemy. I veered off from the group already there and went to give a welcoming party to the new guys. I felt a tug at the top of my head so hard tears sprang into my eyes, I snapped my head up. A enemy fighter had done a loop to get above me and was about to shoot down right into the cockpit. The President’s voice shouted into my head to evade but I wasn’t fast enough.
I could literally feel the pull of the trigger to end my life, it was like I was in slow motion, watching the bullets fly towards me. Then time went back to normal when Anna’s ship flew inverted above me, taking the brunt of the shots at the last second. I flipped my ship vertical and blasted into the guy, utterly destroying him. Again I had been saved by Anna, and again I could not adequately express my love for her. The President gave a sigh of relief,“Thank God for women.” I nodded and the fight continued, it was almost a slaughter.
Yet another wave came out of nowhere, causing us to sigh. A small portion of the station had been destroyed, and there had been two deaths. We were still under the acceptable casualties, but we needed to end this, now. The waves seemed to be getting smaller, as now there was only two that came at us. We breezed through them, and made a bee-line towards the enemy base. We would be the death from above.
This was when we learned that the turret guns were filled with explosive rounds. They shouldn’t have told us that. Who the fuck doesn’t love to play with fire and/or explosives, we were going to raze the base to the ground. We soon came within sight of the base, we did a quick scan, searching for hidden areas either underground or masked. We found only one, in the middle, there was a large heat signature coming off of it, so it must’ve been the main generator.
We went in for a strafe, shredding an outer edge of the base. We turned around for another when the President’s voice came through,“Alright, thats enough. They’ve surrendered. They will leave the base immediately. Just stay around and watch them.” We stilled, watching, waiting. Shuttles began to leave as sections of the station shut off, one by one the whole place went dark, and the last shuttle left. We did one last scan then followed them back to Earth, diverging just outside of the atmosphere.
We fell through the air, on a collision course with Antarctica, for some reason it made me want to take a big fucking piss. I held it in though, again drifting in and out of consciousness. At the last second parachutes opened, jerking me to almost a standstill. There were 5 minutes of total silence, then I slammed into the snow and ice, the hull crunching and compacting the top layers. The top of the cockpit opened, revealing the world again.′
I swore as the cold hit me again, shoving knives through my body. I jumped out of the ship, running to Anna’s ship; it was on fire and part of the let wing had been broken off. I searched all over the front of the ship for an emergency exit button. I finally found it on the opposite side, I slammed my fist into it, and immediately the top popped off and Anna’s seat shot up into the air with her. She began to fall when the parachute opened; she landed safely about 100 feet away form the ship.
The fire had spread to the cockpit, finally the ship combusted into an inferno. I shielded Anna’s unconscious body with my own; the suit melted into my skin form the heat, and a live round shot out from the gun, hitting me in the back. I grunted and held on tighter to her, more rounds shot out, hitting the snow around me. I could hear tires coming towards us quickly, accompanied by yelling. I looked up and saw that it was the guys from the launch station.
We had landed excactly where we wanted to, about two miles away from where we had started. I heard a missile shoot out, and felt the explosion as it knocked me a dozen feet away. I slammed my head into the ground, and quickly passed out.